Episode 35

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Published on:

13th Dec 2023

35 | Turn Off the Noise

We live in a time with constant "noise" (social media, podcasts, music, news, books, audiobooks). With all of these voices, it's hard to hear the voice that matters most: your inner voice. Tune in to this week's podcast episode to learn how to turn off the noise and why it matters.

The Inside Out: an 8-week program designed to transform your relationship with your phone

Transcript
Speaker:

Do you ever find yourself turning to your

phone without even thinking about it?

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Or do you get sucked into

scrolling and regret not using

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that time for something else?

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You are not alone.

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I'm Alex, a Screen Time Mentor for

Young Moms, and I'm here to help you

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get a grip on your own screen time

so you can be present, intentional,

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and live a more fulfilling life.

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Welcome to the Mindful With Media Podcast.

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Hi, how are you?

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I'm so excited today, we get to talk about

turning off the noise and I think that's.

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Powerful.

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Any.

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Time of the year, but especially

in December when this can be a

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kind of crazy chaotic time of year.

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So, yeah, today we'll be talking about.

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Turning off the noise and I'll

kind of share what I mean by that.

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And then how to do it and why it matters.

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So I want to start off by sharing a

story from when my son, I think he was

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probably about nine months old, maybe.

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And he was screaming in his high chair.

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And.

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I had just made him.

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What I thought was a

really good breakfast.

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It was like some peanut butter

oatmeal with some bananas.

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Anyways, but he was refusing to eat

this breakfast that I had made for him.

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And my mind was, I just couldn't think

clearly with him screaming at me.

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And I was overwhelmed

with everything going on.

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And so I just needed a break

in order to get a reset.

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And so, my husband was getting ready

for work and I asked him if he could,

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you know, be with our son for a minute.

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And I went to , my bedroom away

from the noise and I just plugged

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my ears and close my eyes.

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And I talked to God and

I asked for his help.

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To help me see this situation differently.

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And so I was in a better space.

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I went back to my son and

my son was still screaming.

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He was still refusing his breakfast.

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Nothing had changed about that situation,

but I was in such a much better

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place to handle what was going on.

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And.

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I think this is true with.

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The noise of the world or

with media or social media.

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Where often we.

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Are overwhelmed by the noise of.

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What we see on social media, or it can

even be just the general noise of the

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world, whether that's music or podcasts

or the news or emails, whatever it is.

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And so we can't think clearly with all

of these messages being screamed at us.

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Just like, I couldn't think clearly

with my son screaming at me.

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And so sometimes we just need

to take a break, take a break

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from the noise of the world.

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The.

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Noise of social media, the noise

of podcasts, the noise of music,

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the noise of advertisements.

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And while we're taking a break.

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Talk to God and ask for help.

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If, if you believe in God if

not kind of turn into your inner

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voice and just take a break and.

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This won't stop the loud messages.

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Being screamed at you on

media and through media.

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But you'll be in such a much

better place to manage all of

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the voices that you're hearing.

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So when I talk about turning

off the noise, I mean.

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Turning off or taking a break from other

voices so that you can really tune in.

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And hear your own inner voice, or if you

believe in God, maybe to hear God's voice.

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And when you do this, when you

quiet down other voices, You're able

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to find out what you really want.

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It really is so easy in.

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Our world of influencers and

gurus and coaches and experts.

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And loud voices online.

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I mean, even I am a voice

that's influencing you.

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It can be easy to lose your own voice

or to stop hearing your own quiet voice.

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But the truth is, you know,

more than you think you do.

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And so it can be really helpful to.

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Turn off those voices

and just trust yourself.

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And find out what you really want.

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And I found that as I am intentional

about creating time and creating space

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to just listen to my inner voice.

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Which I believe is connected

to God and is God's voice.

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That

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I feel more peace.

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I'm able to hear my own

voice and my own thoughts.

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I have so many ideas.

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I feel excited and, my

mindset is in a better place.

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I'm in a place of growth and

abundance and possibilities where.

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It can be easy if I'm not taking these

times to turn off the noise, if I'm

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just constantly having other voices.

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Filling my mind, then I start to get

in places of scarcity or feeling.

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Fear or feeling.

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Shame or just

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I don't live the way , that I

want to live when I don't take a

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break to hear my own inner voice.

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And I end up.

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Start just trying to copy what

other people are doing instead of.

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Really.

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Thinking about what do I want

and what does God want for my

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life and how can I create that?

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when I turn off the noise and

take breaks from the noise.

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I'm really better able to tune into that.

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And I want to note that.

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The noise.

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I'm talking about it.

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Kind of from a negative perspective, but.

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The noise isn't necessarily all bad.

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In fact, I think a lot of the noise

that we hear and I say that, you know,

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the things we see on social media, that

things we hear on podcasts, the music

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we hear, it's actually really good.

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And you know, that's my whole thing

with mindful with media is that.

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I don't want to totally get rid of all of

it, because there is so much that's good.

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But the problem is, if you don't

take breaks from it, That noise.

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Can drown out.

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The voice that matters most,

which is your inner voice or

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what I believe is God's voice..

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I've shared this experience on the

podcast before, but my baby girl who

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she's honestly not really a baby anymore.

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She's 14 months.

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But.

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For the first.

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Year of her life.

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I just fed her to sleep at night.

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And.

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I don't know how old she was,

maybe six months or something.

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I decided to set a new phone boundary.

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And I decided that I wouldn't use my

phone whenever I was feeding my baby girl.

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And.

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I primarily did this because I

wanted to feel closer to her.

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And I really wanted to cherish

that special time with my baby.

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But I was so surprised

that there were so many.

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Unexpected results of choosing

to do this, choosing to leave my

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phone away and just focus on my

baby while feeding her to sleep.

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Because I spent anywhere from 15 minutes

to an hour every night in the dark

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silence, as I fed my baby to sleep.

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And the proactive person in me that likes

to get things done, felt like this was

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a waste of time because I could have

been creating reels for my business.

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I could have been responding to texts or

responding to DMS or writing in my journal

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on my phone or meal planning or making

a grocery list or reading my scriptures.

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So I felt like this was.

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Kind of like unproductive to

just sit there and do nothing.

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And just.

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Be with my thoughts, but I found out that.

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Having this quiet time with the

noise off you could call it.

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Had so many benefits because

I ended up being so much more

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efficient and productive when I

actually was working at other times.

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And I had so many ideas

come to me during those.

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Nights when I would just sit

in my little girl's room.

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Holding her as she was falling asleep.

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I had ideas for work and for my life

and for certain problems and situations.

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And I just felt so much more calm

and peaceful, not only in that

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moment, but also all the time.

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And so as we take time to turn

off the noise, to leave our

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phone in another room or to.

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You know, just do nothing

instead of trying to multitask.

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You know, listen, while you do

something else or whatever it is.

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That it seems like you would be less

productive, you know, because you're not.

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What's that called stacking tasks,

which is like a productivity tip.

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But I found that I was

actually more productive.

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When I was doing other

things, because I have time.

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Two.

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Let my mind have a break from the noise.

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I end up being more

productive at other times.

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And I've also found that another

benefit of taking regular

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time to turn off the noise.

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Is I feel more connected with myself.

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Like I've really kind of figured out.

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More who I am and what gives me energy

and what drains my energy, and really

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just figured out who I am, because I have

this time with myself to figure that out

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something else that is really

powerful about the benefits of.

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Taking time to take a break

from the noise of the world.

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Is when you do this, you're

better able to manage stress.

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So research shows that.

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When you practice just turning

off the noise and just, you know,

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whatever you want to call it, a

mindfulness practice or being present

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that this makes it easier for you.

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Not only to deal with something

stressful that happens like right then

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in that moment, but you're also better

able to cope with stressful things

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that happen later, whether that's.

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Later that day or in the future.

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I mean, we saw this example with me taking

a break from my son screaming, right.

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That.

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I was in a better place too.

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Handle that stressful event.

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And just as you take regular

time to turn off the noise.

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You will notice that you'll

have more thoughts of.

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Things that you can do

for other people or.

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Answers for certain questions.

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I just, obviously, that's why I'm

doing this podcast episode, but

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I just can't emphasize enough how

powerful this practice has been in

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my life to take a break from the

noise and listen to my inner voice.

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Which I believe is God's voice.

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And I want to know that you

will probably feel uncomfortable

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when you turn off the noise.

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Especially if this is something

you haven't done before.

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Or if you haven't done it to this level,

here was a study published in:

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And.

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Every person that was part of this study.

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He said that they would pay

money to avoid being shocked.

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Then.

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Each person was asked

to sit alone in a room.

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And just entertain themselves with

their thoughts for 15 minutes.

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But in this room, there was a button

that the person could press, and it

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would give them like an electric shock.

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It would shock them.

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And.

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This is where it's crazy.

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So everybody said they would

pay to avoid being shocked.

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Then the like participants are in

this room alone for 15 minutes.

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And there's a thing that they

could press, that would shock them.

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67% of the men and 25% of the women

chose to shock themselves by pressing

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the button, even though every single

one of them had previously said that

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they would pay to avoid being shocked.

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Isn't that crazy.

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And I kind of laugh at the

people in this study, but

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that's very relatable, right?

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Like just sitting alone with

your thoughts for 15 minutes.

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Is not something we're accustomed

to, especially in this day and age

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where we always have our phones or.

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Our air pods or music or a podcast or our

kids screaming, you know, like we're just

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not used to being alone with our thoughts.

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And so you really have to be

intentional about taking the time.

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To be still and just think.

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And really like ask yourself,

how often do you avoid your own

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thoughts by pulling out your phone?

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And what would you do with 15

minutes alone with your thoughts?

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Would you shock yourself?

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Would you be willing to.

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Let yourself think.

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This really takes practice to be

willing to turn off the noise and just.

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Be alone with your thoughts.

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You'll probably have certain thoughts

or feelings that you've never

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allowed yourself to feel before.

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And that will be uncomfortable.

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You can listen to episode 29 of

the podcast it's called when you're

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in a hard place emotionally and.

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I share some really practical things

that you can do in the moment.

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If.

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You're trying to really

just sit with your feelings.

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And your thoughts.

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Instead of turning to your phone.

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And.

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I've been doing this work for.

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A couple of years now of learning to.

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Not just turn to my phone all

the time and really just two.

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Allow feelings into.

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Be alone with my thoughts and

to let myself turn off the noise

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and to be still and just think,

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but I had an experienced

several months ago where we were

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visiting my in-laws in Wyoming.

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And my father-in-law was at work

and my mother-in-law was at an

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appointment and my husband had

gone out to lunch with a friend.

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So I was the only adult home and

both of my kids were napping.

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And I was hoping to get some

work done during that time.

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And I opened my laptop, but I

couldn't connect to the wifi.

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And I realized that I had left my phone

in the car that my husband had took.

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So I had no way of contact anyone

to get the password for the wifi.

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And I kept trying to think of productive

ways that I could use this time.

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But I wasn't at home, so I

couldn't work on any of my house

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projects or laundry or cleaning or.

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You know, your long list of, to do's

that you can always be working on.

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And I didn't have my phone, so

I couldn't do anything on there.

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Like create social media

posts or read scriptures or.

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Journal on my phone or anything

that I would typically do on there.

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And I didn't have a book with

me, so I couldn't read anything.

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And I literally just sat with

my thoughts, doing nothing.

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And it was that experience

that made me realize that.

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We always want to have noise right there.

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We like the input.

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It's really hard to just have silence to

turn off the noise can be really hard.

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But as we talked about,

there are so many powerful.

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Benefits that come.

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If we're just willing to turn

off the noise, the peace and the

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connection with yourself and the.

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Creativity and the ideas and

even the productivity and.

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The.

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Insights and ideas you'll have of

things you can do for other people.

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It really is powerful if you're

just willing to take time to.

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To turn off the noise for a little

bit and be alone with your thoughts.

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So let's get into some practical

ways of how you can do this,

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how you can turn off the noise.

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Something I've noticed about our society.

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Is.

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Times and activities and situations.

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That.

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In the past, people would use to just

think and ponder I don't know Our

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thinking time and our pondering time.

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=doesn't really exist

anymore because of media.

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So, you know, I think people used

to, when they were doing the dishes.

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They couldn't listen to anything.

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And so that was a time to just ponder

or when they were showering or when

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they were going to the bathroom or

falling asleep at night or driving or.

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Walking places like in the past, those

were all times to ponder and to think,

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and to have the noise turned off.

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But now.

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More often than not.

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Those are times when we.

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Sticking our AirPods and listen to a

podcast or we listen to music or we

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scroll on our phone for a sec, or we

order something on our phone or we

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text somebody back on our phone or we.

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I do some quick online

shopping, whatever it is.

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Those times that used to be our

time to be still and time to.

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Have silence and thinking

and pondering time have been.

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Filled with the noise of media.

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And again, like I mentioned

earlier, The noise isn't bad.

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I really believe the

noise is good and helps.

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And.

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Enhances our life in so many ways.

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But I do think it's so powerful to take.

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Some of those times.

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To turn off the noise and to.

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Listen to your inner voice.

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And so.

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, like I said, you can

just start really small.

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This could be.

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Taking some time to journal.

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Once a week or once a day, or whenever

you feel like it, I'm like, it's so

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easy to get caught up in like, oh, I

have to do this consistently every time.

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No, just whatever you think about it.

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Take some time to journal.

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Or.

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You could leave your phone and

your AirPods at home and go on a

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walk or the next time that you are.

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Driving or doing dishes or doing

laundry when you normally would pop

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in a podcast or you would listen to

some music or listen to an audio book

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or whatever you would normally do.

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Leave your phone and your AirPods in

another room or leave him at home.

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And just do those things in silence.

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Allow yourself to just be alone with

your thoughts and just let yourself.

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Think.

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You can also choose one day a

week to not use any social media.

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That's something that I've

done for a few years now.

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I don't use any social media on Sundays.

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And it was really hard at first.

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And if you need help, like actually.

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Sticking to these things you want to do.

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thE inside out is a program that

will be starting in January.

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It said.

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Eight week program where we

will have workshops every week.

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And if you can't make them live, they

will be available on a private podcast.

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But in that program, I

will really help you too.

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Transform your relationship

with your phone?

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I'll teach you all of like the practical

ways to do that, but more than anything,

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you're going to do the inner work.

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That will impact your ability to actually

keep the phone boundaries that you wanted.

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Set.

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Okay.

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That was a tangent, but

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Back to like practical ways of how you

can more regularly, turn off the noise.

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Something that is really helpful.

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Is.

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Having some questions

in mind to think about.

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When you are alone with your thoughts,

because it can be uncomfortable to

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be alone with your thoughts, having

certain questions to guide your

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thinking can be really powerful.

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So.

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One thing is like, just noticing

what thoughts you're having when

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you are alone with your thoughts.

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And when you turn off the noise.

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Where does your mind wander?

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What things do you think about?

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And.

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Just allow those thoughts

without any judgment.

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Do you tend to feel really

anxious about the future?

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Are there certain problems that are

coming to mind or whatever it is just.

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Allow those thoughts that you're having.

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And then another thing is thinking,

like, what do you want to think about.

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Because what you think about.

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Can change your life in

really powerful ways.

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If you're intentional in the way that you

think when you have these quiet moments.

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It can literally change who you are

and change the projectory of your life.

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Again, that's a really like

deep , but I really believe that.

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And it's something that I am very

intentional about what I think about

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and how I think about certain things.

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And.

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If I find myself starting to

like, really worry about a

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situation or overthink something.

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Some questions that

can help with that are.

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I imagine my future self and I see

my future self as somebody who is.

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Abundant and

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Complete and perfected and.

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Knowledgeable and.

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They have the answers for me, right?

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The perfected future

version of myself and.

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I'll kind of think, like what

advice does my future self have

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for me in my current situation?

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Like how would they.

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See this situation also

kind of similar to that is.

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Asking what perspective can God

provide on my current situation?

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And just thinking about

that, pondering about that.

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Something else that I'll do, if I'm

just alone with my thoughts is I'll pay

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attention to what thoughts I'm having.

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What thoughts are coming to me?

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And then kind of with each thought that

comes ask is this thought serving me so.

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Kind of an example of this, I found that.

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aNytime I was alone with my thoughts,

my mind kind of started to ruminate

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about my son and I was having thoughts.

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Like he's really hard.

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, oh, it's so hard.

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He so hard.

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His personality so hard, his challenges

like his sensitivities so hard.

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And.

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Then I asked this question,

like, is this thought, and

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are these thoughts serving me?

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Are they helping me?

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And sometimes they are like,

sometimes those thoughts can be

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helpful because then you get the

help that you need or whatever it is.

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But I realized that.

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It was just making the situation worse.

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I was just viewing my son.

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As hard.

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And so I was treating him as hard.

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And so it was creating really a lot

of tension in our relationship and I

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was not enjoying life as much more.

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And so just changing that thought

lIke switching my thought to

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focusing on all of the

good qualities that he has.

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Has literally I say that like, he

literally has changed and I don't

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know if he's actually changed or

if just my mind, like my view of

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him has changed, but either way.

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Our relationship's better.

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My life is happier.

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It's not as hard to take

care of him and to teach him.

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Just because I changed how I view him.

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Anyways.

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So that can be something else,

like, as you're having thoughts,

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asking if they're serving you.

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Some other questions that I like to

think about when I'm alone with my

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thoughts is what matters most to me

and how can I better align my life to.

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What matters most to me.

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I think about, am I prioritizing?

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What matters most or what.

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Little shifts or pivots

can I make in my life?

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These are just some questions

that I have recently pondered

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when I have time by myself.

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Alone with my thoughts and I have

the noise turned off, but I'd love

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to hear what you think about when.

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You have the noise turned off.

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Where does your mind go and how

do you use your thoughts to.

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Really create a life that you love.

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If you want to turn off the noise

more and practical ways to actually

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make that happen in your life.

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And.

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To really continually do this forever.

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:

The inside out might be a

really good fit for you.

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:

I'll put the link in the

show notes to sign up again.

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:

It's called the inside out and it's

$97 and it starts January 11th.

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:

And you can check out the link in the

show notes for more details about that.

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:

One last thing that.

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I want to add with this.

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:

Concept of turning off the noise.

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:

I think it's really easy in our day

and age that we have a lot of input.

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We hear a lot of things.

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We see a lot of things, but the

change and the transformation

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:

happens when you take action.

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So.

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Don't just listen to this podcast.

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:

Turn it off.

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:

Turn off the noise.

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:

And really do the work.

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Allow yourself to have some quiet

time with your thoughts and.

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Be intentional with what you think about

when you have the noise turned off.

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:

All right, make it a great week.

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And we are in this together.

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:

We'll chat with you next week

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About the Podcast

Mindful with Media
This is the podcast for entrepreneurial moms who want to grow a meaningful, profitable business without sacrificing their other priorities (like spending time with their kids or getting enough sleep).

Host Alex Fales—business coach, mindset mentor, and mom—shares honest conversations, simple strategies, and powerful mindset shifts to help you and make money doing work you love and grow as a person while you're at it.

Expect solo episodes, authentic chats, and real-life stories that help you blend business strategy with personal growth, so you can build a business that supports your life (not the other way around).

Because you don’t need more hustle.
You need clarity, confidence, and the courage to do business your way.