60 | A Peek into My Personal Life
My husband spent last week in the hospital, so instead of recording the episode I planned I'm sharing a peek into what's been going on for our family.
Transcript
I've coached nearly 100 women about their screen time,
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:and here's what I've learned.
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:Women actually don't care about their
screen time, they care about those things
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:that are impacted by their screen time.
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:Their ability to be patient with their
kids, the growth of their business,
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:having time to pursue their creative
dreams, their relationship with their
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:husband, the inner peace that they feel,
their confidence in themselves, their
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:Connection with God, their friendships
not missing out on their kids' childhoods.
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:I'm Alex and I'm here to
help you find inner peace.
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:Enjoy true fulfillment
and be fully present.
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:Welcome to the Mindful with Media Podcast.
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:Welcome back to another
week of the podcast.
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:Today.
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:When I'm recording, this
is Tuesday, August 20th.
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:And typically I like
to record my episodes.
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:The previous week on.
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:Wednesday.
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:And that's when I like to.
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:Outline record and edit my podcasts.
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:But last Wednesday, my
husband was in the hospital.
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:And so I didn't record and.
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:I I've just been thinking about.
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:How I want to make this week's episode
a little bit different and kind of just
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:share more about what's going on with
my family, with my husband, with myself.
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:And just give you yeah.
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:A little peek into my personal
life and what's been going on.
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:Before I get into that this week.
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:The doors are open.
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:If you want to join the serenity.
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:And this is a six month
experience designed for.
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:Moms who have their own business and
would love to be able to consistently
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:make at least a thousand dollars a month
without working more than 10 hours a week.
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:And you've had your business for a little
bit, but you just haven't been able to.
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:Really get it up and
going for whatever reason.
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:And.
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:A huge part of that is because your family
comes first and your kids come first.
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:And so.
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:I designed this program.
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:Where you have to spend as little
time as possible, both on your
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:business and like in the program.
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:And so.
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:We'll have one live workshop a
month and that's a group call, but
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:that will really be action packed.
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:So it's not like you're just going to
be learning things that you have to go
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:implement another time that's going to be.
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:Active constant creation.
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:Active dermally active creating offers.
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:Like you will really be.
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:Doing things during that hour.
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:And then.
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:You'll also have.
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:You'll also get to hear one.
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:Training each month, but that will
be uploaded to a private podcast.
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:And so you can just listen to that.
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:While you're on a walk with your
kids or while you're doing dishes
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:or while you're folding laundry,
because I know you're busy.
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:And then the third
thing is you'll get one.
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:Private coaching call with me every month.
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:And that's where we'll
really make sure that we're.
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:Helping you take focused action.
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:And so that you can actually really start
to make consistent money in your business.
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:There are only 10 spots
available in this program.
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:And four of them have already been filled.
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:Today is when the cart
opened Tuesday, August 20th.
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:So if you are at all interested,
definitely check out the
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:link in the show notes.
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:It's 2 83 a month for six months.
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:With the guaranteed that you will
be making a thousand dollars a
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:month by the end of the six months.
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:And if you're not, you can
request a full refund on that.
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:So if you're interested,
make sure to check that out.
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:Or if you have any questions about whether
or not this is a good fit for you and
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:your business or your life situation.
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:Please reach out and I'm happy to
answer any questions with that.
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:But with that, let's get back to.
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:What's been going on with, with my family.
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:So.
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:A few months ago, I actually recorded an
episode about kind of giving an update.
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:And that was episode number 50.
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:If you want to go back and listen
to that, that'll give you more
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:context, but just a brief summary.
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:So my husband.
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:Had brain surgery in 2017.
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:And as a result of the brain
surgery, he started having seizures.
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:And he had.
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:12 tonic clonic seizures
between:
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:And then he went four years without
any tonic, clonic or grandma seizures.
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:And then in March of this year,
he had a breakthrough seizure.
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:And so since then, we've
just been dealing with.
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:Trying to figure out his health.
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:And.
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:His main triggers for his
seizures are lack of sleep.
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:Stress.
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:Fatigue or like
overstimulating situations.
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:And so if you've ever had young
kids, then you know, that.
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:All of those things come.
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:With having in caring for young kids.
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:And so that's been kind of a
challenge trying to figure out.
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:How to.
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:Have my husband live a
functional life when.
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:It's hard to get
uninterrupted sleep or it's.
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:And he needs like a lot
of sleep, not just like.
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:Seven or eight hours.
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:Like he, his body really needs like.
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:I don't know.
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:10 or 11 hours and also his
anti-seizure medication.
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:Makes him super, super sleepy.
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:And so he's just really tired.
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:A lot of the time.
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:So because of that, he
works in eight to five job.
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:And then he'll usually eat dinner with us.
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:And then he typically rests
the rest of the evening.
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:And so.
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:My job as the primary caregiver has
looked different because of that.
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:And.
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:, it's been a journey.
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:But something that I do want
to just say, like, I feel like
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:I talk about this quite a bit.
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:On Instagram, I'm pretty open about
what's going on with our family.
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:And I don't know if I give Matt
enough credit and all of this.
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:Like, this is really hard on him.
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:He is.
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:The most.
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:Selfless hardworking.
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:Committed.
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:Husband and father and worker,
and it's really hard for him
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:to not be able to contribute.
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:To our family in the
ways that he wants to.
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:And.
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:I know there are a lot of.
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:Woman who don't have a
husband like that who.
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:Whether it's.
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:For whatever reason, they're not as
supportive as they want them to be.
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:And.
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:That's really painful when you're
not getting that kind of support
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:when they could be helping.
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:So I don't know.
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:I just want to say.
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:Lots of love to everyone.
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:We're all going through something.
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:So once we realized Matt really wasn't
going to be able to help out much at home.
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:We, I already had.
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:A babysitter that was
coming twice a week while I.
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:Worked on my business.
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:So that was for four hours a week.
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:And then we decided to hire
another babysitter to come.
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:Five mornings a week for an hour.
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:So that I could run and have that time to.
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:Just make sure that I was checking
in with myself and checking in with
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:God and taking care of my body.
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:Cause running is a really huge.
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:Like part of my mental health.
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:It's moving my body.
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:So that's been awesome and
helpful in a lot of ways.
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:And.
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:I saw a real on Instagram
about, I think it was like,
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:I don't want a break for my kids.
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:I want to be with my kids, but
I don't want to be the one in
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:charge, if that makes sense.
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:Like.
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:I want there to be someone
else there to help.
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:Like be the one to like intervene
when they're hurting each other or
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:be the one to comfort them or be
the one, I don't know, just the one
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:to like carry some of that load,
but I still want to be with them.
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:It's not like I just want to like
be away from my kids and just.
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:Work or doing my own thing.
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:Anyway.
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:So that's, I think that's, what's
been hard is like the emotional.
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:Burden of at all.
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:And with that.
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:I have.
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:The best friends in the entire world.
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:And if you're listening to this.
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:Philadel emotional, because I don't know
how I would go through this without.
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:The support that I have from.
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:Really good friends and really good.
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:Amazing.
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:Family members and even.
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:Some of you who I've just met through
Instagram who have reached out expressing.
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:Words of love or prayer.
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:We really can feel those.
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:So, thank you.
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:I don't really know where
I was going with this, but.
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:Oh, I know where I was going.
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:Oh my gosh.
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:So.
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:It's really interesting
because I feel like I have.
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:So many.
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:People in my life, like I have.
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:I hang out with friends every single day.
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:I have people reaching out all the time.
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:And that's what keeps
me going and keeps me.
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:Yeah.
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:Keeps me going during
this phase of our life.
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:And.
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:I, I think especially.
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:Saturdays or evenings or Sundays, or
just times when Matt used to spend
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:time with us, those tend to be.
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:The most difficult one because
people are usually busy.
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:And then often on Saturdays, I'll
still take my kids on an adventure.
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:Or sometimes we'll go grocery shopping.
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:And.
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:There was a couple Saturdays ago
where we were at a splash pad and.
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:I think I was already feeling just,
I don't know, kind of off that day.
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:And.
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:The kids are playing and
we're having fun and stuff.
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:And.
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:Every single family that was there.
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:Was a family.
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:There was a dad there, there
was a mom, a dad, and the kids.
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:And I just started crying at the splash
pad because I was like, I want Matt to be
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:here and, and kind of with that, like some
of the family things that we've gone to.
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:My sweet three-year-old son will ask,
like, Well, why isn't my daddy here and
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:why are other people's studies there and
do other people's daddies have seizures
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:and well, why can't my daddy drive?
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:And just like these.
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:Heart-wrenching questions
that are, it's hard for him to
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:process as a three-year-old.
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:Why things are the way
they are and that's been.
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:It's been hard.
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:Like.
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:And it's easy for me
to be like, well, like,
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:It shouldn't be that hard because
I have all this babysitting
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:support and people's husbands are
gone all the time for work and.
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:You know, it's easy to get into that.
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:Like, Gaslighting myself
about how I feel about things.
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:And I've just had to accept like,
Some parts of this are really hard
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:for me, even though they might
not be hard for other people.
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:They're hard for me.
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:And other parts of it that might
be really hard for other people.
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:Haven't been especially hard, like.
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:I don't know which parts.
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:But.
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:And a lot of ways it's been fine.
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:And I'll also say with all this,
that's been like, Just just
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:an adjustment time for myself.
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:So my parents used to
live about an hour away.
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:And then they recently moved to Texas.
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:To serve as missionaries for the church
of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.
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:And so that's been.
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:An adjustment, not having them.
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:Close by.
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:To reach out to, and to rely on
for help and things like that.
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:Oh, yeah.
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:So I'm at the splash
pad and I start crying.
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:And . I just was like, I feel so alone.
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:I just.
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:It's like so weird.
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:It was like, even though I know
I have so many people in my life,
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:like I want my person, like, I
want Matt to be here with us.
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:And.
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:So I am.
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:I'm crying and my sweet kids.
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:Oh, I think they like artists
so had started fighting too.
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:And I was like, I'm just tired of
doing this by myself and always
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:being the one that have to help them.
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:So I started crying and.
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:I think.
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:It was my almost two year
old that noticed first.
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:And she always says, what's up, what's up?
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:Mommy, you feeling sad?
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:I was like, yeah, I feel sad.
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:And so then my three-year-old chimed in
and he said, why do you feel sad, mom?
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:I said, I just feel alone.
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:And he said, We can be with you.
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:And I just, that made me sob even more.
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:Cause they really do feel like they have
been my little buddies, you know, they.
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:I spend most of my time with
my kids and they really have.
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:You know, they they're, it's challenging
caregiving for kids that young with
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:that many needs and they've been.
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:So sweet and such a support to
me is as we're all navigating
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:this time in our life.
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:Okay.
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:So.
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:Last week.
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:Matt.
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:Went to the hospital and
it was, this was planned.
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:It wasn't like an emergency thing.
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:This had been planned.
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:And it was for, it's called an
EMU and it's kind of like an EEG
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:if you've ever heard of that.
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:Where they hook up a lung.
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:A bunch of electrodes.
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:I think that's what it's called.
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:To your head.
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:And then they also had a, a video.
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:Something on him.
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:And then they were intentionally
wanted him to have seizures.
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:So that they could.
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:Get some data on where the seizures
were coming from and how they were.
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:Happening.
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:And I don't even know what else, but.
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:They want a data about the seizures.
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:Because.
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:As a result of that
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:it's possible that he'll be a candidate
for one of three types of surgeries that
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:could help with his seizures and reduce.
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:The seizures and improve
his quality of life.
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:So one is called a vagal nerve
stimulator, vagus nerve stimulator.
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:And that's where.
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:If, you know, I'm sure you've
heard about the Vegas nerve
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:seems really trendy right now.
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:But something to do with waving
a magnet around that stimulator.
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:When you're about to have a seizure it's
supposed to help prevent the seizure.
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:Not totally sure.
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:About any of these, like how they
actually work, but that's one option.
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:And then another option is like a chip.
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:I think they call it an ENS, maybe.
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:And they put the chip in your head.
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:And then it's supposed to learn.
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:You're like brain.
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:Signal patterns and your seizure patterns.
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:And then it's supposedly helps.
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:Like, if you're about to
have a seizure, it'll fire.
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:Connection or something.
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:So you don't have the seizure again?
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:I don't know like exactly how it works.
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:And then the third option would
be, so the part of his brain
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:where he's having the seizures,
they would take part of that out.
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:To see if that helps stop the seizures.
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:So, those are kind of the options that.
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:We are.
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:Looking at right now, we're waiting for.
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:The September conference where they'll.
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:They have this.
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:You know, this group of experts.
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:Look at his data and then they'll
give us a recommendation based
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:on the data they have from that.
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:So that's why he went to
the hospital last week.
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:And.
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:My mother-in-law stayed with him.
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:She came from Wyoming to be
with him in the hospital.
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:And I was home with the kids.
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:And Monday and Tuesday were great.
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:Like.
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:In all honesty, our life wasn't
that different because Matt
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:can't help a ton right now.
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:Anyways, at home.
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:And so.
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:Yeah, things really weren't
that different on those days.
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:Except we FaceTimed with
Matt a ton because we wanted
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:him to have a seizure and.
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:We are.
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:Loud and overstimulating, and that's
a great trigger for his seizures.
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:So we got to FaceTime with him
a lot more than we usually get
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:to interact with him at home.
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:So that was really fun.
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:And I was a little nervous
about my three-year-old.
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:He can get.
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:Quite aggressive.
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:And Yeah, hitting and hurting.
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:And so I was pretty nervous for that week
that because you know, daddy was going to
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:be at the hospital and just how that's.
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:Matz health has been a huge
trigger for my son's behavior.
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:And so I was pretty nervous that he
was going to be quite aggressive.
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:But he actually was.
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:I would say like even better
behaved on that Monday and Tuesday.
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:I mean, still like his normal things,
but it wasn't like extreme at all.
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:But he was more sad, which for me,
it was a lot easier to comfort.
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:A little boy who is sad and, you know,
kind of like the quivering lip and.
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:I miss daddy and I feel sad.
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:I want to see daddy, things like that.
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:So that was actually.
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:I don't know if good is the right word,
but it was, it felt a lot more manageable
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:than I thought it was going to be.
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:So that was Monday and
Tuesday, Monday and Tuesday.
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:Matt had a ton of.
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:Partial seizures while he would
like blink out for a few seconds,
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:but no grand mal seizures.
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:And.
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:Then Wednesday morning.
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:We were driving down about half
an hour away to go raspberry,
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:picking with some friends.
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:And my mother-in-law.
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:Called to let me know that
Matt had had a grandma seizure
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:and she said it was much more.
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:To as much as she said, it was much longer
than any of his other grandma seizures
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:have been usually his or about a minute.
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:And this one was over two minutes.
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:And he turned blue and they had
to give him oxygen and she seemed.
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:I don't know if shaken up as the
right word, but she just seemed.
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:She just said, this
was., This was the most.
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:Intense seizures of his
that she'd ever seen.
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:And she has seen quite a few of his
she's been around for a lot of them.
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:So.
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:We get to the like go
raspberry picking and.
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:In my mind, I'm like, oh yeah, like
we've been wanting that to have a
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:grandma seizure so they can get the data.
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:Like this is what was supposed to happen,
but my body was like, Panicky and shaky.
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:And I don't know if shaky is
the right word, but just like.
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:Kind of in that shock mode, which is how
I usually feel after he has a seizure.
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:But I was, I was feeling that way,
even though mentally, I was like, well,
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:this is what was supposed to happen.
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:And he's safe in the hospital.
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:Like there's no better
way for this to happen.
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:So it was kind of a weird experience.
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:It's a little bit out of it while.
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:Raspberry picking thankfully had.
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:Some good friends there to.
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:Kind of check in with and.
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:Such.
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:And then.
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:After we finished raspberry
picking, we went to a nearby park.
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:Also with a group of friends.
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:And I was like pretty out
of it that whole time.
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:I was just, just kind of trying
to process what was going on.
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:And I got another text that Matt
had another grand mal seizure,
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:which was not supposed to happen.
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:I mean, it was fine cause he
was still in the hospital, but.
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:It can.
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:I don't know.
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:Yeah, it can be bad if you
have too many seizures.
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:And so that one really threw me off
and I was feeling like, well, did the.
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:The people at the hospital pushed him
too hard and as he safe and he also,
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:that one was also like they had to give
him medicine to stop it and always just.
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:It's just scary.
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:I don't know.
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:Having your husband go
through something like that.
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:And so I was, I was just kind of
shaken up from that whole experience.
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:So I just, I stayed at the
park for, until like, 2:00 PM.
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:Because I didn't want
to go home and be alone.
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:To process.
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:And I knew I had a babysitter coming
up three, and so I let my kids just
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:nap in the car on the way home.
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:And then I.
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:Babysitter came and I had a, was
supposed to have a call with.
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:A friend.
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:Actually Krista Cookham who she was on my
podcast before about bullet journaling.
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:And.
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:So I kind of told her
what was going on and.
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:Processed a little bit there.
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:And talked about whatever
we needed to talk about.
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:I don't even remember.
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:So then I it's like.
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:Four o'clock and.
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:I have an hour left to get work done.
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:And I think I was going to record a
podcast episode, but I could not focus.
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:Like I was just feeling so.
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:I didn't even know what I was feeling.
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:That was half the problem.
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:I was like, why am I so.
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:Off about all of this.
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:So I.
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:I spent about 15 minutes bumbling
around trying to get stuff done and
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:not being productive and realized
like, oh, this is not the time to work.
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:My body needs to go take a break
and my mind needs to take a break.
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:So I.
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:I spent the rest of my time
that my babysitter was there.
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:I went on a walk and called my
sister and she helped me process.
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:And.
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:That was those really good.
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:Then.
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:Thursday.
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:The next day.
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:Matt once he went 24 hours without
having a grand mal seizure,
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:then he was able to come home.
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:So he came home on Thursday
and his mother-in-law.
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:Brought him back and that was.
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:Just really happy and really sweet.
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:My, my son really, really loves
his dad and he missed him a lot.
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:So that was a sweet reunion.
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:Oh, and it was so interesting because so.
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:They got home.
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:I want to say it was like 1:00 PM or
something like that, which is usually
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:when my daughter goes down for her
nap and my son starts quiet time.
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:And so that's typically
when I get some work done.
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:And so I, I had been planning to work.
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:But then, , so my daughter had
already gone down for her nap.
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:My mother-in-law went to take a nap.
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:And then Matt and Becca and I were
sitting around the table together.
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:And.
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:Becca.
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:I'm really wanting to spend
some time with Matt and that.
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:He's feeling kind of unsteady,
but he said he felt safe enough
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:to, to spend time with Becca.
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:And so I was thinking, I was like, okay,
well maybe I'll go get some work done.
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:And I just had this
moment of like, Y like.
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:For what reason would I go?
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:Try to get work done.
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:When I have this moment with like my
husband and my son who I have been
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:craving time with, like, why would I.
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:Why would I go do that?
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:When.
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:Like what's my business for if, if I'm
not really fishing in this time with.
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:My family.
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:And so.
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:I didn't work that day.
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:And I spent time with.
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:Matt and Beckam, and just had a really.
490
:I don't know, sweet time.
491
:I don't even remember what we did maybe.
492
:Oh, I know my sweet friend
had brought some cake and ice
493
:cream over the night before.
494
:And so we all ate cake and ice
cream together and it was so
495
:yummy and it was so fun and just.
496
:I feel like I, I appreciate simple
things so much more now where I'm
497
:like, We're spending time together.
498
:Like this is so special.
499
:And that's been really sweet.
500
:So, I don't know.
501
:I feel like, again, this was
kind of just a random episode
502
:giving you update on my life.
503
:But.
504
:It was so interesting, like.
505
:You know, I hardly worked last week.
506
:But.
507
:I had four.
508
:I don't know if random is the right
word, but for random people reach out
509
:to me asking if they could work with me.
510
:And I also, you know, how to launch
coming up this week because the launch
511
:opened today, the cart opened today
to sign up for this group program.
512
:And.
513
:It's just interesting that like,
Your business is working, even
514
:if you're not working on it.
515
:That moment, like, I think Thursday
was a perfect example where like,
516
:Even Wednesday and Thursday,
like I didn't spend.
517
:Hardly any time.
518
:Thinking or working on my business.
519
:But last week I had.
520
:Several people.
521
:Reach out to me from.
522
:Work I've put in for.
523
:The last year, you know,
it's like, I don't know.
524
:So if you're in a phase where you feel
like you're always supposed to be working.
525
:Or need to be working just trust in
the work that you've already put in.
526
:Because it works.
527
:It's making a difference.
528
:And if it's not working.
529
:This like reach out to me and we can
talk about some tweaks you can make
530
:to, to make sure that the small amount
of time you do put into your business.
531
:Is is working for you and
is making a difference.
532
:And again, I'll just say.
533
:If you're in a season of life where.
534
:Your.
535
:Dealing with some
challenging health problems.
536
:If you have really young kids, If you.
537
:Have older kids who have a
lot of needs and demands.
538
:If you.
539
:Are working through your own things.
540
:If you're just a normal human who.
541
:Who doesn't have a ton of time to work on
your business, but you would love to be.
542
:Legit and you would love
to consistently make money.
543
:And you're just trying to figure
out how to make that work.
544
:I've designed the serenity for you.
545
:And I'll link in the show notes.
546
:Again, it's 2 83 a month there.
547
:10 spots total.
548
:Last time I checked, four
of those spots were filled.
549
:And I would love to connect
with you on a deeper level,
550
:if that's a good fit for you.
551
:Oh, and something I don't think
I mentioned earlier is you also
552
:get unlimited Voxer support.
553
:So that's where you can message me.
554
:Any day, any time to get answers
to questions or help with
555
:things or things like that.
556
:So.
557
:I I'm glad to have you here.
558
:Thanks for if you made it to the end.
559
:Thanks for listening to my
random blabbering about my life.
560
:We'll talk to you next week.