Episode 50

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Published on:

1st May 2024

50 | Lessons I'm Learning from My Husband's Seizure

This episode is very different than most. In many ways it feels like my life has been turned upside down. I share more about the craziness of this last month along with some lessons I've learned.

Transcript
Speaker:

I've coached nearly 100 women about their

screen time, and here's what I've learned.

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Women actually don't care about their

screen time, they care about those things

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that are impacted by their screen time.

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Their ability to be patient with their

kids, the growth of their business,

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having time to pursue their creative

dreams, their relationship with their

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husband, the inner peace that they feel,

their confidence in themselves, their

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Connection with God, their friendships

not missing out on their kids' childhoods.

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I'm Alex and I'm here to

help you find inner peace.

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Enjoy true fulfillment

and be fully present.

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Welcome to the Mindful with Media Podcast.

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With the weather, getting warmer,

my kids and I have been spending

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more and more time outside.

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At parks and just hanging out

in our yard and it just feels

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so good to get more sunshine.

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We're doing the 1000 hours

outside challenge this year.

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And so.

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We've been going outside almost

every day, the whole year, but.

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It's just nice when you don't

have to bundle up and you can

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just go outside and chill.

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But my kids are playing outside with.

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Our babysitter.

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And I now have a little

bit of time to work and.

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So . This last month has

been crazy for our family.

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And a lot of ways, I feel like my

life has been turned upside down.

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And so I thought it might be nice to.

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One just kind of share a little

bit more about what's been going on

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and give a little life update and.

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Through that.

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Lenz.

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And with that context, just

share some lessons that life

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has been teaching me lately.

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So.

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The first experience.

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Well, I guess.

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Yeah, kind of just to give

background on what's been going

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on and also all kind of Share the

lessons that I've learned as we go.

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So.

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Let's see.

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About a month ago, . So.

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We just have, we have like a

one and a half bathroom and our

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main bathroom with our bath and

shower and everything is upstairs.

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And.

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It's right above our kitchen

and living area downstairs.

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And so.

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Underneath the shower started leaking into

the kitchen and living area downstairs.

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And

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because of that, we ended up

having to have like all of the

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flooring redone in our kitchen.

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And then.

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They found rotted sub floor

underneath the shower.

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And so they ended up having to

take out the whole bathroom.

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And . Put the bath back in

the toilet, back in and.

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New tile and paint and new vanity anyways,

basically redo the whole bathroom.

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So.

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That was.

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An experience.

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In and of itself.

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And.

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During that time when our

house was totally being.

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Fixed both like our bathroom,

our only working bathroom.

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And are the flooring in our kitchen.

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It was so loud and our kids

weren't napping and we didn't

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have anywhere to shower.

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And it was really hard to eat

because they were in our kitchen.

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And so we.

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Realized we should probably not

live here while they were fixing it.

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And so we found an Airbnb really

last minute, we like, it was

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like, I don't know, three in the

afternoon of the day they started.

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And we were like, okay,

this isn't going to work.

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So we found an Airbnb.

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And we were able to find one that

we got to that night at like seven.

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Which felt chaotic because we didn't.

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Really have time to like pack or think

what we were bringing, or I don't know.

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It was just chaotic.

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So we get to the Airbnb is

really close by our house.

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And.

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Okay, let me give some

context for where we're going.

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This is so different than most

of my podcast episodes, but it's

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kind of what's coming today.

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So my.

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Husband

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in February of 2017

was playing basketball.

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And he got a concussion, which ended

up being more than just a concussion.

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And it there was a brain bleed and so

much swelling in the brain that they

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had to do emergency brain surgery.

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And.

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Thought that he wasn't going to

live and that if he did live,

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he wouldn't walk or talk again.

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But he did, it was a

miraculous story of healing.

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And.

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And.

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Many ways.

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Yeah.

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He, he lives a very normal life

where he plays basketball and he

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works and he does all the things.

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But as a result of that, Accident

and that brain surgery and the TBI.

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He has had seizures.

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And there are lots of

different kinds of seizures.

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The kind that he has are tonic

clonic or grand mal seizures.

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And it's like, what you picture

when you think of somebody having

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a seizure where his body convulses.

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And he's had.

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Well, Between the accident and 2017.

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And March of 2020.

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So within that three years,

he had 12 grand mal seizures,

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and then he went four years.

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Seizure-free.

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And then in, at the beginning of

March of this year of 20, 24, he

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had another grand mal seizure.

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And then this is where the I coming

back to where I was in the story.

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So we go to the Airbnb.

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And then the next day my

husband went into work.

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And so three months after he

has a seizure, he can't drive.

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And so his boss had.

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I brought him home and we

were staying at the Airbnb.

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And like, My like meal plan.

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I had totally thrown out the window

because I had left most of our food

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at home and just brought basics.

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So we had like peanut butter

sandwiches for lunch or something..

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Anyways.

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I don't know.

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Okay.

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. So it's like, 6:00 PM whatever.

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And we're just.

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Trying to make it till bedtime.

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And so.

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We.

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Play outside for a little bit as a family.

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And then we come in and we're

going to start getting the kids

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ready for bed at the Airbnb.

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And.

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My husband kind of like grabs his

face and breathe, which he does.

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I would say pretty frequently,

like when he's tired.

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And so I saw that cue and I was

like, okay, like you rest because.

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Tiredness and fatigue are a

huge trigger for his seizures.

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And so I was like, you rest, I got

the kids, I'll put them to bed.

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But he like sat down in like

the little hallway of the Airbnb

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and still like wasn't talking.

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And I was like, okay, like

this happens, I wouldn't say

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frequently, but this is not a.

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Rare thing for him to kind of.

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Feel like he needs to

like arrest immediately.

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And so I like went to go grab something.

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I don't know water or my phone, or maybe

the kids are getting this something.

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I can't really remember.

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And he like, says like, stay

with me, like, don't leave me.

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And so I was like, okay, like this was

a little bit more serious than usual.

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And then I helped him get in position

just in case he had a seizure.

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So laying on his left side.

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And so he was ready.

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And I believe in God.

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And so I said a prayer and

while I was praying, I was.

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Wanting to pray for him

to not have the seizure.

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That's what I was kind

of planning on praying.

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But.

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I, I felt like I shouldn't pray for that.

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And instead I felt like

I should pray for him to.

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For us to be strengthened

and for him to be okay.

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So at that point during the

prayer, then I kind of felt like,

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okay, the seizure is coming.

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We're not going to stop it.

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And so.

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Then he starts.

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Convulsing and seizing.

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And, and my kids B who's three and Ms.

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E who's one and a half.

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They're like right there.

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And I'm trying to tell.

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My three-year-old to go get a.

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A toy for my one and a half year old.

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So that there'll be

occupied while he's seizing.

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And they're like asking,

like, why is daddy doing that?

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And one thing that.

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I, since I've told people this story that.

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It wasn't funny initially, but

now I can see how funny this is.

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So when Matt was seizing, his foot was

right by like one of those door stoppers.

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And so he kept like banging it.

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every time you would see.

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And it just kind of like.

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That was our reality.

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Anyways.

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So.

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We get them through the seizure and it's

not longer than five minutes because

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if it's longer than five minutes, then

that's when we need to get medical help.

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But if it's shorter than five

minutes, then we're totally fine.

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So the kids are kind of starting to

climb over mat and come over to me and.

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I am realizing K like, oh

yeah, I had my watch on.

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And so I'm trying to use my watch to

call somebody to get some help, but

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it was like almost out of battery.

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So it wasn't working.

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And so I asked my three-year-old

to go find my phone.

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Thankfully, he finds it really quickly.

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It brings it to me.

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And.

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I call one of our church

leaders and he didn't answer.

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And so then I'm kind of like,

Racing through mine, like K,

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who can get here really quickly.

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Cause we're not in our house.

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We're not in our normal neighborhood.

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I'll tell.

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I would just call a neighbor or something.

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And so.

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Then I hear people walking

upstairs and I remember that.

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We are.

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In the basement of an Airbnb,

you know, like this is the

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Airbnb was somebody's basement.

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And so I go on the

Airbnb app and I message.

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And I just say, can you send

somebody down the stairs to help?

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My husband just had a seizure?

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Don't call 9 1 1 and they were

down within, I don't know.

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10 seconds, 20 seconds.

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It was fast.

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How fast they got there

from me sending the message.

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And.

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The mom who I had never met.

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Immediately.

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You know, I told my kids, she safe, you

go with her, she's going to help you.

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She took my kids and.

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Keep them fruit snacks.

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And I think they got to watch.

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The show, which we rarely watch shows

that was really fun and exciting for them.

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And.

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Just, she was so good to my kids.

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And it's so interesting because.

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We had.

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Our first son

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we got pregnant right away after we

got married and that was planned.

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And then when he was nine months

old, we felt really strongly

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like we should have another baby.

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And I was not in a great place mentally

and by not a great place, like I

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was in a really bad place mentally.

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It did not make sense.

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Oh, and I also had some

like horror of this horrible

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infection after my first son.

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And so like physically, mentally,

emotionally, it did not make

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sense to have another baby, but.

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We just really felt like we

should have another baby.

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And so.

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We did.

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And so our kids are 18 months apart,

which is so fun in so many ways.

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And of course it comes with its

challenges, but I, I really do love

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their age gap, but it's been really

cool throughout this experience.

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How Matt.

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And I just keep saying to each

other, like our kids have needed

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each other through this, like.

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We've had to have a lot of

people babysit them and watch

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them more than I would prefer.

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And I'm just so grateful that

they have each other, and they're

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really a good pair because.

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My, my daughter, she who's one and a half.

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She's a lot more.

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Brave and less anxious.

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And so she'll go confidently.

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I mean, not all the time, but most

of the time she'll be confident in.

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Going to people or.

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Finding the new toys at

people's houses or whatever.

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And.

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My son, when she goes, then

he's okay to go with her.

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And he's very verbal and

has always been very verbal.

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And so he can communicate.

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Great.

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For both of them.

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And that's just been, it's just

been such a sweet thing in such a.

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Blessing and to be able

to look back and see.

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At least this is one reason why we

felt like we needed to have them.

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As close together as we did.

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But anyways the dad, the

husband, he stayed with me

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until Matt was conscious again.

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And.

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Aye.

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Think about, and I learn a lot

about our nervous systems and

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how our nervous systems work.

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And this experience just made me

so grateful for my nervous system.

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Where I think.

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In some ways, like our nervous

system kind of gets a bad rap.

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But.

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I think it's so powerful.

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Two.

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Learn to work with your nervous system.

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Like.

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When you are safe and things are okay, you

know, with your kids, having a tantrum or

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something like that, and you, your body.

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Might react into fight or flight

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and then teaching your body know

things you're actually safe.

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You're actually okay.

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You don't need to be so intense

or scream or whatever it is.

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I think it was in this case of.

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My husband having the seizure.,

I feel like I was able to manage.

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The situation.

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Because.

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My body was ready, ready to.

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To manage it anyways.

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So I was very grateful

for my nervous system.

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So then what happened next?

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Oh, yeah.

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So then.

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So my kids are still with the mom and.

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The that.

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Like the host, the Airbnb host the mom.

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And.

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The Airbnb host dad was with me.

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Waiting for Matt to become cautious again.

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And I don't know if I already

mentioned this or not, but the dad.

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Has actually had grand mal

seizures when he was a lot younger.

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And so he's very familiar with.

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What to do and the situation, which

ended up being a huge blessing, but he.

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W immediately when Matt.

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I came to and was

conscious again, he just.

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Oh, Oh, just in so much pain and.

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He's pretty tough guy.

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I don't know.

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Like he can handle a lot of pain.

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And so that was immediately

concerning to me.

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And.

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He had hurt his back.

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While he was seizing.

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And so we ended up taking him to the ER.

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For a few different reasons, but he

could not sleep or move or anything.

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And that's one of the biggest things

you need to do after you have a seizure

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is sleep to let your body recover.

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And so we took him to the ER.

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And.

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You know, it's, it's kind

of just this like yeah.

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Or just on go-time like, and so.

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My kids were not in bed yet because

we were hadn't put them to bed yet.

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And.

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I'm trying to figure out, like, should I.

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You know, call a family member or

friend to come be with my kids.

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So I can take that to the ER or I'm just

kind of trying to figure things out.

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And what ended up happening

is we put our kids to bed.

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At the Airbnb and the hosts.

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I said we can listen for them, you

know, help them if they get up and.

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You know, in this day and age,

You do have to be careful.

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And there are.

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Evil people with bad

intentions and things happen.

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And.

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Yeah, you do have to be careful,

but it was in this moment

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that I just had to choose.

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Like I can either choose.

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To trust that people are good and

choose to believe that these people are

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like in trust my kids to be with them.

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Or not.

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And I, in that moment chose to

believe in the goodness of the world.

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And I'm so grateful I did because I put

my kids to bed at their BNB, took mat.

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We didn't get back until

like two in the morning.

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And when I got back.

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The, the mom was cuddling with

my three-year-old on the couch.

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He had woken up and was having

a hard time sleeping and.

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Just like.

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She was so sweet with him and

so good to him, even at two

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in the morning for a stranger.

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And I just.

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That's something that I want to keep

choosing to believe that of course.

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Be smart about things and.

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You know, don't be dumb, but.

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In this day and age,

when you hear of all the.

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The bad things that happened.

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Like I want to share more of the

good things that happen and where

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you can trust people and where

there are good people in the world.

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And.

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I don't know, I just think

relying on each other more.

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So that was a really beautiful

experience to have a stranger

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be so sweet and good to my son.

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And stay up until two in

the morning to help us.

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I feel like through all of this.

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Lesson that I keep learning over

and over and over and over is.

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The importance and.

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The beautiful things that

happen when you choose to.

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Accept help.

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And not only accept help,

but to ask for help.

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That next step is even harder for me.

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You know, when people offer to do

things, it's, it can be hard to say yes.

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But.

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It's even harder to reach out to somebody

and say, can you, can you do this?

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But it's been really beautiful.

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I could.

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Literally received hundreds of messages of

people praying for us or offering to bring

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a meal or offering to watch our kids.

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And.

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It's been very humbling.

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I think, to be in a place where

we've really needed that help and.

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Yeah, we've.

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Had to say yes.

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And it's been really beautiful.

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As I've opened up more and shared things,

how the connections I've made both with

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people that I'm already close with, how

those connections have become deeper,

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but also with strangers, I've had.

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Yeah, literally strangers

open up more about.

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Things that they've gone through and how,

because they've gone through hard things.

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And people help them them.

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They want to pay it forward and help us.

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And it's, it's really been beautiful.

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I've had.

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I wasn't feeling well at one

point and was laid on my couch

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for two days straight and had.

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Some neighbors come and clean my

house while I just laid there.

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And it was very humbling to watch that.

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And it was so helpful because our

house was a little bit disastrous

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with everything going on.

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So, I guess kind of like, because

I want to remember this story

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and the timeline of things.

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So.

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We moved.

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We went to the first

Airbnb on Tuesday night.

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Wednesday night, about

6 45 was the seizure.

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Let me go to the ER that night and then.

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Thursday.

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We were exhausted.

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Because we'd been up at the ER all night.

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And so that day my mom came down

and watched my kids for a couple

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hours so that I could sleep.

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And.

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That sister came to take care of him.

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And then Matt's mom.

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Got there late Thursday night.

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Well, it was probably not that late, but

it was like 9:00 PM, which feels late

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for me because I go to bed so early.

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But.

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That was really nice.

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She drove from Wyoming.

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And then.

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So Matt and I had been planning on

going on a getaway that weekend.

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So like my parents were already going to

take our kids from Friday through Sunday.

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And so we did not go on our getaway.

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Well, I guess we, you

could say my mother-in-law.

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I'm saying you didn't know that

you were going to be going on a

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getaway with your mother-in-law.

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Anyways.

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Our house was not ready.

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We thought we'd be able

to move back in on Friday.

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It wasn't ready.

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So, and the Airbnb that

we were in already had.

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It was already booked out for the weekend.

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So we had to find a different Airbnb.

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Moves to a different Airbnb.

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My mom took my kids.

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So it's just Matt, my

mother-in-law and myself.

438

:

That weekend.

439

:

And that was really nice because my

life had felt so physically intense

440

:

because I was just, you know, helping

the kids, helping that, moving things,

441

:

the house, just constant physical stuff.

442

:

That.

443

:

It was nice to have some time to myself.

444

:

So my brother-in-law

could take care of Matt.

445

:

My mom had my kids and just to.

446

:

Kind of process and.

447

:

Honestly, I think I'm still processing

because things have been so.

448

:

Crazy in a lot of ways.

449

:

But.

450

:

That weekend, I was able to process and.

451

:

Have some really beautiful experiences.

452

:

Connecting with God.

453

:

I.

454

:

I've been the week before and kind

of the weeks before I'd just been

455

:

questioning a lot of things about.

456

:

Truth and God, and I just had

some really powerful experiences.

457

:

On that Sunday, I went to

church by myself and just.

458

:

Feeling that.

459

:

I believe in Jesus Christ and

I believe that Jesus Christ.

460

:

Loves me.

461

:

And the way that I connect with

him is through other people and

462

:

just seeing so many people that

I knew and that I didn't know.

463

:

Come and reach out to come help

us was a really beautiful thing.

464

:

So then.

465

:

I go back and pick up my

kids on Sunday afternoon.

466

:

And we were still at the Airbnb.

467

:

We had to book that one out longer.

468

:

Cause our house still wasn't done.

469

:

So you have the kids back.

470

:

Okay.

471

:

I think it was that deck state that.

472

:

Monday or Tuesday.

473

:

When.

474

:

My kids weren't sleeping

well at the Airbnb.

475

:

They were up at like five in the

morning and they weren't eating well.

476

:

And I was exhausted and it

was, it was very intense.

477

:

It just felt very intense.

478

:

And I just.

479

:

I remember.

480

:

Being so just kind of like mad.

481

:

I don't know if mad is the right

word, but just grumpy and grumpy.

482

:

I think that's probably a good word.

483

:

I was just grumpy about everything.

484

:

And I had this realization

realization of like, Alex, this

485

:

is what you teach people like.

486

:

This is exactly the kind of

work that you've been doing with

487

:

your clients and coaching calls.

488

:

Is your you're living in a victim mindset.

489

:

You are.

490

:

Allowing this situation to.

491

:

Get to, you know, and so I

had a really good like moment.

492

:

And this is where I think.

493

:

People get mixed up with this concept.

494

:

I think it's so easy.

495

:

For people to think.

496

:

Okay.

497

:

Like, Well, don't be a victim.

498

:

So just be okay with everything.

499

:

And that's not, that's not what it is.

500

:

It's.

501

:

The grumpiness was like covering up

the deeper emotions that I was feeling.

502

:

And so once I like got to the root

of what I was actually feeling,

503

:

then I could feel those things.

504

:

I was feeling tired.

505

:

I was exhausted physically.

506

:

I was feeling.

507

:

Scared.

508

:

I felt really nervous about.

509

:

My husband's health about what

this meant for our, our future.

510

:

About, you know, His work situation about.

511

:

Having more kids.

512

:

, and within all that,

there's lots of emotions of.

513

:

Kind of grieving what I thought

our life would look like.

514

:

And once I just got deeper and deeper on

each of these things and just felt those

515

:

feelings, like literally in my body.

516

:

Like sometimes I just like put my hand on

my chest when it felt heavy or like, Put

517

:

my hand on my head when it just felt like.

518

:

Yeah.

519

:

Heavy or full.

520

:

And, you know, loosen the shoulders,

just like a long myself to feel all these

521

:

really hard things that were going on.

522

:

I immediately came out of that.

523

:

That grumpiness.

524

:

I wasn't so grumpy anymore.

525

:

And so.

526

:

Another lesson that I'm learning on

an even deeper level is allowing those

527

:

emotions, identifying those emotions

when you're snappier, when you're.

528

:

Frustrated or grumpy or angry or whatever

it is, those secondary emotions, like,

529

:

just pause and ask, ask yourself, like,

what am I feeling what's what's going

530

:

on for me and allow that, allow yourself

to feel that and feel that it's hard.

531

:

And the ones I

532

:

felt that then I was able to ask myself

K, like, what do I need right now?

533

:

And what do I need?

534

:

Long-term.

535

:

And so then.

536

:

I was like, I really need a nap.

537

:

So then I asked for somebody to

watch my kids so I could take a nap

538

:

and just little things like that.

539

:

Like.

540

:

I could actually get the help I needed.

541

:

When I.

542

:

Allowed those emotions and those feelings.

543

:

Which comes back to that point

earlier of asking for help is so

544

:

hard and it's such a beautiful thing.

545

:

Okay.

546

:

Another lesson that I've learned

through all of this is letting go

547

:

of things that I can't control.

548

:

So.

549

:

Too.

550

:

Experiences specifically

that are, that I will share.

551

:

So.

552

:

Okay.

553

:

Timeline again.

554

:

So Tuesday, the first

Tuesday we go to the Airbnb.

555

:

Wednesday seizure.

556

:

Friday, the new Airbnb.

557

:

And then the following Tuesday,

we moved back into our house.

558

:

Then Wednesday.

559

:

Oh.

560

:

And.

561

:

Matt's mom left Wednesday morning.

562

:

So then we're on our own.

563

:

We moved back to her house,

but it was still construction

564

:

was going on for like another.

565

:

Two weeks.

566

:

I think maybe we could do,

but it wasn't as intense.

567

:

So that Wednesday.

568

:

I took Matt to see his neurologist.

569

:

And.

570

:

That was an experience in and of itself,

but the neurologist kept saying like,

571

:

if you can't get the seizures under

control, this is very life-threatening.

572

:

I just kept seeing.

573

:

I hate to be negative, but

this is very life-threatening.

574

:

So that.

575

:

Felt heavy when it already

felt like a heavy thing, but.

576

:

It was very heavy to

hear that over and over.

577

:

And.

578

:

He just kept emphasizing how

important it is for Matt to get

579

:

eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

580

:

And so we're, we're very

conscious about our sleep.

581

:

We, we always have been, but.

582

:

Uninterrupted sleep.

583

:

Feels and felt impossible

because our three-year-old has

584

:

always struggled with sleeping.

585

:

And now I felt like I have to.

586

:

Like make my child sleep or

my husband is going to die.

587

:

That's what I left that

doctor's appointment feeling.

588

:

And that felt so heavy.

589

:

And so that night.

590

:

Aye.

591

:

Oh, and also like, especially

initially post seizure.

592

:

When the kids would scream and be crazy.

593

:

And whenever it was like chaos,

you know, like those chaotic

594

:

moments that happened with kids.

595

:

That was like a huge trigger Mount

would have an aura, which is like the.

596

:

The.

597

:

Like it's when he knows a seizure

is coming, that's what an aura is.

598

:

He kind of just feels off and

he can feel the seizure coming.

599

:

He was having those, anytime

the kids were chaotic.

600

:

And so I was like, okay, I

have to make my kids like.

601

:

B.

602

:

Not kids, like just be like still

and quiet and not crazy and not have

603

:

tantrums and sleep through the night.

604

:

And I was feeling very overwhelmed.

605

:

So that night, that Wednesday.

606

:

Aye.

607

:

Went on a walk after the kids

went to bed, which I, at the, up

608

:

until that point I hadn't left.

609

:

Matt alone with the kids,

even if they were asleep.

610

:

So that felt a little nerve wracking,

but I knew I needed to do it.

611

:

And I just sobbed.

612

:

I called my mom, talked with

her for a little bit and then.

613

:

Just sobbed some more and it

was, I just kind of let it all

614

:

out, live all the tears out of.

615

:

Everything that was going on.

616

:

And..

617

:

In that conversation with my mom,

she, she just reminded me that like,

618

:

Alex, you can't control everything.

619

:

These are things that are

outside of your control.

620

:

You can't make your kids sleep.

621

:

You can't make Matt not

have any more seizures.

622

:

You can't.

623

:

Make your kids.

624

:

Not be crazy.

625

:

Like yeah.

626

:

Other things you can do to influence

it, but you can't control those things.

627

:

And once I remembered that.

628

:

That was so freeing for me that.

629

:

Just to surrender.

630

:

And.

631

:

With surrendering, the control

of things I couldn't control.

632

:

It also is just this acceptance of like

what's going to happen is going to happen.

633

:

And not that we are.

634

:

Just give up and don't do anything.

635

:

Like, of course we're still

working on things and trying

636

:

to figure things out, but.

637

:

Letting go of that control felt so good.

638

:

And now I, I actively do that.

639

:

If I start.

640

:

Stressing or feeling any sort

of like panic about things.

641

:

I asked myself.

642

:

Okay.

643

:

What.

644

:

What am I.

645

:

Worried about.

646

:

Is it something that I can can control?

647

:

Is it something that I can influence?

648

:

And if not, what can I control?

649

:

And that has felt so much better.

650

:

And I think that applies

to all aspects of life.

651

:

So with the unknown of Matt's seizures,

and we're also trying to figure out.

652

:

Work.

653

:

And get accommodations for him for work.

654

:

And there spent a lot

of drama around that.

655

:

And.

656

:

Matt's capacity right now is very,

very, very limited, like his energy and

657

:

just what he can do is very limited in.

658

:

If he does too much, then

that triggers a seizure.

659

:

And so because of that our new reality is.

660

:

Aye.

661

:

Not only the primary caregiver.

662

:

For most of the day, but.

663

:

All of the day and all the night.

664

:

And

665

:

and not only the primary caregiver,

but you know, taking care of the

666

:

home and also helping figure out.

667

:

Nuts.

668

:

Situation.

669

:

And she's been a lot on me even, just

physically, but also emotionally.

670

:

And.

671

:

I've had a lot of people

reach out, willing to help.

672

:

And something that a friend

mentioned to me, that's.

673

:

Really helped me is.

674

:

Just this idea that.

675

:

When people reach out and offer to

help, or even if I reach out and ask

676

:

for help, I often will say, I'm trusting

you that you'll let me know if this

677

:

is too much for you and really just

678

:

trusting people to set their boundaries.

679

:

Because I think in the past, I've

tried to gauge what other people

680

:

are capable of doing, whether that's

too much for them physically or

681

:

emotionally, or for whatever reason.

682

:

And of course, I'm always going

to do that to some degree.

683

:

I think that's.

684

:

Like just social norms, but.

685

:

But I've had to let go of that more

and just trust people that they.

686

:

They won't.

687

:

Do too much that they'll

give what they can offer.

688

:

And then they'll, they'll say if

it's too much or if they can't.

689

:

And so I think that's been.

690

:

Another lesson that I'm

learning in all of this.

691

:

And then the last thing

that I'll say this, I could.

692

:

Talk about this all day.

693

:

I've been learning a lot, but the last

thing that's coming to mind right now is.

694

:

Every new season.

695

:

So often that follows like the

seasons of the year with summer

696

:

and fall and winter spring.

697

:

But especially like at the

beginning of the summer and the

698

:

beginning of the school year.

699

:

My schedule just kind of

shifts and changes, which is.

700

:

Kind of funny because I don't

have any kids in school.

701

:

And so we don't.

702

:

Really follow the school schedule,

but because our babysitter

703

:

she's in middle school and then.

704

:

Some of our friend groups kind

of follow the school calendar.

705

:

So anyways, At the beginning

of every season, I.

706

:

I've always done this, but especially

now, this is really important

707

:

is I kind of reevaluate my life.

708

:

So that's when I'll just

write down everything.

709

:

That.

710

:

I want to be doing, or I am doing.

711

:

In all aspects of my life.

712

:

So in my business, for myself

personally, for my housework for my home.

713

:

And then also like with my

husband and with my kids.

714

:

And.

715

:

I'll just kind of take a step back and.

716

:

Make sure that I'm prioritizing the

right things and shift things around.

717

:

I always make shifts and changes

and prioritize other things.

718

:

And then I am able to.

719

:

Kind of create a new system

and routine and schedule two.

720

:

Make sure that I'm

prioritizing the right things.

721

:

And so that I can let go of.

722

:

All of the busy-ness in my brain that

comes when you're like, should I do this?

723

:

Should I do that?

724

:

Should I.

725

:

How should I spend my time?

726

:

You know, what's the best use of my time.

727

:

It's nice to just do it once per season.

728

:

And then you can just.

729

:

I focus and just, it really

helps me to be more present.

730

:

And so.

731

:

I'm I'm working on mine right now,

kind of re re prioritizing my life.

732

:

And re-evaluating because my systems

that were working before Matt's most

733

:

recent seizure aren't working anymore,

because I don't have the support and

734

:

help that it did in the evenings or.

735

:

Things like that.

736

:

So, I don't know if that's a lesson

that I've learned, but just, just

737

:

how much it matters to me to be.

738

:

Spending my time.

739

:

Aligned with what's most important to

me and with what really matters and.

740

:

And with all of this, like,

it was so funny because.

741

:

This was right before mats.

742

:

Like seizure at the beginning of

March, I had outlined a post I'd like

743

:

outlined all my content for the week.

744

:

And I'd outlined to post about.

745

:

How.

746

:

When I feel peace and happiness,

like I used to think it would come

747

:

from my circumstances, but just

realizing that I can feel peace

748

:

and happiness in any circumstance.

749

:

And.

750

:

I think that's what I'll end

with today that I, and you really

751

:

can feel peace and happiness and

joy in any circumstance that.

752

:

My life is really up in the air right now.

753

:

There's a lot of uncertainty

and unknowns and.

754

:

Lack of systems and lack of

routines, which I, I thrive on.

755

:

And in all of that, I can feel.

756

:

That deep peace and that deep.

757

:

Even just the fun joy of

life, too, in all of this.

758

:

And I know this podcast episode was

really different than most of my episodes.

759

:

For better or for worse?

760

:

I don't know.

761

:

Let me know your thoughts.

762

:

If you like this style

more just kind of chatting

763

:

But the other thing I'll say with all

this, like, Don't hesitate to reach out.

764

:

I'm always happy to.

765

:

Talk about these things, whether it's.

766

:

Being.

767

:

A single mom.

768

:

I mean, I'm not a single mom, but it

kind of feels like that right now.

769

:

Or Yeah.

770

:

Being the solo caregiver

or whether it's you have.

771

:

Health challenges yourself, or

a family member with health

772

:

challenges or whatever it is.

773

:

I am always happy to chat and

love to connect on these things.

774

:

That we're going through

that make us human.

775

:

So.

776

:

I'm going to always reach

out and we can chat.

777

:

Okay, we'll talk to you later.

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About the Podcast

Mindful with Media
This is the podcast for entrepreneurial moms who want to grow a meaningful, profitable business without sacrificing their other priorities (like spending time with their kids or getting enough sleep).

Host Alex Fales—business coach, mindset mentor, and mom—shares honest conversations, simple strategies, and powerful mindset shifts to help you and make money doing work you love and grow as a person while you're at it.

Expect solo episodes, authentic chats, and real-life stories that help you blend business strategy with personal growth, so you can build a business that supports your life (not the other way around).

Because you don’t need more hustle.
You need clarity, confidence, and the courage to do business your way.