88 | Are you willing to embrace both sides of entrepreneuership?
Are you chasing the perks of entrepreneurship while quietly resenting the hard parts? You might be trying to hold only one side of the stick.
In this episode, I talk about the power of being honest about both sides of entrepreneurship—the beautiful and the brutal.
I walk you through the process of making a powerful decision: to embrace all of it and go all in or to set the stick down and choose a different path with clarity and peace.
Whether you're in a season of doubt or simply craving more clarity, this conversation will help you reflect on what you’re truly choosing—and where your power lies when you decide to fully pick it up… or set it down.
Hang out with me on Instagram @thealexfales
Join the waitlist for The Serenity
Transcript
I am Alex, and you're listening to The Mindful With Media Podcast.
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:Speaker: Welcome back to the podcast.
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:It's really interesting because
I had a totally different, I.
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:Topic planned out today.
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:And before I start recording, typically
I like to just brain dump all of
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:my thoughts in a journal entry.
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:And I, as I was journaling about this
other topic, I was just feeling really,
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:don't know if icky is the right word, but
I just found myself like really avoiding.
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:Journaling.
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:Like I kept wanting to go get a snack
or go get my phone and check Instagram
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:or I was like, well, maybe, you
know, I'm just not feeling it today.
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:Maybe I'll just go on a walk
and like listen to a podcast.
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:Like I just really was not wanting to
prep the podcast episode, but I just.
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:Dug deep and kind of started
journaling about that.
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:Like, why am I feeling so
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:why am I having such
a hard time with this?
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:And
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:I real realized, because I
was thinking about this other
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:topic from like a very like.
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:I need to fix this kind of
problem or I need to like change
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:people's viewpoint on this.
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:And it just didn't feel good.
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:But then as I just kept journaling
about this, I kind of was pondering
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:this other topic, which I'll
introduce, and it's this idea that
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:entrepreneurship comes with two sides.
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:There's all of the benefits
of running your own business.
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:And then with that, there are some,
I don't even know if know, even know
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:if I want to use the word challenges,
but hard parts again, like I think
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:because I'm feel familiar with.
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:Coaching tools and how
you describe things.
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:I'm just careful with how
I wanna describe things.
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:So I don't know if exactly how to
describe this other side, but some
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:harder parts or some challenges
of running your own business.
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:And I think sometimes we
don't talk about those.
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:We just pretend like it's
all good and wonderful and
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:beautiful and so I wanted to.
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:Address, just kind of this idea
of both sides of entrepreneurship.
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:And this has come about because I have
had multiple clients in the past that
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:have been kind of trying to decide if
they want to keep doing this business
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:thing or if they're tired of it, and
I've kind of coached them through that.
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:And so.
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:I kind of wanna start
with just talking about
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:all of the amazing things about
running your own business.
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:I think the first thing that
comes to mind is the time freedom
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:and the flexibility that comes
when you have your own business.
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:And it is honestly amazing if
you think about it, that I.
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:100% choose my work hours.
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:I could work any hour of any day
and nobody else is telling me
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:when to work or when not to work.
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:And kind of with that, like if
anything comes up in my life,
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:I have complete control to.
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:Cancel a call or just not do what
I had was going to do that day.
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:Like I can totally control
my work schedule and
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:I, I think about this all
the time, like I spend
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:How many hours in a week are there?
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:Let's look that up actually.
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:Okay, so there's 168 hours in a week, and
I have childcare for six hours a week.
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:So 162 hours of my 168 hours every week.
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:I.
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:I am with my kids and I wouldn't, I
like they sleep in their own rooms.
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:I sleep in my own room, but so it's
not like we're hanging out all the
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:time, but I think that's pretty
amazing that I get to spend so much
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:time with them and run my own business
and make money from my business.
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:Like that is amazing.
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:Before I married my husband, Matt.
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:So if you're new here, I probably
haven't talked about it in a while,
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:but Matt, in 2017, he was in a, or he
was playing basketball and as a result
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:of an accident that happened while he
was playing basketball, had emergency
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:brain surgery, and then as a result
of that brain surgery he has had.
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:Multiple grand mal seizures.
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:He has epilepsy, and when we were
dating and engaged, he was having
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:frequent grand mal seizures, and my
parents had a pretty open conversation
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:with me before we got engaged about.
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:What it would mean if I married
Matt, that it was a pretty real
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:possibility that I could become the
primary provider, depending on how
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:his health played out in the future.
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:And when we got engaged, I had.
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:Let's see, I was like in the middle
of a semester and then I had one more
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:semester after that and then I would be
finishing up my degree in statistics.
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:And I had done some really solid
internships during my undergrad years.
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:And basically I knew when I was really
confident that if I needed to, I could
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:find a good paying job and I could
provide for our family if I needed.
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:But then, so we got married in June.
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:Well, let me say this.
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:Matt had a grand mal seizure in March
of:
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:another grand mal seizure for four
years, which was unheard of for him.
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:And so in those four years we got
engaged, we got married, we had two kids.
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:Matt was working a full-time job that was.
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:Paying well for our family
needs at the time and I was
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:able to stay home with our kids.
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:I started mindful with media as a
passion project and then felt really
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:strongly that I should monetize it, but
we really didn't need to at the time.
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:In this process of starting my business.
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:Until last year, so March of 2024,
Matt had a, they call it a breakthrough
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:seizure, and it's basically like if you've
gone a really long time without having a
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:grand mal, grand mal seizure, and you have
another one, he had a grand mal seizure,
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:and then he had several more after that.
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:And so last year.
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:Things were pretty stressful trying
to figure out his health and his
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:work because all of his grand mal
seizures were happening on days he was
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:working in the office and trying to
figure out all of that and potential.
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:We were looking into another
brain surgery and anyways, it
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:was a really stressful time.
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:Ultimately, what we.
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:What ended up happening is near the
end of:
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:find something that could be more
accommodating for his condition.
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:But oh yeah.
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:I kind of got away with that, but I,
I just remember journaling last year
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:when things were really up in the air.
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:Like I am so grateful that I.
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:Followed that impression to start
mindfulness media because now I'm
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:in a position where I, I already
have this business set up and I
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:can, I can grow it if I need to.
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:I can stop it if I need to.
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:Basically, whatever our families
needs, I have this, this business
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:set up to provide for our family
if, if we need it to, and so.
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:That's one of the benefits of
having your own business is I could
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:still take care of our kids for.
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:Most of the day and make
money for my business.
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:And another benefit of entrepreneurship
is the unlimited earning potential.
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:And I think this is what people
get excited about, is there
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:is no, what's that called?
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:Like, you know, kind of like standard
raises or, you know, certain jobs
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:kind of have caps on how much money
you can make or things like that.
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:Like.
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:There's, there's no, nobody capping
your income as an entrepreneur.
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:The the earning potential is
unlimited and a lot of people
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:stay in the game because of this.
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:'cause they have this belief at the
back of their mind, like, this could
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:make me a ton of money someday.
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:I personally believe
that if that's your main.
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:Motivation, and especially if it's
your only motivation, it's not strong
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:enough to overcome all of the challenges
that come with entrepreneurship
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:that will address in a minute.
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:And, and just like if you have this
idea of like, I'm only gonna do this
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:if it works, that only gets you so far.
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:I, and I can't remember who this is from,
maybe Rich Lipman, I can't remember, but.
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:I think he says like, if you're here
until it works, you'll be successful.
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:If you're like, okay, I'm gonna
give it however x amount of time
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:and see if it works, you're gonna
have a really hard time making it.
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:Other benefits of entrepreneurship, I
think is just that you, you really are.
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:Completely in control of everything.
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:What you do, how you're making
your money, what you're teaching,
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:the different programs you run.
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:And I actually remember, this was
like long before I was familiar with
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:coaching, but I'm, I signed up for
a free call with a, I dunno if she'd
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:called herself a business coach,
but I was asking for questions.
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:About my business.
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:'cause she also had a business and
I, I remember her, 'cause I was
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:working part-time for someone else at
the time, and I remember her asking
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:like, if you could do everything
you currently do in your business,
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:but just for her, like under her
business and get paid by her to do it.
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:Like, would you want that?
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:And I was like, no.
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:Like.
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:I like to be the one in charge.
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:I like creating and coming up with ideas.
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:I like to be the one to decide, which is
funny because I also remember in the, at
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:the beginning of my business, I thought
that I wanted someone to just tell me
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:what to do, and I actually thought that,
I think a lot of people think they want
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:this, so I actually created a program.
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:Where I would just tell you what to
do to make a certain amount of money,
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:but I found while I was running that
program that they don't, you did
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:not start a business to have someone
tell you what to do, even though you
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:might think you want that because it
can feel really scary and uncertain.
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:When you're not following a traditional
step-by-step process or framework, or
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:you're not having someone tell you what to
do, but if you started your own business,
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:you don't want somebody
to tell you what to do.
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:Yeah, I'm gonna leave it at that.
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:I was gonna like give some exceptions,
but I'm just gonna leave it at that.
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:I really think anyone who started
their own business doesn't want
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:someone to tell them what to do.
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:I know the last kind of point that I
wanted to touch on about the pros of
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:entrepreneurship is that you can make
money doing something that you love.
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:And this is why most people that I work
with start they have a, a, a passion for
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:something or yeah, they're just really
excited about something and just that
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:realization that you can make money.
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:Doing that, doing something that
you love and you're passionate
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:about is a really exciting idea.
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:So those are all of the amazing
things about entrepreneurship, but
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:if you decide to run your own business,
you pick up both sides of the stick.
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:And so I kind of wanna address
the other things that also
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:come with entrepreneurship and.
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:And really helping you decide like,
is entrepreneurship what you want?
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:'cause I think sometimes we
are like, well, I want all
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:those things I just addressed.
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:I wanted, I want the time
freedom and the flexibility and
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:unlimited earning potential.
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:And I want control and I want
make money doing something, love.
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:Like I want those, but I
don't want these other things.
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:Like I don't, I don't, I only
want one side of the stick.
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:And so you end up feeling this, kind of
this disconnect or this frustration with
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:your business because you're trying to
choose the one without getting the other.
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:But I think it can be really powerful
to recognize the other side that
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:you're choosing to, and either be all
in and choose those things too, or.
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:Decide, you know what?
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:I don't want those things.
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:It's not worth it to me.
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:And I'm going to set this down
and choose a different stick.
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:I'm gonna choose either, you know,
no business at all, or I'm going
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:to choose working for somebody
else, finding another job, or
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:being a full-time stay at home mom.
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:Whatever your your situation is,
I think there's a lot of power in.
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:In having your eyes wide open to what
you're choosing and embracing that and
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:not pretending like, yeah, not just
having this frustration that these
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:other things are coming with it too.
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:So the other side of the stick
is that it can feel lonely.
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:I think people don't talk about that
side of entrepreneurship where typically
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:if you're a solopreneur, you are not.
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:Meeting with people all the time.
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:I mean, like a lot of my, my audience
are coaches and so maybe you're meeting
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:with your clients, but it's not like
you're working on a team, building
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:something together, bouncing ideas
off of someone, creating something
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:with another person or, you know,
you don't, you don't have coworkers.
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:I guess I'll just say that
you don't have coworkers and
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:that can feel very isolating.
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:Another aspect of entrepreneurship
that can feel hard for people
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:is this responsibility of
holding yourself accountable.
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:Whether that's accountable to boundaries
you've set in your business of when
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:you're going to work or when you're
not going to work, or holding yourself
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:accountable for completing certain tasks
or, yeah, just like this responsibility
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:that nobody else is making you work
or, or deciding how many hours you
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:should work or there's nobody else.
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:You don't have a boss that's checking
in on you or you're not clocking
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:in or clocking out and somebody
else is looking at your time card.
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:That it really is just up to you if
you're, you're gonna do it or not.
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:And.
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:This is one that I, IFI learned really
early on my, on in my business that
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:I've been pretty true to my work hours.
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:But it is something that I, I'm working
on getting even better at because
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:I do really well when I have, I,
I've set it up to have someone else
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:hold me accountable, whether that's.
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:A private client call or a podcast
interview scheduled, or my kid,
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:you know, the, I'm dropping my
kids off at the babysitter and I
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:have that time set aside to work.
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:But if I don't have somebody to hold
me accountable and I just say, oh, I'll
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:work on this at this time and, and then
something else fun comes up During that
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:time, it can be harder for me to say no
to that fun thing to say, no, I already
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:committed to do this in my business.
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:And, and it, and just kind of coming
back to the pros of this, like
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:it's such a gift that you can be
so flexible that when you're not
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:feeling well, you don't have to work.
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:That when you.
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:Do you have a fun thing going on?
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:You can go to that and
not you do your business.
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:I don't think it's always cut
and dry is just like always do
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:what you said you're gonna do.
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:But I do think it's important to ask
yourself what you really want long term.
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:I, I shared this question I think
in last week's podcast, but I've
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:been using it for lots of aspects
of my life lately is what do I want?
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:Not just now, but most.
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:And, and that can just be a really
helpful reflection question of
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:like, what do I really want?
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:Not just now, but most.
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:Another aspect of entrepreneurship that
people can wrestle with is just this idea
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:that you are responsible for everything.
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:Another is the decision fatigue.
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:You are making 100% of the
decisions, and especially if you are.
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:A mom of with kids at home or
honestly just a human, you're
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:making a lot of decisions every day.
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:And so if you're also making those
decisions in your business of what
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:offers to have and when to work and
when not to work, and how many hours to
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:work and how to use your work time and.
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:What you want your branding colors
to be and what to post on social
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:media and how you want to launch.
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:And there's a, there's a lot
of decisions that come from
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:running your own, your business.
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:You don't have anyone else
making those decisions for you.
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:And yeah, pros and cons of that, but that
decision fatigue can feel, can feel real.
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:Another aspect is the uncertainty, and
this is what, , I wouldn't say that.
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:I was gonna say this is what I find
clients struggle with the most,
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:but that's, that's not true either.
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:I think all of these different people
struggle with different times and
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:different, different things are hard
for different people, but, you know,
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:if you have a traditional job, you're
either on a salary where you know exactly
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:how much you're going to be making.
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:Each month, each year.
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:And that's just a set standard.
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:Or if you have an hourly job, it's
very certain if I work X amount of
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:hours, I will make X amount of dollars.
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:And some people really like that.
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:Certainty and predictability,
I would say I do.
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:I really like certainty
and predictability.
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:But entrepreneurship comes at
a cost that you don't have that
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:certainty and predictability
that comes from a full-time job.
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:There's pros of, of the uncertainty
too, you know, where it's, that's why
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:you have unlimited earning potential.
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:That's why you can work so few hours and
make so much money, relatively speaking.
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:Because the uncertainty.
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:Yeah.
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:You don't know how many people are
gonna sign up for a specific offer.
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:You don't know exactly when your
next client is going to come.
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:You don't know
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:exactly how much you're going to be.
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:Making and side note, there are ways
to set up your business for recurring
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:revenue so you can have a baseline , so
you can have that reliable income
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:and that some certainty in there.
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:But even in that, there's, there's a lot
of ups and downs in, in entrepreneurship
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:in that that uncertainty can feel
really scary to our, our human brains.
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:I kinda already mentioned this one,
but you don't have anybody telling you
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:what to do, even if you think you want
somebody tell, to tell you what to do.
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:Personal development journey, this is
one that you could see is all of these
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:you could see as pros and cons, but
that is a challenge of entrepreneurship
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:that I think most people don't expect,
but you learn pretty quickly just.
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:How much you grow when you
have your own business.
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:And I will admit there was a time,
hmm, I don't know, not too long ago
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:when I I wanted to stop my business.
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:Because I felt like it would be an out,
like I wouldn't have to grow so much.
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:I wouldn't have to like do
all this personal development
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:that came with the business.
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:I was like, I didn't
wanna quit my business.
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:I was just ready to quit.
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:Like all of the inner growth.
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:Which is funny because I love the inner
growth, but I was like, oh my gosh,
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:I'm just tired of learning and growing.
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:Like I just wanna break from this.
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:And of course there are
all aspects of life.
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:There are.
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:The business is not the only way
to grow as a person, but having
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:your own business is a sure way to
bring you on a personal development
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:journey and that can feel growing.
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:That stretches you in in new ways.
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:Some other things that come with
kind of related to this personal
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:development journey, but can come
with entrepreneurship is self-doubt,
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:accidentally seeking external validation.
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:Trying to prove something,
feeling embarrassed about
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:where you're at in business.
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:Just all of these inner things that come
up when you're running your own business.
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:And then also just like the
more a practical of like.
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:There's legal things and
tech things and admin things.
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:There's a lot of behind the scenes work
that people don't often picture when
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:they think about starting a business.
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:And so.
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:Like I said, like I think it can be
really beautiful and powerful to look
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:at both sides of the stick, all of
the amazing benefits of running your
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:own business and the things that can
feel harder or challenging, and only
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:you can decide if you are willing to
walk the path of entrepreneurship.
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:And I, I wanna make it really clear that
I don't think it's a right or wrong thing.
339
:I don't think one way is right or
wrong, but I do think only you know
340
:what decision is right for you and
your family, and only you can make
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:that powerful decision to be all in
and pick up both sides of the stick.
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:And embrace the good things and the hard
things or set that stick down and embrace
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:the good things and the hard things that
come of, of not running your own business.
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:After Matt quit his job last year and
we were gonna have him start looking
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:for jobs that were more accommodating
for his condition, we realized.
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:It would probably be best if
he never worked a full-time
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:job again with his health.
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:And so we're kind of looking at our
different options and I seriously
349
:considered finding either a
full-time job or a part-time job.
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:But when we were doing the math and
we looked at how many hours I was
351
:working on a time, which was about.
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:10 hours at the time, six hours of
childcare, plus times when my kids
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:were doing quiet time and then.
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:At the time I was making
about $2,000 a month.
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:And just doing the math, it was like,
well, that's making $46 an hour.
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:And so
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:just realizing, just doing that
math plus when you factored in.
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:All of the other benefits, you know,
the potential to make more, still
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:working the same amount of hours
that I was working at the time.
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:It's something that fills me up and
lights me up so that when I'm not working,
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:I'm way better able to serve my family.
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:You know, I was doing something that
I loved and I was able to still spend
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:so much time with our kids and caring
for our house and connecting with Matt.
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:Once we factored all of that, it just
didn't make sense to find something else.
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:And that felt scary at first
because of the uncertainty
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:from running your own business.
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:But I just have to say I'm so grateful for
entrepreneurship and that I've, I've been
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:able to embrace it with both feet in and.
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:That's honestly why I'm willing to
invest in a high ticket coach because
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:I love having someone in my corner to
help with the other side of the stick,
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:the challenges, the loneliness, the.
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:The accountability, the decision
fatigue, the uncertainty, the
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:personal development journey.
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:I love having a coach to
help me with all of that.
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:And if you want someone to support
you on your path of entrepreneurship,
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:if you are all in with your
business, I would love to chat and.
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:I can't make all of the, the things on
the other side of the stick go away,
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:but I can definitely help and I, I
love to, to do this work with clients.
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:So if you're feeling this tug to
explore what it could look like to work
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:together, send me a DM on Instagram.
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:The Alex fails or send me an
email, alex@mindfulwithmedia.com.
