Episode 60

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Published on:

21st Aug 2024

60 | A Peek into My Personal Life

My husband spent last week in the hospital, so instead of recording the episode I planned I'm sharing a peek into what's been going on for our family.

Join The Serenity

Transcript
Speaker:

I've coached nearly 100 women about their screen time,

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and here's what I've learned.

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Women actually don't care about their

screen time, they care about those things

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that are impacted by their screen time.

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Their ability to be patient with their

kids, the growth of their business,

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having time to pursue their creative

dreams, their relationship with their

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husband, the inner peace that they feel,

their confidence in themselves, their

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Connection with God, their friendships

not missing out on their kids' childhoods.

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I'm Alex and I'm here to

help you find inner peace.

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Enjoy true fulfillment

and be fully present.

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Welcome to the Mindful with Media Podcast.

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Welcome back to another

week of the podcast.

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Today.

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When I'm recording, this

is Tuesday, August 20th.

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And typically I like

to record my episodes.

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The previous week on.

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Wednesday.

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And that's when I like to.

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Outline record and edit my podcasts.

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But last Wednesday, my

husband was in the hospital.

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And so I didn't record and.

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I I've just been thinking about.

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How I want to make this week's episode

a little bit different and kind of just

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share more about what's going on with

my family, with my husband, with myself.

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And just give you yeah.

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A little peek into my personal

life and what's been going on.

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Before I get into that this week.

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The doors are open.

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If you want to join the serenity.

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And this is a six month

experience designed for.

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Moms who have their own business and

would love to be able to consistently

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make at least a thousand dollars a month

without working more than 10 hours a week.

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And you've had your business for a little

bit, but you just haven't been able to.

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Really get it up and

going for whatever reason.

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And.

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A huge part of that is because your family

comes first and your kids come first.

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And so.

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I designed this program.

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Where you have to spend as little

time as possible, both on your

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business and like in the program.

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And so.

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We'll have one live workshop a

month and that's a group call, but

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that will really be action packed.

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So it's not like you're just going to

be learning things that you have to go

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implement another time that's going to be.

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Active constant creation.

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Active dermally active creating offers.

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Like you will really be.

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Doing things during that hour.

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And then.

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You'll also have.

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You'll also get to hear one.

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Training each month, but that will

be uploaded to a private podcast.

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And so you can just listen to that.

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While you're on a walk with your

kids or while you're doing dishes

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or while you're folding laundry,

because I know you're busy.

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And then the third

thing is you'll get one.

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Private coaching call with me every month.

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And that's where we'll

really make sure that we're.

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Helping you take focused action.

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And so that you can actually really start

to make consistent money in your business.

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There are only 10 spots

available in this program.

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And four of them have already been filled.

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Today is when the cart

opened Tuesday, August 20th.

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So if you are at all interested,

definitely check out the

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link in the show notes.

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It's 2 83 a month for six months.

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With the guaranteed that you will

be making a thousand dollars a

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month by the end of the six months.

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And if you're not, you can

request a full refund on that.

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So if you're interested,

make sure to check that out.

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Or if you have any questions about whether

or not this is a good fit for you and

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your business or your life situation.

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Please reach out and I'm happy to

answer any questions with that.

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But with that, let's get back to.

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What's been going on with, with my family.

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So.

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A few months ago, I actually recorded an

episode about kind of giving an update.

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And that was episode number 50.

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If you want to go back and listen

to that, that'll give you more

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context, but just a brief summary.

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So my husband.

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Had brain surgery in 2017.

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And as a result of the brain

surgery, he started having seizures.

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And he had.

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12 tonic clonic seizures

between:

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And then he went four years without

any tonic, clonic or grandma seizures.

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And then in March of this year,

he had a breakthrough seizure.

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And so since then, we've

just been dealing with.

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Trying to figure out his health.

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And.

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His main triggers for his

seizures are lack of sleep.

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Stress.

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Fatigue or like

overstimulating situations.

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And so if you've ever had young

kids, then you know, that.

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All of those things come.

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With having in caring for young kids.

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And so that's been kind of a

challenge trying to figure out.

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How to.

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Have my husband live a

functional life when.

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It's hard to get

uninterrupted sleep or it's.

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And he needs like a lot

of sleep, not just like.

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Seven or eight hours.

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Like he, his body really needs like.

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I don't know.

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10 or 11 hours and also his

anti-seizure medication.

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Makes him super, super sleepy.

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And so he's just really tired.

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A lot of the time.

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So because of that, he

works in eight to five job.

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And then he'll usually eat dinner with us.

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And then he typically rests

the rest of the evening.

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And so.

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My job as the primary caregiver has

looked different because of that.

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And.

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, it's been a journey.

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But something that I do want

to just say, like, I feel like

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I talk about this quite a bit.

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On Instagram, I'm pretty open about

what's going on with our family.

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And I don't know if I give Matt

enough credit and all of this.

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Like, this is really hard on him.

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He is.

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The most.

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Selfless hardworking.

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Committed.

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Husband and father and worker,

and it's really hard for him

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to not be able to contribute.

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To our family in the

ways that he wants to.

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And.

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I know there are a lot of.

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Woman who don't have a

husband like that who.

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Whether it's.

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For whatever reason, they're not as

supportive as they want them to be.

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And.

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That's really painful when you're

not getting that kind of support

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when they could be helping.

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So I don't know.

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I just want to say.

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Lots of love to everyone.

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We're all going through something.

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So once we realized Matt really wasn't

going to be able to help out much at home.

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We, I already had.

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A babysitter that was

coming twice a week while I.

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Worked on my business.

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So that was for four hours a week.

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And then we decided to hire

another babysitter to come.

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Five mornings a week for an hour.

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So that I could run and have that time to.

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Just make sure that I was checking

in with myself and checking in with

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God and taking care of my body.

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Cause running is a really huge.

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Like part of my mental health.

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It's moving my body.

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So that's been awesome and

helpful in a lot of ways.

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And.

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I saw a real on Instagram

about, I think it was like,

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I don't want a break for my kids.

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I want to be with my kids, but

I don't want to be the one in

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charge, if that makes sense.

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Like.

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I want there to be someone

else there to help.

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Like be the one to like intervene

when they're hurting each other or

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be the one to comfort them or be

the one, I don't know, just the one

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to like carry some of that load,

but I still want to be with them.

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It's not like I just want to like

be away from my kids and just.

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Work or doing my own thing.

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Anyway.

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So that's, I think that's, what's

been hard is like the emotional.

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Burden of at all.

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And with that.

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I have.

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The best friends in the entire world.

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And if you're listening to this.

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Philadel emotional, because I don't know

how I would go through this without.

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The support that I have from.

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Really good friends and really good.

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Amazing.

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Family members and even.

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Some of you who I've just met through

Instagram who have reached out expressing.

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Words of love or prayer.

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We really can feel those.

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So, thank you.

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I don't really know where

I was going with this, but.

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Oh, I know where I was going.

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Oh my gosh.

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So.

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It's really interesting

because I feel like I have.

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So many.

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People in my life, like I have.

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I hang out with friends every single day.

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I have people reaching out all the time.

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And that's what keeps

me going and keeps me.

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Yeah.

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Keeps me going during

this phase of our life.

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And.

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I, I think especially.

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Saturdays or evenings or Sundays, or

just times when Matt used to spend

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time with us, those tend to be.

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The most difficult one because

people are usually busy.

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And then often on Saturdays, I'll

still take my kids on an adventure.

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Or sometimes we'll go grocery shopping.

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And.

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There was a couple Saturdays ago

where we were at a splash pad and.

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I think I was already feeling just,

I don't know, kind of off that day.

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And.

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The kids are playing and

we're having fun and stuff.

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And.

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Every single family that was there.

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Was a family.

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There was a dad there, there

was a mom, a dad, and the kids.

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And I just started crying at the splash

pad because I was like, I want Matt to be

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here and, and kind of with that, like some

of the family things that we've gone to.

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My sweet three-year-old son will ask,

like, Well, why isn't my daddy here and

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why are other people's studies there and

do other people's daddies have seizures

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and well, why can't my daddy drive?

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And just like these.

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Heart-wrenching questions

that are, it's hard for him to

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process as a three-year-old.

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Why things are the way

they are and that's been.

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It's been hard.

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Like.

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And it's easy for me

to be like, well, like,

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It shouldn't be that hard because

I have all this babysitting

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support and people's husbands are

gone all the time for work and.

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You know, it's easy to get into that.

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Like, Gaslighting myself

about how I feel about things.

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And I've just had to accept like,

Some parts of this are really hard

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for me, even though they might

not be hard for other people.

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They're hard for me.

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And other parts of it that might

be really hard for other people.

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Haven't been especially hard, like.

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I don't know which parts.

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But.

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And a lot of ways it's been fine.

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And I'll also say with all this,

that's been like, Just just

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an adjustment time for myself.

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So my parents used to

live about an hour away.

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And then they recently moved to Texas.

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To serve as missionaries for the church

of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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And so that's been.

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An adjustment, not having them.

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Close by.

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To reach out to, and to rely on

for help and things like that.

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Oh, yeah.

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So I'm at the splash

pad and I start crying.

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And . I just was like, I feel so alone.

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I just.

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It's like so weird.

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It was like, even though I know

I have so many people in my life,

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like I want my person, like, I

want Matt to be here with us.

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And.

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So I am.

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I'm crying and my sweet kids.

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Oh, I think they like artists

so had started fighting too.

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And I was like, I'm just tired of

doing this by myself and always

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being the one that have to help them.

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So I started crying and.

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I think.

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It was my almost two year

old that noticed first.

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And she always says, what's up, what's up?

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Mommy, you feeling sad?

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I was like, yeah, I feel sad.

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And so then my three-year-old chimed in

and he said, why do you feel sad, mom?

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I said, I just feel alone.

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And he said, We can be with you.

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And I just, that made me sob even more.

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Cause they really do feel like they have

been my little buddies, you know, they.

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I spend most of my time with

my kids and they really have.

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You know, they they're, it's challenging

caregiving for kids that young with

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that many needs and they've been.

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So sweet and such a support to

me is as we're all navigating

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this time in our life.

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Okay.

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So.

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Last week.

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Matt.

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Went to the hospital and

it was, this was planned.

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It wasn't like an emergency thing.

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This had been planned.

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And it was for, it's called an

EMU and it's kind of like an EEG

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if you've ever heard of that.

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Where they hook up a lung.

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A bunch of electrodes.

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I think that's what it's called.

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To your head.

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And then they also had a, a video.

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Something on him.

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And then they were intentionally

wanted him to have seizures.

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So that they could.

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Get some data on where the seizures

were coming from and how they were.

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Happening.

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And I don't even know what else, but.

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They want a data about the seizures.

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Because.

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As a result of that

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it's possible that he'll be a candidate

for one of three types of surgeries that

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could help with his seizures and reduce.

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The seizures and improve

his quality of life.

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So one is called a vagal nerve

stimulator, vagus nerve stimulator.

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And that's where.

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If, you know, I'm sure you've

heard about the Vegas nerve

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seems really trendy right now.

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But something to do with waving

a magnet around that stimulator.

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When you're about to have a seizure it's

supposed to help prevent the seizure.

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Not totally sure.

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About any of these, like how they

actually work, but that's one option.

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And then another option is like a chip.

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I think they call it an ENS, maybe.

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And they put the chip in your head.

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And then it's supposed to learn.

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You're like brain.

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Signal patterns and your seizure patterns.

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And then it's supposedly helps.

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Like, if you're about to

have a seizure, it'll fire.

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Connection or something.

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So you don't have the seizure again?

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I don't know like exactly how it works.

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And then the third option would

be, so the part of his brain

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where he's having the seizures,

they would take part of that out.

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To see if that helps stop the seizures.

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So, those are kind of the options that.

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We are.

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Looking at right now, we're waiting for.

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The September conference where they'll.

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They have this.

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You know, this group of experts.

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Look at his data and then they'll

give us a recommendation based

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on the data they have from that.

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So that's why he went to

the hospital last week.

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And.

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My mother-in-law stayed with him.

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She came from Wyoming to be

with him in the hospital.

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And I was home with the kids.

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And Monday and Tuesday were great.

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Like.

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In all honesty, our life wasn't

that different because Matt

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can't help a ton right now.

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Anyways, at home.

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And so.

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Yeah, things really weren't

that different on those days.

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Except we FaceTimed with

Matt a ton because we wanted

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him to have a seizure and.

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We are.

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Loud and overstimulating, and that's

a great trigger for his seizures.

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So we got to FaceTime with him

a lot more than we usually get

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to interact with him at home.

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So that was really fun.

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And I was a little nervous

about my three-year-old.

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He can get.

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Quite aggressive.

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And Yeah, hitting and hurting.

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And so I was pretty nervous for that week

that because you know, daddy was going to

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be at the hospital and just how that's.

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Matz health has been a huge

trigger for my son's behavior.

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And so I was pretty nervous that he

was going to be quite aggressive.

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But he actually was.

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I would say like even better

behaved on that Monday and Tuesday.

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I mean, still like his normal things,

but it wasn't like extreme at all.

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But he was more sad, which for me,

it was a lot easier to comfort.

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A little boy who is sad and, you know,

kind of like the quivering lip and.

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I miss daddy and I feel sad.

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I want to see daddy, things like that.

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So that was actually.

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I don't know if good is the right word,

but it was, it felt a lot more manageable

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than I thought it was going to be.

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So that was Monday and

Tuesday, Monday and Tuesday.

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Matt had a ton of.

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Partial seizures while he would

like blink out for a few seconds,

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but no grand mal seizures.

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And.

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Then Wednesday morning.

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We were driving down about half

an hour away to go raspberry,

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picking with some friends.

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And my mother-in-law.

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Called to let me know that

Matt had had a grandma seizure

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and she said it was much more.

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To as much as she said, it was much longer

than any of his other grandma seizures

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have been usually his or about a minute.

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And this one was over two minutes.

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And he turned blue and they had

to give him oxygen and she seemed.

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I don't know if shaken up as the

right word, but she just seemed.

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She just said, this

was., This was the most.

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Intense seizures of his

that she'd ever seen.

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And she has seen quite a few of his

she's been around for a lot of them.

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So.

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We get to the like go

raspberry picking and.

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In my mind, I'm like, oh yeah, like

we've been wanting that to have a

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grandma seizure so they can get the data.

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Like this is what was supposed to happen,

but my body was like, Panicky and shaky.

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And I don't know if shaky is

the right word, but just like.

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Kind of in that shock mode, which is how

I usually feel after he has a seizure.

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But I was, I was feeling that way,

even though mentally, I was like, well,

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this is what was supposed to happen.

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And he's safe in the hospital.

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Like there's no better

way for this to happen.

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So it was kind of a weird experience.

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It's a little bit out of it while.

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Raspberry picking thankfully had.

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Some good friends there to.

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Kind of check in with and.

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Such.

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And then.

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After we finished raspberry

picking, we went to a nearby park.

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Also with a group of friends.

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And I was like pretty out

of it that whole time.

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I was just, just kind of trying

to process what was going on.

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And I got another text that Matt

had another grand mal seizure,

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which was not supposed to happen.

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I mean, it was fine cause he

was still in the hospital, but.

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It can.

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I don't know.

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Yeah, it can be bad if you

have too many seizures.

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And so that one really threw me off

and I was feeling like, well, did the.

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The people at the hospital pushed him

too hard and as he safe and he also,

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that one was also like they had to give

him medicine to stop it and always just.

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It's just scary.

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I don't know.

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Having your husband go

through something like that.

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And so I was, I was just kind of

shaken up from that whole experience.

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So I just, I stayed at the

park for, until like, 2:00 PM.

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Because I didn't want

to go home and be alone.

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To process.

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And I knew I had a babysitter coming

up three, and so I let my kids just

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nap in the car on the way home.

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And then I.

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Babysitter came and I had a, was

supposed to have a call with.

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A friend.

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Actually Krista Cookham who she was on my

podcast before about bullet journaling.

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And.

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So I kind of told her

what was going on and.

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Processed a little bit there.

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And talked about whatever

we needed to talk about.

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I don't even remember.

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So then I it's like.

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Four o'clock and.

436

:

I have an hour left to get work done.

437

:

And I think I was going to record a

podcast episode, but I could not focus.

438

:

Like I was just feeling so.

439

:

I didn't even know what I was feeling.

440

:

That was half the problem.

441

:

I was like, why am I so.

442

:

Off about all of this.

443

:

So I.

444

:

I spent about 15 minutes bumbling

around trying to get stuff done and

445

:

not being productive and realized

like, oh, this is not the time to work.

446

:

My body needs to go take a break

and my mind needs to take a break.

447

:

So I.

448

:

I spent the rest of my time

that my babysitter was there.

449

:

I went on a walk and called my

sister and she helped me process.

450

:

And.

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:

That was those really good.

452

:

Then.

453

:

Thursday.

454

:

The next day.

455

:

Matt once he went 24 hours without

having a grand mal seizure,

456

:

then he was able to come home.

457

:

So he came home on Thursday

and his mother-in-law.

458

:

Brought him back and that was.

459

:

Just really happy and really sweet.

460

:

My, my son really, really loves

his dad and he missed him a lot.

461

:

So that was a sweet reunion.

462

:

Oh, and it was so interesting because so.

463

:

They got home.

464

:

I want to say it was like 1:00 PM or

something like that, which is usually

465

:

when my daughter goes down for her

nap and my son starts quiet time.

466

:

And so that's typically

when I get some work done.

467

:

And so I, I had been planning to work.

468

:

But then, , so my daughter had

already gone down for her nap.

469

:

My mother-in-law went to take a nap.

470

:

And then Matt and Becca and I were

sitting around the table together.

471

:

And.

472

:

Becca.

473

:

I'm really wanting to spend

some time with Matt and that.

474

:

He's feeling kind of unsteady,

but he said he felt safe enough

475

:

to, to spend time with Becca.

476

:

And so I was thinking, I was like, okay,

well maybe I'll go get some work done.

477

:

And I just had this

moment of like, Y like.

478

:

For what reason would I go?

479

:

Try to get work done.

480

:

When I have this moment with like my

husband and my son who I have been

481

:

craving time with, like, why would I.

482

:

Why would I go do that?

483

:

When.

484

:

Like what's my business for if, if I'm

not really fishing in this time with.

485

:

My family.

486

:

And so.

487

:

I didn't work that day.

488

:

And I spent time with.

489

:

Matt and Beckam, and just had a really.

490

:

I don't know, sweet time.

491

:

I don't even remember what we did maybe.

492

:

Oh, I know my sweet friend

had brought some cake and ice

493

:

cream over the night before.

494

:

And so we all ate cake and ice

cream together and it was so

495

:

yummy and it was so fun and just.

496

:

I feel like I, I appreciate simple

things so much more now where I'm

497

:

like, We're spending time together.

498

:

Like this is so special.

499

:

And that's been really sweet.

500

:

So, I don't know.

501

:

I feel like, again, this was

kind of just a random episode

502

:

giving you update on my life.

503

:

But.

504

:

It was so interesting, like.

505

:

You know, I hardly worked last week.

506

:

But.

507

:

I had four.

508

:

I don't know if random is the right

word, but for random people reach out

509

:

to me asking if they could work with me.

510

:

And I also, you know, how to launch

coming up this week because the launch

511

:

opened today, the cart opened today

to sign up for this group program.

512

:

And.

513

:

It's just interesting that like,

Your business is working, even

514

:

if you're not working on it.

515

:

That moment, like, I think Thursday

was a perfect example where like,

516

:

Even Wednesday and Thursday,

like I didn't spend.

517

:

Hardly any time.

518

:

Thinking or working on my business.

519

:

But last week I had.

520

:

Several people.

521

:

Reach out to me from.

522

:

Work I've put in for.

523

:

The last year, you know,

it's like, I don't know.

524

:

So if you're in a phase where you feel

like you're always supposed to be working.

525

:

Or need to be working just trust in

the work that you've already put in.

526

:

Because it works.

527

:

It's making a difference.

528

:

And if it's not working.

529

:

This like reach out to me and we can

talk about some tweaks you can make

530

:

to, to make sure that the small amount

of time you do put into your business.

531

:

Is is working for you and

is making a difference.

532

:

And again, I'll just say.

533

:

If you're in a season of life where.

534

:

Your.

535

:

Dealing with some

challenging health problems.

536

:

If you have really young kids, If you.

537

:

Have older kids who have a

lot of needs and demands.

538

:

If you.

539

:

Are working through your own things.

540

:

If you're just a normal human who.

541

:

Who doesn't have a ton of time to work on

your business, but you would love to be.

542

:

Legit and you would love

to consistently make money.

543

:

And you're just trying to figure

out how to make that work.

544

:

I've designed the serenity for you.

545

:

And I'll link in the show notes.

546

:

Again, it's 2 83 a month there.

547

:

10 spots total.

548

:

Last time I checked, four

of those spots were filled.

549

:

And I would love to connect

with you on a deeper level,

550

:

if that's a good fit for you.

551

:

Oh, and something I don't think

I mentioned earlier is you also

552

:

get unlimited Voxer support.

553

:

So that's where you can message me.

554

:

Any day, any time to get answers

to questions or help with

555

:

things or things like that.

556

:

So.

557

:

I I'm glad to have you here.

558

:

Thanks for if you made it to the end.

559

:

Thanks for listening to my

random blabbering about my life.

560

:

We'll talk to you next week.

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About the Podcast

Mindful with Media
This is the podcast for entrepreneurial moms who want to grow a meaningful, profitable business without sacrificing their other priorities (like spending time with their kids or getting enough sleep).

Host Alex Fales—business coach, mindset mentor, and mom—shares honest conversations, simple strategies, and powerful mindset shifts to help you and make money doing work you love and grow as a person while you're at it.

Expect solo episodes, authentic chats, and real-life stories that help you blend business strategy with personal growth, so you can build a business that supports your life (not the other way around).

Because you don’t need more hustle.
You need clarity, confidence, and the courage to do business your way.