Episode 77

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Published on:

19th Feb 2025

77 | Managing panic attacks as a business owner and mom of littles

This episode feels especially vulnerable. I share about the 2 panic attacks I had this week and things I do to take care of my mental health as a business owner, mom of littles, and someone who has experienced panic attacks.

Hang out with me on Instagram @thealexfales

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Transcript
Speaker:

Hey there and welcome back to the podcast.

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Today's episode feels really vulnerable

so I'm a little nervous but I have felt

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really strongly like I need to share

more about this aspect of my life.

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So this week I had two panic attacks

and I'll share more about them but

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They're the first panic attacks.

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Let's see, I think I had one last May, so

it's been almost a year since I have had a

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panic attack, but I just kind of wanted to

share more about that aspect of my life,

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my mental health, my panic attacks, and

how I manage them and what my life looks

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like because of that part of my life.

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So, I think I'll just, well, I guess if

you want to hear more of like, the whole

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story of my mental health journey, and

it's a continuous process, but if you

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want to hear more of kind of the history

of my mental health, you can listen to

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I think it's episode 12 of the podcast.

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Yeah, oh no, it's episode 13.

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And I'll link it in the show notes, but

it's just called My Mental Health Journey.

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And that's from May of 2023.

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So, obviously, things

have happened since then.

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But I share a little

bit more history there.

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But I kind of want to just

share what happened this week.

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So, we've been sick this week.

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And it's actually our first time

getting sick this season, which

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has been amazing in so many ways.

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not be sick all winter, because I

feel like that has happened in the

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past, but we've had a really healthy

winter, which has been amazing.

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And we weren't, well, how do I say this?

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I don't know.

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Where am I going?

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So we got sick this week and we were

all varying, what's that called?

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Like intensities of sickness.

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But because we were sick, we ended

up staying at home, not getting

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together with other people.

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And I also wasn't running this

week partially because I was sick.

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But once I started feeling better, I

probably would have started running,

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but my The people I usually run with

weren't running this week and then

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also sleep was really, really, really

rough these, this last week or so.

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And if you know me, you know

how much I value my sleep.

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And so I was reminded very clearly why

sleep is so important for me this week.

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Anyway, so Thursday night, oh, Wednesday

night was like The worst night.

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My son was just, like,

especially not doing well.

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We ended up going to

Walmart at, like, 10 p.

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m.

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to get some medicine because

we had already run out and he

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was just, like, hysterical.

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Anyways, we ended up having our kids

both sleep on the floor in our room.

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We, like, brought their mattresses

in and We're not falling asleep.

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And then my daughter was up like every

30 minutes and we had to have like

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had several nights of this where I was

getting like four or five hours of sleep.

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And I typically get like.

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9 or 10.

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So, this was extreme for me.

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And, so, that was rough.

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Thursday, we were so tired, but it

ended up being a pretty good day.

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Thursday night, we go to bed.

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And, my son wakes up.

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I don't know, I didn't know

what time it was at the time,

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but I now know it was like 11.

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30 or something.

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And, He woke up and was just, like,

hysterical, which this used to happen

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every night with him until about six

months ago, but he just gets in these,

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like, I don't even know how to explain

it, but it's almost like he's like

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not awake, like he's not himself, but

he's just like Hysterical and like

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just crying and cannot be Soothed.

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So he was in one of those states and

my daughter who's two, she came to get

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me and tell me they share a room and

It's honestly kind of a blur that night

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But I went in and I think I tucked my

daughter back in and then I was trying

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to help My son, my three year old and he

just was not coming down, which is not

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that abnormal for him, but I went into

a panic attack and like right before

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it happened, I could like sense it was

coming and so I called out for Matt.

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Our room is right next

door to the kids room.

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And so we like screamed out and then

my body just starts shaking and it's

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honestly kind of like a seizure.

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Like Matt.

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As you know, has seizures and so I,

I picture it like looking kind of

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like, it feels like what his seizures

look like, where I just like shake,

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but I don't drop to the ground.

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I just like, well, this is actually

the first time I've shaked during

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a panic attack, panic attack.

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Typically my panic attacks.

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My, my arms and my hands get really stiff,

and my hands get like really, really,

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yeah, just stiff and kind of deformed

and really tight, and I'm conscious,

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like I'm totally conscious and aware

the whole time, but I can't speak.

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Like, I'll try saying things and

it just like nothing comes out.

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Sometimes I can get out like Uh, uh, or

things like that, but like I can't talk.

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And they're really scary

to experience that.

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So I'm like shaking and my hands are

starting to like stiffen and get deformed.

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And so Matt comes in and like, I

think he sat me on the chair in the

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kid's room and helped the kids while

I am still in this panic attack.

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And the kids are freaking out because

they want me and I'm like, Want to help

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them, but I can't and it's a really

scary experience And I honestly don't

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really remember how that ended except

for that I did end up back in my bed and

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I fell back asleep So I came out of the

panic attack must have calmed down and

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fell back asleep I thought this was like

several hours later, but I think it was

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Matt said it was really close together

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My kids woke up again.

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Again, this is like such a blur and

This time Matt went to go help them,

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but they were like begging for me He

and he like helped he got them to calm

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down but he said that can they just

want a hug and a kiss from you and then

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They'll go back to bed.

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And so I got up to go

give them a hug and a kiss

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And I, when I went into their room,

I went into another panic attack.

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I started shaking again I started, like,

trying to call for help, but I couldn't.

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And my hands started to get

deformed, Matt came in to help me

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again, and it's almost like I'm

hysterical, like, when this happens.

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And again, this is, like, very much

a blur, but I ended up back in.

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My bed and so Matt's like

trying to help the kids.

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They're both like screaming and crying.

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I'm like trying to use the tools that

I've learned to like get myself back to

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like help myself out of the panic attack.

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So Matt's like trying to help

everyone and I just, well I have two

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very clear thoughts that I remember

having during the panic attack.

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One was call somebody and so I kept trying

to say that to Matt, like call someone,

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call someone, but it just comes out as

like, and then but he did eventually.

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He must I must have like said it clear

enough or something that he called

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someone from our neighborhood who

came over to help and The other like

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very clear thought I had was like you

need to share about this online, which

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feels really vulnerable Because this

is the thing about my panic attacks.

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Well, oh, yeah, I'll explain about

more about this later But like

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I do so many things So that my

mental health is in a good place.

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And so I feel like most of the time,

like I'm in a really good place.

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It's almost like I'm in a

really good place until I'm not.

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And then it's just like.

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Extreme panic attacks.

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And I think especially in the world

of like life coaching and mindset

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work, I've had to work through a

lot of shame about my panic attacks.

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Almost like these are my fault.

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Like it's because of the thoughts that I'm

having and I'm causing these and I'm like.

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That may be true, but I've had to let

go of a lot of the shame around the

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fact that I have experienced these.

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And like, maybe I'll never experience

one again, and that would be amazing.

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But I feel like every time I

have one, it's like a really

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good time for me to check in.

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with myself because it usually

means my needs are not being met

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in some way or another and I just

have like a really extreme reaction

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to not having my needs being met.

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So I just want to share about yeah the

things that I do to honestly to not

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experience panic attacks so that I can

live a Not just a normal life, but like

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a really rich, fulfilling, happy life.

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As a business owner, as a mom of two

adorable kids, as a wife, as someone

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who likes to serve in my community,

as a friend, all of the things.

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So, the first thing that I do to managed

these to, to take care of my mental

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health, is having a regular babysitter.

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And we started having someone come to

regularly watch our kids when Eve, so

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she's my two year old, she's almost two

and a half, when she was six weeks old.

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My kids are 18 months apart,

so Beckham was one and a half,

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and she was six weeks old.

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And, to be completely honest, my kids

have really struggled with babysitters.

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I know some people talk about their

kids just, like, having no stranger

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danger, or like, minimal stranger danger.

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And I would say actually

my second is more that way.

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I would say she's more typical.

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But my first has really, really, really

struggled with being away from me.

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And I have had to work through a lot with

that of like, should I be with him more?

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Is this not good for us to have

a regular babysitter because

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he just needs to be with?

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His mom, like, anyways, but I have

learned from these panic attacks and other

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experiences that it's actually really

healthy and the best thing for our family,

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for him, for my kids, for my husband,

for me to have a regular babysitter come.

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So we've always had someone come.

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Ranging from four hours a

week to six hours a week.

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That's been like our sweet

spot for having a babysitter.

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Except, last summer, so, when Matt's

health was in a really tough spot, I had

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a panic attack in May, and so as soon as

I had that panic attack, we realized we

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needed some more support and more help,

so then we hired a babysitter to not only

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come for Six hours a week while I worked,

but also we had someone come for like

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an hour and a half every morning so that

I could run and Get ready by myself and

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have time to connect with God and just

really have that time for myself when

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Matt Couldn't be alone with the kids at

that time So, during that phase, we had

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that babysitter come for about six months,

so that was like six hours for work time

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plus, what is that, like, seven or eight

hours for my personal self care time.

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But yeah, we have a regular babysitter

come, and that has been really,

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really, really huge For my mental

health, and for my relationship with

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my kids, and for Matt, and for my

relationship with him, is having

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that reliable and consistent support.

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The other thing that I do to live a

fulfilled life when I have experienced

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panic attacks and Maybe I'm more prone

to, to that, is I take medication.

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I started taking medication

when I was pregnant with Eve.

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And I was always the type of person

that was like, very supportive of

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other people taking medication.

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And I even said that I personally

was open to medication.

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But I, well, one, I had called

my sister crying and she told

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me to come over to her house.

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And so I came over to her house.

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This was when Beckham was a baby,

when I was pregnant with Eve.

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And she dialed the phone for me, held

the phone up to my ear to call to get

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an appointment to get on medication.

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Even after that, so like I went

and picked up the medication, I

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had the medication in my car for

over a month, but I never took it.

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And I was, I'm like, I wouldn't say

that I was scared, but obviously

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I was because I wasn't taking it.

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And so I had to like reorder it

because it had gone bad because

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I didn't take it in time.

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But I started taking it,

and it did make me nauseous.

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Like, I threw up for,

like, kind of a long time.

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But I was also pregnant, so I don't

know if it's just that combination.

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And I didn't think that it was working.

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Like, I was like, eh, like, it's

not really impacting anything.

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But before I had, like, my follow up check

in appointment, my husband, Matt, I think

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I was like, And I'm going to be doing

a video on that, so if you guys want to

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see that, I'll be doing a video on that.

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So I'll see you guys in a couple of days.

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Bye.

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You probably would have had a panic

attack in the past, but you didn't and

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so I'm on like a very open about this.

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I'm on Sertraline, which is Zoloft

is another name for that medication.

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I take 50 milligrams and It has been

life changing for me and the thing

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about medication So many things.

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Well, one, I'll often have people ask me

like when I plan to get off of it or if I

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plan to get off of it and the answer right

now is no, I don't plan to get off of it.

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For me and for my history and

for my experience, medication

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didn't just solve everything.

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Like this week, I still had panic

attacks and it's not like It just

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makes all your anxiety, depression,

problems, whatever it is, go away.

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For me, it gets me to a place where I can

do all of the other things that help my

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mental health, which I'll get into, but

things like thought work and mindset work.

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Things like, eating a healthy diet,

things like exercise, running, things like

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getting enough sleep, things like drinking

water, things like getting outside,

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things like socializing, like those are

the things that help my mental health.

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But when I'm not on medication, then

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it's like I can't even do those things.

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Or if I don't do those things, like even

just a tiny bit, like if I don't live like

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a very perfect schedule, then like, boom,

panic attack, panic attack, panic attack.

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So that's been my

experience with medication.

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The other things that help

me is getting enough sleep.

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And I actually like, re shared a

podcast episode a few weeks ago that

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is hands down my most downloaded.

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episode, like the original

one was, but I re released it.

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It's episode 74, finding time to sleep

as a business owner is what I called it.

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But I think I originally called it how

to make yourself go to bed on time.

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And yeah, I just share more about how

I really, really, really value going.

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Well, I really, really

value getting enough sleep.

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And for me, that means

going to bed pretty early.

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Like I go to bed by 9 PM most nights

and I'm Very conscious of like how

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many girls nights I go to because

those often push my bedtime back later.

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I'm very conscious of

Going on trips as a family.

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I'm very conscious of like Matt and

I Going on dates, not like going on

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dates in general, but like if we go

to a show, then I know I'm gonna get

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to bed a little bit later, so I'm just

like very, very conscious of as much

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as possible still going to bed by 9 p.

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m.

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Because I'm really impacted

when I don't get enough sleep.

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And Matt is too.

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So we got, oh and also like when we

get together with family, like when

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we're, you know, for the holidays.

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It's honestly been kind of hard because,

When family's staying up playing games,

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like, we often miss out on the fun,

because if I don't get enough sleep, I'm

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way more prone to have a panic attack.

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If Matt doesn't get enough sleep,

he's way more prone to have a seizure.

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And so, just acknowledging that

about ourselves, and occasionally

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we will, but just know that.

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If we do it too much, like, you don't

always know where the line is of what's

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gonna trigger the seizures or the panic

attacks, but we are both very, very,

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very protective of getting enough sleep.

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The other thing that I do to take

care of my needs and my mental

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health is running and exercising.

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I would say in this phase of my life,

I run on average like three times a

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week, and then I'll Go to an exercise

class at the rec, like twice a week.

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And it's so good for me.

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Like, it's just, I've heard people say

like running is my, what is it called?

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My drug of choice or things like that.

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I'm like, I need the medication and

the running and the sleep and the food.

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Like I just need it all.

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But running is huge for me and I haven't

run at all this last week and I'm feeling

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it, but I did go on a walk outside today.

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So that's been good for me.

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And also, spending a lot of time outside.

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You know that I do the 1, 000 Hours

Outside Challenge, and it's really, really

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huge for my mental health to get outside.

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And then also, socialization.

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I have very high social needs, and maybe

more people are like this, but like,

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I Hang out with friends every day, and

I need to hang out with friends every

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day, and Yeah, I, that's really crucial.

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So that's been hard this week, not

seeing people as much as we usually do.

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Eating real meals, that's

really important to me.

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And I wouldn't say that I'm, like,

super strict about what I eat,

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but I am pretty conscious that,

like, I get three meals a day.

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That's really important to me.

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And then the last thing that I'll mention

that I do to take care of my mental

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health is journaling, and you've probably

heard of the concept of morning pages.

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Basically, it's just this idea

that you write just to write,

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like, you don't have any Thank you.

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Purpose in your writing.

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And that's been really good for me

to just get the thoughts in my head

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out on paper and to process things

through the act of writing things.

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And it's kind of varied what

that's looked like, but typically

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I do that in the mornings after I

run is what's worked well lately.

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But that's been huge for me to take time

to pause and process and for me it's

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really important for it to be handwritten.

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I know a lot of people do it just

like type on a computer or like on

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their phone on the notes app and for

me something about like the physical

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writing has been really huge for me.

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And then I will say the last

thing, like, I've done lots of

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therapy, I'm not in therapy right

now, but I do love being coached.

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I feel like I Like, in coaching

and therapy, there's some overlap,

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and then there's some difference.

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Like, from my understanding, therapy

is more like trauma, working through

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things from your past, like, things

like that, whereas coaching is a little

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bit more future, like, kind of what's

going on right now and the future.

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And like, Not necessarily like working

through past problems, but like, okay,

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what do you want to create in the future?

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And then being coached

to create what you want.

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That's been my experience and

understanding of coaching, but I

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do feel like it totally impacts my

mental health to have somebody to.

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work through things with and talk through

things and just have these thoughts

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that are subconscious become aware of

those thoughts so that I can actively

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choose what to do with those thoughts.

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That is basically it.

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That is what I do to Oh, and the

other thing that I'll mention before

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I finish today is I'm also very

conscious of what I'm prioritizing.

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And I Oh, no, no, no.

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This is what I'm gonna say.

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Okay.

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This is huge for me, and I feel like

journaling has a huge part of this,

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is recognizing when I'm not having

needs met before it gets too extreme.

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So that didn't happen this week.

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Actually, I did recognize,

like I actually called my mom

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and was like, I'm struggling.

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I'm not in a great place.

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And I, my journal entry is from

this week, but I, I didn't know

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what to do about it was the problem.

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I felt like I was stuck because I,

those things that normally helped me

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sleeping, running, getting outside.

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We like tried to go outside this week.

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It was bitter cold, like so

cold getting to other, getting

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together with other people.

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I didn't want to get other people sick.

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All the things that usually helped me.

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I felt like they're outside of

my control, which I don't know.

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I, I'm going to talk through this with

my coach because I feel like in the

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coaching world, there's this idea that

like, you, you're not a victim, right?

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Like you are the one in the driver's seat.

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You, you get to choose,

you get to control.

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And so I, I would love to be able to

see the situation differently of like,

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in what ways was I being a victim?

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And in what ways was I missing

that I actually had power over

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things that I, that I didn't see?

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That I was actually just

saying, like, I'm a victim.

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So that's something that I'm

going to be working through.

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But with that, I feel like journaling

really helps me, like, oh my gosh,

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like I'm starting to feel a little off.

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I wonder what that means that

I need, like, do I need to

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go be by myself for a night?

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Do I need to Get together with friends.

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Do I need more time to, like, more

protected space to write or to read?

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Do I need, like, just recognizing

things before they get extreme?

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I feel like that is really huge for

me, and I feel like I have to recognize

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it for myself first, and then I'm

able to communicate that to Matt.

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And like, this is what I need, are you

able to meet those needs or do we need

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to get support from somewhere else?

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And sometimes he's able to meet those

needs and sometimes he's not able to

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because of his needs, because of his

health, because of different things.

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And so then that's when we go for outside

support and outside help and being

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willing to reach out and get that support.

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So, yeah, I.

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That is just a little glimpse into my

life with panic attacks, with mental

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:

health, and I really do share this to,

I don't know why, I guess I just felt

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like I was supposed to, but that I,

I do not want to be a victim of my,

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:

of my experiences with panic attacks

and I really do feel like I live a

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:

very happy, peaceful, fulfilled life.

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And I feel like panic attacks can

show me things that I'm missing.

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:

Like, okay, what, what did I

miss about what I'm needing?

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:

What my needs are.

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And so, yeah, every time it's just kind

of a little time to check in, realize

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some changes that need to be made,

and make those changes so that my life

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can be a little bit better, and not

just my life, but the lives of others.

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:

When my life's better, then my kids

lives are better, my husband's life's

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better, my client's lives are better,

my neighbor's lives are better.

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I just feel like it's just an

opportunity to check in and improve.

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And also I've had to let go a lot

of the shame that I have had in the

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:

past about what this means about me

because I have had panic attacks.

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And I also like, I don't know

if I'll include this, but I

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don't like the pity either.

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:

I think when I've shared about

panic attacks before, it feels

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:

like there's a lot of like, I'm

so sorry, which makes sense.

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:

Like, I think I, I, like,

I, I'm grateful for that.

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:

And maybe that's something I

need to work through of just

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:

like being able to accept that.

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But for some reason that is hard

for me right now is like, I don't.

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I don't love the pity around it.

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Anyways, that is all I have to share

today and I hope you have a really

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wonderful week and if you're dealing

with any of this, feel free to reach out.

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I am more than happy to share

my experiences with navigating

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:

mental health as a mom of

littles and as a business owner.

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About the Podcast

Mindful with Media
This is the podcast for entrepreneurial moms who want to grow a meaningful, profitable business without sacrificing their other priorities (like spending time with their kids or getting enough sleep).

Host Alex Fales—business coach, mindset mentor, and mom—shares honest conversations, simple strategies, and powerful mindset shifts to help you and make money doing work you love and grow as a person while you're at it.

Expect solo episodes, authentic chats, and real-life stories that help you blend business strategy with personal growth, so you can build a business that supports your life (not the other way around).

Because you don’t need more hustle.
You need clarity, confidence, and the courage to do business your way.