51 | 5 Ways to Feel Relaxed While Working Hard

Speaker: 00:00:02

I've coached nearly 100 women about their

screen time, and here's what I've learned.

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Women actually don't care about their

screen time, they care about those things

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that are impacted by their screen time.

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Their ability to be patient with their

kids, the growth of their business,

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: 00:00:20

having time to pursue their creative

dreams, their relationship with their

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: 00:00:24

husband, the inner peace that they feel,

their confidence in themselves, their

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Connection with God, their friendships

not missing out on their kids' childhoods.

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I'm Alex and I'm here to

help you find inner peace.

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Enjoy true fulfillment

and be fully present.

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Welcome to the Mindful with Media Podcast.

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Hi.

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Welcome back.

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My work.

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Right now has been so interesting.

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Typically I work.

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About an hour.

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A day during nap time.

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And then.

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Two evenings a week.

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And then we have a babysitter

that comes for four hours a week.

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So usually I work like.

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Between 10 to 12 hours a week.

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But with everything that's going

on in our life, which you can

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listen to last week's episode.

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To hear more about that.

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And then my.

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One and a half year old, my little

girl has been on a nap strike, so

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she hasn't napped in two weeks.

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And.

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Like, so my evenings

look really different.

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My.

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I don't have enough times anymore.

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And then I do still have my

babysitter coming most of the time.

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Anyways.

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Hold that to be said.

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My work time has been very limited.

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So I'm always grateful when I get

a chance to work a little bit.

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And my son came in from quiet time to

let me know that he needs to go potty.

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So.

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We're back again.

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Well, it's really interesting because.

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Before my life was like this.

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When I still had more time to work,

I started working on a product about.

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It's called a mom's guide to

building a simple business.

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So you know, which tasks to

do and which tasks not to do.

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And I'll talk more about that later, but.

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It's just interesting that it seems

like whenever I offer something, whether

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that's a product or like a certain

coaching experience or a group program.

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It seems like whatever I

am promoting and teaching.

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Then that seems to happen in my life.

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Even more like I get to

practice that even more.

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But I'm working on a really, really.

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Big.

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The thing coming soon that I, I

can't share too much about yet, but.

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As I've been.

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Working on that.

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I.

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Created like a vibe board for it.

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And.

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Like shared a few different pictures

of this like cute little like

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cottage home with some green grass.

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And I shared a picture of like a.

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Somebody running in nature.

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And I shared a picture of, I think,

like a little boy on a tire swing.

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Somebody reading in like wild flowers.

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So I shared a bunch of these

pictures and then I asked people,

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I asked you guys on Instagram.

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Two.

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Comment, one word, to describe the

vibe of these pictures to help me as

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I'm creating this, this thing for you.

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And I loved, loved, loved the.

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The words that people shared, but someone

actually coach Carrie, Carrie, Joe

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Bradley, who she's actually a running

coach, I've had her on my podcast.

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But she shared about, oh,

I think she commented like.

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Relaxed was the word

that came to her mind.

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But.

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That except for the picture of

running, but then she said, but

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running can also be relaxed.

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And so that's what inspired this episode.

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And today we're going to be talking about.

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How to work hard.

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Like really work hard

while feeling relaxed.

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And I have a lot of thoughts on this, so.

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I'm just going to be sharing.

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Five things to help you to feel relaxed.

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While working hard or vice versa, how

to work hard while feeling relaxed.

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It goes both ways.

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So the very first thing is.

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Two.

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Figure out what you want.

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What you personally want and,

and take time to, to dream and.

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To think about it.

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I think it's so.

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So easy to just go.

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About our lives that.

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We don't even.

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Stop to think.

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About like, What do.

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We want.

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Individually and.

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It.

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Reminds me when.

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I was in high school.

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I had a friend who.

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Who.

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She is very.

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Sorry.

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Like the typical discipline.

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Upland person

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and her mom was this way, too.

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Just very much.

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Like.

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Worked.

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Very hard, like.

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Did very well.

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In school and.

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And was . Very.

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Advanced.

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Musically and did like all.

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All these amazing.

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Musical things.

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And.

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Yeah.

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Just seemed like.

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She could rarely.

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Really do.

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I do things.

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Because she had to.

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To do something.

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First, like, cause he had to.

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To finish, practicing.

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First.

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First or was doing.

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Some food of.

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The prep or some sort of.

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Class I don't know.

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It seems like she's a very hard worker.

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And.

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I just remember in high school.

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I think that was my first time.

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Realizing, like, I don't

actually want that life, like.

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I ran cross country.

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I was, you know, Working hard that way.

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And I.

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Got very good grades at a 4.0.

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And I did very well in the act

and I was prepping for college and

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like, I felt like I was working hard

from like a, a worldly standpoint.

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I was working hard and doing well

and I was also playing violin too.

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Like, but I, I like playing and , , I

didn't want to spend all my time

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practicing or spend all my time.

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I don't know.

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That was the first time I realized

there's value in not always being a go

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getter and not always just like being

in the hustle and the grind, I guess.

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And a few episodes back.

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I talk about the continuum of healthy

balance and, and I think that applies

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to this too, where you know, having

fun and playing and balancing that with.

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Working hard and being in the grind,

like I really do think there's.

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A range of healthy.

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There's not just one right way to do this.

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So.

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Coming back to that first point

of figuring out what you want.

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And I feel like that's also

applied to my business.

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So I started my business

officially in January of: 2023

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And.

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When I first started on this

journey of being an entrepreneur.

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Like, there are so many business experts

out there and Instagram experts and

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email experts and podcast experts.

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And they're just like all

these gurus in this world.

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And I found that

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Most, I won't say all, but I would

say almost all of the business

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mentors that I've come across.

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Are pretty intense about their business.

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And even when they're like advertising,

Like, you know, Grow your business

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so that you can make money while

you're hiking or whatever it is like.

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It still has just felt more intense

than I like to be about my business.

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Like I.

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I love having my business.

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It's so fulfilling for me.

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And I love having something that's

separate from caregiving that.

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Fills me up in a different

way that caregiving doesn't

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and I love having extra money.

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It's really fun to make.

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To make extra money and, and be able

to do fun things with that money.

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And I love.

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What I do.

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Like, I feel so passionate and really.

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Called in this season to be.

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Helping young moms in this way.

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And I'm kind of niching down

even more to business owners.

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I love it.

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Like.

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I love what I do and it's so good.

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I love my business.

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But.

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We have a babysitter come.

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And right now she comes four hours a week.

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And.

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I kind of got to a point where I

was like, Ready to level up in.

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My business and spending more.

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Time on my business.

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And so.

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I thought about, you know, having

her work more hours or getting

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another babysitter to supplement.

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So I could like spend

more time on new business.

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More than.

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Than just.

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Four hours a week or.

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10 hours a week when my.

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My kids actually nap.

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But when.

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I like really took a step.

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Step back.

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I was.

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Like.

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I don't.

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Want.

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To spend more time.

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I'm on a business like.

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I like.

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Like working.

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10 hours, max.

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Max on my business.

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And I love.

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Love.

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Love just sitting.

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Sitting outside.

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In the sunshine reading books

while my kids play in our yard.

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We go to the park.

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Every morning.

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And for hours, we'll just.

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Talk with friends and play and just.

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Have fun.

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And I love having time for that.

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And I love.

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I don't know, like I don't want

to spend more time on my business.

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I, I feel like I want to spend more

than 10 hours a week on my business.

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Maybe that'll change in the future,

but for the last, what year and

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a half, like that's as much as I

wanted to spend on my business.

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And so.

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I've had to like really be firm on that

because sometimes I'll see like promotions

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for things or ideas of ways to do things.

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And I'm like, well, if I had

more time, like I could totally.

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Do some more stuff in my business,

that would be really fun, but I

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have decided that I don't want that.

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And so that's one way I think

that I am able to work hard.

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And have lots of time to relax, and those

are separate things, but I'm also going to

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talk later about like the actual working

hard and feeling relaxed at the same time.

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But I do think that's

one part of it is having.

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Like figuring out what you want.

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And.

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Then also like under this first point

of taking the time to figure out what

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you personally want so that you can.

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Work hard and feel relaxed.

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Is

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, so like,

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. I had to work through so much

mentally to get to a place where

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I was okay with hiring somebody,

to watch my kids regularly.

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And yeah, I had so much

drama in my mind around that.

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And.

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nobody in my family had

ever done that before.

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No one in my friend group had done that.

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And.

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I like grew up.

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Hearing and learning the value

of like stay-at-home moms

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were praised in so many ways.

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And so I really wanted to

be a stay-at-home mom and.

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Just like, I wanted to be

the one to raise my kids.

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And I had a lot of like very

intense ideas on how my kids

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should be treated and raised.

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And.

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Anyways.

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I still believe a lot

of those things, but.

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When I took a step back and realized,

oh, and this was also like, I think it

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was around this time when I was trying

to decide whether or not I was going to

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hire somebody to regularly watch my kids.

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I saw some posts about like, I

have this many kids and I have my

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business and I don't have any help.

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Like I don't, I don't have a nanny.

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I don't have daycare.

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And like, It kind of like I do it all.

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And.

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It like really.

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Rocked me for a minute of like, well,

like I am less than because I can't do

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it all and I don't want to do it all.

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I don't want to like,

try to manage this all.

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Like, I want some dedicated time to.

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Just focus on my business

and to have my kids.

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Like loved and cared for

and, and played with.

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And, and that's what I've also realized.

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Like for some reason, it is

really important to me that.

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I don't use screens all the

time as a babysitter, like.

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Do my kids have screens.

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Occasionally 100%.

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Like I am not against screens themselves,

but I just didn't like the idea of

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Using the screens to the babysitter.

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Like I would prefer to have

somebody come watch my kids.

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Anyways.

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Where was he getting with that?

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Oh, I think, yeah, just like when I

realized that I would prefer somebody

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else to watch my kids so that I can focus.

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Full-time.

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For her as a week on my business.

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And so that I don't have

to stay up late at night.

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Like I really.

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It's not worth it to me.

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I could probably count on one hand.

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The times I've stayed up past 10 o'clock

to work on something in my business.

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Like.

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I, I like to go to bed at nine and I don't

like to stay up late working on things or.

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Interrupting my sleep

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so that's a priority for me.

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And so that's a huge focus for me and

that doesn't have to be for you, but

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if you can just like, take a step back

and ask like, okay, what matters to me?

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Like.

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Do I care about, being with my

kids for most of the time or.

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They're all the time.

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Maybe you don't want a

babysitter or do I care?

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About.

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Getting enough sleep or do

I care about having time to

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exercise or do I care about.

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Having a lot of time to work on your

business or having your business.

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At a certain level or like, I don't

know, just figuring out like what

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matters to you and what you want.

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Then it's so much easier to move

forward with that and just feel that.

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Relaxation within your

decisions and feel that.

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That calm.

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Yeah.

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Without like, oh, should I be doing this?

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Should I be doing that?

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Should I try to be doing everything?

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You know, just like make

up your mind and go for it.

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And I'll also say within this, like

figuring out what fills you up, both

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in your business and you're like how

you spend your time with your kids.

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With your house, like.

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What cleanliness level is like most.

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Satisfying for you and what cleanliness

level is worth the effort, you know,

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maybe hiring house cleaners, but

just figuring out what you want.

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Can have such a huge impact.

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On your ability to.

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Work hard And feel relaxed.

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Okay.

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The.

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Second thing that can help you to feel

relaxed while working hard is to let

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go of things that you can't control.

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And so for example, my daughter's

nap, like I said, she hasn't been

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napping for the last two weeks.

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And.

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I could.

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Worry and stress and panic about how I'm

not getting to anything done in my house.

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And I'm not getting anything

done in my business.

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And just panic and stress

and try to like, control that.

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And that.

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Feels like you're working hard.

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I think.

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Worrying and stressing can

feel like you're working hard.

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But it's actually not doing

anything or helping anything.

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And so I can just embrace that.

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Okay.

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Like I can try to influence and help

my daughter to sleep in her crib

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again, so I can have some time to work.

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But if she's not going to, I'm

just going to let go of that.

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And embrace that.

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This is our reality.

364

: 00:15:10

And have fun with it.

365

: 00:15:12

We've been to lots more

parks lately because we were.

366

: 00:15:17

Have more time.

367

: 00:15:17

And so we go to parks in the afternoon.

368

: 00:15:19

Instead of napping.

369

: 00:15:21

And I'm not working.

370

: 00:15:22

On my business.

371

: 00:15:23

And said I'm embracing,

embracing what is, I don't know.

372

: 00:15:26

I think just letting go of

things you can't control.

373

: 00:15:29

I think another example of this.

374

: 00:15:30

So I shared.

375

: 00:15:32

A little about this last week with what's

been going on with my husband and we're

376

: 00:15:37

trying to get an accommodation for him

to work from home full-time instead of

377

: 00:15:41

just hybrid, because when he goes into

the office, that seems to be what's

378

: 00:15:45

triggering his grandma's seizures.

379

: 00:15:48

And there's been a lot of drama around

trying to get this accommodation.

380

: 00:15:53

And that's one thing we just

keep saying to each other is

381

: 00:15:56

like, We can't control this.

382

: 00:15:58

Like we can.

383

: 00:15:59

You know, keep talking to the HR rep.

384

: 00:16:01

We can.

385

: 00:16:02

Call people.

386

: 00:16:03

We can try to do these things, but the

actual worrying and stressing about it.

387

: 00:16:09

It feels like you're

like moving the needle.

388

: 00:16:12

It feels like you're doing something to.

389

: 00:16:15

To improve your situation, or you

could also apply this yet to your bus.

390

: 00:16:19

So your kids or whatever, like

worrying and stressing about it

391

: 00:16:22

feels like you're doing something.

392

: 00:16:24

It feels productive, but it's

not, it doesn't do anything.

393

: 00:16:28

And so if you can just

surrender that control.

394

: 00:16:30

And you can feel a lot more

relaxed and a lot more.

395

: 00:16:33

At peace and I think also

with this, when you let go of

396

: 00:16:36

things that you can't control.

397

: 00:16:39

Then you're not wasting so much

time and energy on the worrying.

398

: 00:16:43

So then you can just focus on actually.

399

: 00:16:46

Taking action and doing things.

400

: 00:16:49

And then you're able to work harder.

401

: 00:16:52

Because you're not wasting so

much time and energy on the

402

: 00:16:55

worrying and the stressing.

403

: 00:16:57

The third way to feel

relaxed while working hard.

404

: 00:17:00

Is to be present.

405

: 00:17:03

And I talk a lot about this.

406

: 00:17:05

But I feel like this has been

huge for me when I'm trying

407

: 00:17:08

to do multiple things at once.

408

: 00:17:09

Like when I'm trying to multitask.

409

: 00:17:12

I just feel frazzled like., I'm trying to

410

: 00:17:14

be with my kids and help them

and work on this Instagram post.

411

: 00:17:18

And.

412

: 00:17:19

You know, keep my kids from dying.

413

: 00:17:20

I dunno, like.

414

: 00:17:22

The back and forth is so stressful for me.

415

: 00:17:24

And it doesn't mean like you can't work

while you're with your kids or you can't.

416

: 00:17:30

Take care of your house while

you're with your kids or you can't.

417

: 00:17:33

Listen to a business podcast while you're.

418

: 00:17:36

Cleaning your house.

419

: 00:17:37

Like of course you can do those things.

420

: 00:17:40

But it has been such a game changer.

421

: 00:17:42

To just focus on one thing at a time.

422

: 00:17:46

I like to have it scheduled out,

like, not precisely, but like, okay.

423

: 00:17:49

Mornings.

424

: 00:17:50

That's my time to just play with my kids.

425

: 00:17:52

I don't have to worry about housework.

426

: 00:17:54

I don't have to worry about.

427

: 00:17:56

Okay.

428

: 00:17:56

Well, I do do laundry on

Mondays and Wednesdays, but..

429

: 00:17:59

I don't have to worry about my business.

430

: 00:18:00

I don't have to worry about

anything like mornings or my

431

: 00:18:03

times to just play with my kids.

432

: 00:18:05

And then for nap time and quiet time,

433

: 00:18:07

Even if my son.

434

: 00:18:08

Is having a hard time doing quiet time.

435

: 00:18:10

Maybe he's there.

436

: 00:18:11

He's with me, like that's my time to work.

437

: 00:18:13

So when I'm working, I'm really

working when I'm with my kids.

438

: 00:18:17

I am really with my kids when I'm

on my phone, I'm really on my phone.

439

: 00:18:23

When I'm doing housework, like

I'm really doing housework.

440

: 00:18:26

And so that's been really

helpful for me too.

441

: 00:18:28

And even like, if I don't

have it scheduled out or my,

442

: 00:18:30

you know, plans, don't go.

443

: 00:18:33

However, you know, things

come up or your kids are.

444

: 00:18:36

Especially needy that day or

whatever, it's still just to

445

: 00:18:38

decide like, okay, you know what?

446

: 00:18:40

I am doing housework right now or.

447

: 00:18:42

I'm not going to do housework right now.

448

: 00:18:44

And I'm going to.

449

: 00:18:45

Just play with my kids

and not try to do both.

450

: 00:18:48

It feels, it just, yeah, it doesn't

feel so, like, you don't feel so

451

: 00:18:52

frazzled because you're like, I have

time scheduled later to do that.

452

: 00:18:55

And I think with that,.

453

: 00:18:56

I think this applies within business too.

454

: 00:18:58

I think it's so easy

to, have your work time.

455

: 00:19:01

And have your forever long to-do

list and you kind of do like.

456

: 00:19:04

A little bit here and then

something pops up and you're

457

: 00:19:06

like, oh, I'll do that real quick.

458

: 00:19:07

And then you like, do this other

thing, but Just take one task on a

459

: 00:19:10

time and just focus on that one task.

460

: 00:19:14

Instead of trying to do like a

little bit of everything at once.

461

: 00:19:18

Or have it planned if you, you know,

I think sometimes if you get so into

462

: 00:19:22

one task and you're struggling to

Make progress on a certain task.

463

: 00:19:25

Like it's totally okay to switch tasks.

464

: 00:19:28

But just recognize, like, why is that

happening and how can you make it

465

: 00:19:30

easier for that task to actually happen?

466

: 00:19:33

And then also like with this

idea of being present this.

467

: 00:19:38

This third.

468

: 00:19:38

Idea that I have.

469

: 00:19:40

Is.

470

: 00:19:40

I think it's really easy to.

471

: 00:19:44

Say well, I'm going to like work really

hard and clean my house so that I can.

472

: 00:19:49

Relax and play later, or I'm going

to work really hard on my business.

473

: 00:19:53

Maybe like sacrifice some time with

my family for now, so that I can.

474

: 00:19:58

Make a lot of money and.

475

: 00:19:59

Be relaxed and present later.

476

: 00:20:01

But I think my perspective, at least for

me in my life, it's been more effective.

477

: 00:20:09

Too.

478

: 00:20:09

I choose to be present now and

choose to relax now and choose to.

479

: 00:20:15

To live my dream life now.

480

: 00:20:17

And then do that forever too.

481

: 00:20:19

I just think don't miss

out on the now because of.

482

: 00:20:23

What may or may not happen later.

483

: 00:20:25

And.

484

: 00:20:26

Don't work hard now,

so you can relax later.

485

: 00:20:28

Like you can do both right now.

486

: 00:20:30

You can work hard now and relax now.

487

: 00:20:32

And you can relax later and record later.

488

: 00:20:34

I think both are possible.

489

: 00:20:37

K the fourth tip that I

have is to be intentional.

490

: 00:20:41

And so I kind of already talked about

this in the pre present, but just.

491

: 00:20:45

Setting times to do things.

492

: 00:20:47

So like I have my daily rhythms of when

I work, when I don't work, when I'm with

493

: 00:20:52

my kids, when I do housework, when I.

494

: 00:20:54

Make dinner when I do laundry.

495

: 00:20:56

And so it's not like every night

or , every moment of the day, I'm like,

496

: 00:21:00

okay, like what should I do right now?

497

: 00:21:02

Like, what's, what's

the best use of my time.

498

: 00:21:04

I think.

499

: 00:21:05

When you don't have to constantly

think about what to do.

500

: 00:21:09

Again, you don't have all that

mind drama that feels so stressful,

501

: 00:21:14

then you can just like get to work

when it's time for whatever it is.

502

: 00:21:19

And I think the other thing with this is.

503

: 00:21:21

Certain.

504

: 00:21:21

Ways of living can be seen

as lazy, you know, like.

505

: 00:21:25

Not cleaning your house or., just

chilling outside when your house

506

: 00:21:31

is messy or sleeping a lot, or

not working on your business,

507

: 00:21:38

those things can be seen as lazy.

508

: 00:21:41

But I don't see them as lazy at all.

509

: 00:21:44

I just see them as intentional.

510

: 00:21:46

Like I have certain dedicated

hours to work on my business.

511

: 00:21:50

And in those hours, I

really get to work like I'm.

512

: 00:21:54

I know what I'm doing.

513

: 00:21:55

I know what tasks to do, and I

do them and they do them well.

514

: 00:21:58

And then when it's not time to work,

I'm not trying to like make up for.

515

: 00:22:04

Things I didn't get done.

516

: 00:22:05

Like I'm just done and I can really

just be intentional about that rest too.

517

: 00:22:10

And be intentional about.

518

: 00:22:12

That relaxation.

519

: 00:22:15

And that's actually what this,

this guy that I was talking

520

: 00:22:18

about earlier . Helps you do.

521

: 00:22:19

It's called a mom's guide to

building a simple business.

522

: 00:22:22

And this helps you to know what to

do and what not to do so that you

523

: 00:22:27

don't always feel like you're rushing.

524

: 00:22:29

Both in your.

525

: 00:22:30

Business and in

526

: 00:22:31

the activities you do with your kids and

also with just housework and house tasks.

527

: 00:22:37

And I think kind of like a no

on this with being intentional.

528

: 00:22:42

I can do the exact same task.

529

: 00:22:45

But feel totally different.

530

: 00:22:47

And so like, as an example of this.

531

: 00:22:49

I with running, for example.

532

: 00:22:51

So.

533

: 00:22:53

I ran a marathon.

534

: 00:22:55

Let's see.

535

: 00:22:55

When did I read that?

536

: 00:22:56

2019 in may of 2019.

537

: 00:22:59

And when I was training

for that marathon, like.

538

: 00:23:02

Running 15 miles.

539

: 00:23:04

An eight minute pace,

was it felt relaxing.

540

: 00:23:08

Like it was just like an

easy, relaxed 15 mile run.

541

: 00:23:12

If I were to run 15 miles right now,

especially at eight minute pace.

542

: 00:23:17

I would not feel relaxed.

543

: 00:23:18

I would feel tired.

544

: 00:23:20

And exhausted.

545

: 00:23:21

And so I think like there are a

few different things you can do to.

546

: 00:23:25

Make certain tasks feel relaxing.

547

: 00:23:29

One, I think, yeah.

548

: 00:23:31

Being present for the task, not trying

to do other tasks at the same time.

549

: 00:23:35

I think also like the more you do

something, the easier it will feel.

550

: 00:23:39

And so.

551

: 00:23:41

You know, running right now, I'm

not in the same kind of shape.

552

: 00:23:43

I was.

553

: 00:23:45

If I do it more than it

will feel more relaxing.

554

: 00:23:49

Creating products or creating posts, like

it might feel a little bit stressful.

555

: 00:23:53

But the more you do it and the

more you practice doing it quickly.

556

: 00:23:58

And not even like rushed

quickly, but just.

557

: 00:24:00

. We'll talk about this next, when we

talk about mindset shifts, but I think

558

: 00:24:03

we've all been there where you can be

559

: 00:24:05

cleaning your house, or you can be.

560

: 00:24:08

Creating content, or you can

be recording a podcast or you

561

: 00:24:12

can be playing with your kids.

562

: 00:24:14

And sometimes it feels really relaxed.

563

: 00:24:17

And sometimes you feel really.

564

: 00:24:19

Stressed and anxious and panicky and.

565

: 00:24:24

Rushed and frazzled.

566

: 00:24:25

And so.

567

: 00:24:26

The fifth tip that I have

for you is mindset shifts.

568

: 00:24:30

And so I think kind of with

that, I kind of touched on this

569

: 00:24:33

earlier, but remembering that.

570

: 00:24:36

Stressing and, and hustling,

you know, like that.

571

: 00:24:39

That feeling of hustle, it can feel.

572

: 00:24:43

Productive, but it doesn't

necessarily equal more results.

573

: 00:24:47

Just because you're doing more,

a lot of what we end up doing in

574

: 00:24:51

our business is just busy work

anyways, or also in our lives.

575

: 00:24:55

Like.

576

: 00:24:56

It doesn't necessarily mean you're

making progress in the ways that

577

: 00:24:59

you want to be making progress.

578

: 00:25:02

I think also.

579

: 00:25:03

If you live with an abundance

mindset for me, I found this most

580

: 00:25:07

beneficial, both with time and money.

581

: 00:25:10

If I feel like I have a really

limited amount of time, like.

582

: 00:25:14

Technically, I only work 10 hours a week.

583

: 00:25:18

On my business.

584

: 00:25:20

And so that might.

585

: 00:25:22

From a technical standpoint, it

seemed like I have limited time.

586

: 00:25:26

But I don't think about that.

587

: 00:25:28

Like especially lately, a lot

of my work time has gone towards.

588

: 00:25:32

Talking with Matt and trying to

figure out things with his situation.

589

: 00:25:35

Like, I could feel really panicky of

like, oh my gosh, like I just wasted

590

: 00:25:39

an hour of my time and I only have 10

hours or four hours really, because.

591

: 00:25:43

My daughter, hasn't been

napping, only have four hours

592

: 00:25:45

and now I only have three hours.

593

: 00:25:46

Now I have to get all these

things done in a time.

594

: 00:25:48

Like I just choose not

to see life that way.

595

: 00:25:51

Like, it's almost the opposite

of most what most productivity

596

: 00:25:55

experts teach of like.

597

: 00:25:58

Using your time wisely, like.

598

: 00:26:00

Yeah, you do your best,

but One more time tomorrow.

599

: 00:26:03

I don't know.

600

: 00:26:04

I'll have more time next time.

601

: 00:26:06

Like, what is the rush?

602

: 00:26:08

What's what's the rush for.

603

: 00:26:10

Getting it out today instead of tomorrow.

604

: 00:26:12

Anyways.

605

: 00:26:13

And I think also with money,

that can be a huge thing.

606

: 00:26:15

Like.

607

: 00:26:16

Feeling so scarce about money, whether

that's in how you're spending your

608

: 00:26:21

money or when you're making money Like.

609

: 00:26:23

that scarcity mindset.

610

: 00:26:24

I think that's been the biggest switch.

611

: 00:26:25

And I think I'll forever be working

on it, but as I've switched to an

612

: 00:26:28

abundance mindset with money where like,

there is plenty of money to go around.

613

: 00:26:34

Like they're really, like,

there's not a shortage of money.

614

: 00:26:37

There's plenty of money.

615

: 00:26:38

Then I'm not.

616

: 00:26:38

So panic year rushed or.

617

: 00:26:42

Anxious when I'm working like, oh,

I have to make this money right now.

618

: 00:26:45

Like, no, the money comes when it comes.

619

: 00:26:49

That's been helpful too.

620

: 00:26:51

Okay.

621

: 00:26:51

And then I think honestly, the,

the very biggest mindset shift.

622

: 00:26:56

, that has helped me too.

623

: 00:26:58

Feel relaxed while I'm working hard.

624

: 00:27:02

Is.

625

: 00:27:03

Internalizing my inherent value.

626

: 00:27:06

That.

627

: 00:27:07

And I've noticed this When I start.

628

: 00:27:11

Not feeling relaxed while I'm working.

629

: 00:27:13

When I start.

630

: 00:27:13

to feel like.

631

: 00:27:15

Panicky while I'm, I'm doing

things in my business, or I

632

: 00:27:18

start to feel like overwhelmed

by everything I want to get done.

633

: 00:27:22

It usually, if I can.

634

: 00:27:25

Take a step back it's usually

because I'm subconsciously basing

635

: 00:27:29

my value either on my productivity.

636

: 00:27:33

Or I'm basing my value on

the results of my business.

637

: 00:27:37

So like, How much money I'm making or how

many people are signing up for things or.

638

: 00:27:43

How many people are buying things or.

639

: 00:27:44

things like that.

640

: 00:27:46

Or I'm basing my value on like how

clean my house is, or I'm usually

641

: 00:27:50

basing my value on something that

I don't want to base my value on.

642

: 00:27:56

And that.

643

: 00:27:57

that.

644

: 00:27:57

honestly is the biggest thing for me when.

645

: 00:27:59

when.

646

: 00:27:59

I realized, like I am RD enough, I

don't have to prove anything in my

647

: 00:28:04

business or in my life or in my house.

648

: 00:28:07

Like I just am.

649

: 00:28:09

I just am enough.

650

: 00:28:11

Then I'm able to relax and just enjoy

the ways that I choose to spend my time.

651

: 00:28:16

Both.

652

: 00:28:17

Working hard and my business

and working hard to take care

653

: 00:28:19

of my house and working hard to.

654

: 00:28:22

to.

655

: 00:28:22

be the mom . I want to be.

656

: 00:28:25

And have that relationship with my kids

that I want to have, but it doesn't

657

: 00:28:28

feel like that hustle working hard.

658

: 00:28:31

It feels that like relaxed,

intentional, working hard.

659

: 00:28:35

And I actually have a couple

podcast episodes on that.

660

: 00:28:38

that.

661

: 00:28:39

idea.

662

: 00:28:40

The first one is episode 15 and

it's called how to be unproductive.

663

: 00:28:44

And be okay with it.

664

: 00:28:46

And then the other one is

episode 40 and it's called.

665

: 00:28:51

Internalizing your inherent value.

666

: 00:28:54

Okay.

667

: 00:28:54

So those are all the tips

that I have for you today.

668

: 00:28:56

And then I have a few other thoughts that.

669

: 00:28:59

I wrote down that I'll share, but I

don't, I don't think I put them anywhere.

670

: 00:29:02

So.

671

: 00:29:04

The first tip was to figure

out what you personally want.

672

: 00:29:07

Like, do you really want.

673

: 00:29:09

An intense business and high

level and all those things like.

674

: 00:29:14

That is awesome.

675

: 00:29:15

like.

676

: 00:29:15

seriously, that is awesome.

677

: 00:29:16

If you do.

678

: 00:29:18

And go for that.

679

: 00:29:18

Do you want.

680

: 00:29:20

To do it all yourself, or

do you want to hire help?

681

: 00:29:23

Do you want.

682

: 00:29:24

to.

683

: 00:29:25

Have just like a simple

business on the side.

684

: 00:29:28

Do you want to play and have fun?

685

: 00:29:31

Do you want to work hard first?

686

: 00:29:32

Like you get to choose what, what

you want and what works best for you.

687

: 00:29:37

The second thing was to let go

of things that you can't control.

688

: 00:29:40

Third be present, whatever you're doing.

689

: 00:29:44

Be all there.

690

: 00:29:45

Don't try to do multiple things at once.

691

: 00:29:47

Or switch back and forth between tasks.

692

: 00:29:50

Fourth was to be intentional.

693

: 00:29:53

Don't be lazy, but be intentional.

694

: 00:29:56

And then fifth was to shift your mindset.

695

: 00:29:59

And then., kind of some last

thoughts on this topic so.

696

: 00:30:03

Last week episode, I kind of shared

more of what was going on in her life.

697

: 00:30:06

And we were at an Airbnb.

698

: 00:30:08

Because our house was getting fixed and.

699

: 00:30:12

Then Matt is easier in any way.

700

: 00:30:13

So it was crazy.

701

: 00:30:15

When we came back from the Airbnb.

702

: 00:30:18

All the flowers in our

front yard had bloomed.

703

: 00:30:21

I didn't plant those flowers.

704

: 00:30:23

Like somebody, the less people who

lived here or somebody who lived here

705

: 00:30:26

previously planted those flowers.

706

: 00:30:29

I did nothing.

707

: 00:30:30

Okay.

708

: 00:30:30

And we did a little bit, but

like, I haven't watered those.

709

: 00:30:33

I haven't planted them.

710

: 00:30:34

I haven't done anything with them.

711

: 00:30:36

But they bloomed when we came back

and like, I got to enjoy these

712

: 00:30:39

beautiful flowers in our front yard.

713

: 00:30:42

And that principle is so

true in my business too.

714

: 00:30:44

Like times when I have done nothing,

like I'm not working on my business.

715

: 00:30:49

It's still working and I'll come back

to people, having purchased things and

716

: 00:30:53

to have made money and to have growth,

have people new people following me into

717

: 00:30:57

people, reaching out about things like.

718

: 00:30:59

Things happen even when

you're not working.

719

: 00:31:03

On your business.

720

: 00:31:04

And I think that is true for any

principle of our life, just because

721

: 00:31:07

we're not worrying about something or

stressing about something or working

722

: 00:31:10

on something like, it doesn't mean it.

723

: 00:31:13

It's not blooming, it's not growing.

724

: 00:31:15

And so that also can

help me to feel relaxed.

725

: 00:31:18

Is knowing that.

726

: 00:31:19

The work you've put in in the

past is still working and it's

727

: 00:31:22

still, it's still helping you.

728

: 00:31:25

And then, so when I was in sixth

grade, my dad and I decided

729

: 00:31:31

to train for a 10 K together.

730

: 00:31:33

And.

731

: 00:31:34

We would get up every morning.

732

: 00:31:36

I think we had run it six and we would

do this same route every morning And.

733

: 00:31:39

it was really dark and.

734

: 00:31:41

Those memories running with my dad are

really some of the most precious to me.

735

: 00:31:46

And I ha I learned a lot

of life lessons from those.

736

: 00:31:50

those.

737

: 00:31:50

early morning runs and one of them.

738

: 00:31:54

Is it's okay to stop and go.

739

: 00:31:57

Like I would.

740

: 00:31:58

Go fast and then I would.

741

: 00:31:59

stop and walk for awhile.

742

: 00:32:02

And then I would go again

and then I would stop.

743

: 00:32:04

And I eventually got better at like

just running a consistent pace.

744

: 00:32:08

I learned, you know, a

good, steady pace, but.

745

: 00:32:11

People say, like, I hear this all

the time from experts of like, you

746

: 00:32:15

have to be all in, in your business.

747

: 00:32:17

You know, act as if you are a

million million, what's that called?

748

: 00:32:21

Like.

749

: 00:32:22

Million dollar business owner

or something like what would a

750

: 00:32:25

million dollar business owner do?

751

: 00:32:26

She would never miss a week with

her podcast or stay up late to

752

: 00:32:31

like, make things happen or.

753

: 00:32:34

I don't know, just like being

so intense about things and.

754

: 00:32:39

I don't do that.

755

: 00:32:40

I Ms.

756

: 00:32:41

Weeks for my podcast.

757

: 00:32:43

All the time.

758

: 00:32:44

I think I've, this is episode, maybe 51.

759

: 00:32:48

And I started my podcast in.

760

: 00:32:50

March.

761

: 00:32:51

And now it's may like March of last year.

762

: 00:32:53

So 52 weeks would have been March,

but I like apparently I'm two months

763

: 00:32:57

behind on like podcast episodes.

764

: 00:32:59

And it's fine.

765

: 00:33:00

I, my I'm making good

money from my business.

766

: 00:33:04

Even with missing weeks.

767

: 00:33:07

It's okay.

768

: 00:33:07

To stop and go and not be

so intense about things.

769

: 00:33:11

And still see success.

770

: 00:33:14

Anyways.

771

: 00:33:14

I feel like I didn't,

like, I'm not sure if.

772

: 00:33:17

This is another thing that I'm working

on and I always am working on, like, I

773

: 00:33:20

feel like this topic is so interesting to

me and I wanted to take so much time to.

774

: 00:33:25

Prep and really like make

this episode really good.

775

: 00:33:29

And

776

: 00:33:30

I don't know if I quite grasp it.

777

: 00:33:31

But if there was a takeaway from

this episode that resonated with

778

: 00:33:35

you, I would love to hear it.

779

: 00:33:38

And also if there's like, sometimes

I'm listening to podcasts episodes

780

: 00:33:41

and I'm like, I don't agree with that.

781

: 00:33:43

I've had a different experience

or I don't, I don't think that.

782

: 00:33:46

So if you have a different perspective on

these things, Seriously, please reach out.

783

: 00:33:50

I.

784

: 00:33:52

I.

785

: 00:33:52

love hearing people's perspectives

and opinions on these things.

786

: 00:33:55

So.

787

: 00:33:56

Reach out to me, DME on Instagram.

788

: 00:33:59

And I hope you can enjoy.

789

: 00:34:00

Working hard while feeling relaxed.