74 | Finding time to sleep as a business owner (rerelease)
Listen to today's episode for 10 tips to make it easier to go to bed on time (without sacrificing business success).
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Transcript
I'm Alex, and you're listening to the Mindful with Media podcast.
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:Today's podcast episode is Rerun
from one of my most popular episodes.
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:It's from August of 2023.
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:So about a year and a half ago.
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:And it's all about how to make
yourself go to bed on time.
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:And.
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:This is one thing that I have
noticed that makes me pretty
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:different from most business owners.
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:Is that.
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:Aye.
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:Never just wanted to make
good money for my business.
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:Aye.
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:I wanted to make good money and I have
made good money, but I wanted to do it
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:in a way that was fulfilling for me.
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:And without sacrificing other
things that are important to me.
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:So like sleep.
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:Like I talk about in this episode
also adventuring with my kids,
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:many of you know, that I do the
:
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:it's really important to me too.
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:Run and take care of my body and just so
many more things than just my business.
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:And so.
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:I have a new program that
is starting tomorrow.
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:It's a four week program
called flourish by design.
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:And this is where I'm going to
help you do this in your business.
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:Create schedules and systems
that are personalized to you so
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:that you will make more money.
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:And more importantly than
that is you'll spend more of
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:your time doing what you love.
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:And in the future, this program
will be around $500, but I'm
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:running a beta group for only $97.
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:And so I'll put the link in
the show notes to sign up.
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:Without further ado here
is a rerun of episode, 20.
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:How to make yourself go to bed on time.
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:Today, we're going to be talking about
how to make yourself go to bed on time.
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:Today, we're talking about a
topic that I'm probably even
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:more passionate about then.
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:Being intentional with
our phones and screens.
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:And that is sleep and.
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:It's actually very related, like our phone
use and I scream, use and sleep so we'll
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:get into that a little bit later, but.
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:I have always been like this.
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:I've always been really
passionate about going to bed
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:early and getting enough sleep.
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:I was the nerd in high school and college
who would leave parties early to go
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:to bed because I really value going to
bed on time and getting enough sleep.
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:And anybody who knows me
personally knows this about me.
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:And there are a few reasons why
I'm this way and why I care so
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:much about going to bed on time.
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:First of all, I am much less
productive at night, so.
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:When I do try to get things
done at night, especially things
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:that take more brainpower.
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:I.
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:I am way less efficient.
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:So it doesn't really make sense
for me to do things at night.
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:And if I stay up later, then.
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:My bedtime.
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:It's a lot harder for
me to make decisions.
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:Like I experienced a lot
more decision fatigue.
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:And so I ended up wasting more time and.
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:Everything feels more urgent.
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:At night, everything.
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:just feels like a bigger deal.
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:And I get way more worked up about things.
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:And then it's harder for me to fall
asleep because I'm wound up from
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:the things I've been working on.
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:So if I don't go to bed on time and
I stay up and work on something,
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:which I will occasionally do.
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:I find that it's even harder for me to
fall asleep because I'm out of my routine.
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:And so I'll get into later
about like how to actually make
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:yourself go to bed on time.
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:But when I do get enough sleep, I am
so much more productive the next day.
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:So it doesn't even make
sense for me to stay up.
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:The night before and
get things done because.
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:Not only am I more productive, but I'm
less grumpy and I'm way more patient
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:with my kids and with myself and with
other people, when I get enough sleep.
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:And it's kind of a way to fill my cup.
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:So that I can be there for my
family and for other people.
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:And I'm also way less likely
to have panic attacks.
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:So there are seasons of my life
where I wasn't as, , intentional and
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:diligent about going to bed on time.
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:My anxiety was way worse.
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:So.
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:I've decided that for me,
Sleep is a huge priority.
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:So I let a lot of other
things go because of that.
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:When I was in college, I
got a lot of pushback for.
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:Getting so much sleep.
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:I don't know what it was,
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:I think that our society is getting
better at this, but generally,
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:I believe that our society does
not prioritize sleep enough.
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:I think.
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:When we sleep a lot that can be
seen as lazy or the opposite.
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:Like when we.
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:Are really productive or
get a lot of things done.
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:Then
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:That's really valued to be a really
hard worker and get a lot done and
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:maybe to sacrifice, sleep where.
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:I, I don't believe that.
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:I believe that sleep is really
important and to be willing to.
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:Set things aside and willing to
go to bed and get enough sleep and
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:care for your body in that way.
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:That's really admirable.
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:As well.
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:So that's just my 2 cents.
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:That's what I believe.
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:But anyways, during this time in college,
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:I read a book called why we sleep.
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:I think it's by Matthew Walker.
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:And, I actually don't
remember a ton from the book.
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:But if you do need some convincing that
sleep should be a huge priority in your
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:life, then that book is a good read.
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:And he also shares some practical
tips to help you get more sleep.
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:, but I'll just share a
little quote from, okay.
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:Kind of a long quote from that book,
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:. So he claims.
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:Routinely sleeping less than
six or seven hours a night.
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:Demolishes your immune system more
than doubling your risk of cancer.
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:Insufficient sleep is a key lifestyle
factor determining whether or not
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:you will develop Alzheimer's disease
and adequate sleep, even moderate
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:reductions for just one week.
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:Disrupts blood sugar levels
so profoundly that you would
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:be classified as pre-diabetic.
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:Short sleeping increases the likelihood
of your coronary arteries becoming
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:blocked and brittle setting you on a
path toward cardiovascular disease,
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:stroke and congestive heart failure.
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:Fitting Charlotte Bronte's
prophetic wisdom that a ruffled
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:mine makes a restless pillow sleep.
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:Disruption further contributes to all
major psychiatric conditions, including
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:depression, anxiety, and suicidality.
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:Perhaps you have also noticed desire
to eat more when you're tired.
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:This is no coincidence,
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:too little sleep swells concentrations
of a hormone that makes you feel hungry
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:while suppressing a companion hormone
that otherwise signals food satisfaction.
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:Despite being full, you
still want to eat more.
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:It's a proven recipe for weight
gain and sleep deficient,
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:adults and children alike worse.
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:Should you attempt to diet, but don't get
enough sleep while doing so it is feudal.
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:Since most of the weight you'll lose
will come from lean body mass, not fat.
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:Anyways.
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:There's a little bit extreme, I don't
like scare tactics, whether that's
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:for anything to improve your health.
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:So.
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:Don't let that freak you out.
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:Honestly, my main motivations for
getting enough sleep are for
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:how I feel overall as a person.
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:My, I don't know my day-to-day life.
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:I want to feel good.
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:So today I'm going to be sharing what
works for me and what helps me to
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:actually make myself go to bed on time.
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:I just want to acknowledge
that the transition.
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:To bedtime and that transition to
going to bed, it's really hard.
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:And it's actually really uncomfortable
that transitioned to going to bed.
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:And that concept might seem kind of silly,
but I really believe that it's true.
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:And I've been trying to put my
finger on why it's so uncomfortable
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:that transition to bedtime.
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:But I think transitions in general
are just uncomfortable because there
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:are some unknowns and with bedtime
specifically your day probably
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:didn't go exactly as planned.
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:And you may not have gotten everything
done that you wanted to, and there
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:might be some disappointment there.
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:And accepting that your
day is over, can be hard.
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:You're also trying to process your day at
this time, and that can be uncomfortable.
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:And you're anticipating the next day.
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:And again, The unknowns of
a new day are uncomfortable.
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:And if you're like me, there's always
one more thing you can do at night.
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:And you're trying to decide what to do.
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:So there's like this decision fatigue
of, should you relax or should you
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:do something productive or she do.
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:Try to get all the things on your to-do
list done, or should you just go to bed?
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:Another thing that can make this
transition to bedtime challenging is
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:the process of getting ready for bed.
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:Might be tedious.
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:I really don't like washing my face.
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:I don't know why, but that's like
one part of my bedtime routine
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:that I I'm still working on.
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:I'm like actually doing consistently.
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:So tonight as you are approaching bedtime.
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:Just really take a step back and
think about these three questions.
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:So one, why are you
resisting, going to bed?
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:To what about this transition
is uncomfortable for you?
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:And then three.
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:Practice allowing yourself
to feel uncomfortable.
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:And this is hard.
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:Like I've been practicing this a lot
in all different aspects of my life.
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:, but some ways that you can practice
feeling uncomfortable is too.
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:Identify where in your body
you're feeling the discomfort.
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:Is it in your stomach?
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:Is it in your chest?
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:Is it in your head?
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:And then what thoughts
are you having with this?
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:. Um, comfortableness.
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:Is that a word?
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:These feelings of discomfort.
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:So this transition to
bedtime, that's uncomfortable.
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:If you have a really clear plan.
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:And you know exactly when you're
going to go to bed and exactly
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:what you're going to do before Bed.
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:Then you don't have to experience
this decision fatigue every night Like
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:you know when you're thinking should
i stay up and do this one more thing
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:is it okay to leave my house messy?
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:is it okay to do something relaxing
even though i didn't finish everything i
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:wanted to do today so all those thoughts
that you're having you're going to
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:decide once And then Nighttime won't be
so stressful anymore because you won't
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:have to make those decisions every night
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:So, if you have been in this late
night cycle for a while, then you've
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:probably experienced this will
actually, I don't know if yeah,
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:but this is what happens to me.
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:Where.
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:I go to bed late.
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:And then.
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:I get up the next
morning and I'm so tired.
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:And I say to my husband, Matt,
Remind me to go to bed early tonight.
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:And then it gets denied time.
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:And.
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:It gets to the time that I.
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:Want to go to bed because I know
that I'll feel better in the morning.
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:But then I feel good then.
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:And I I feel awake.
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:And so I want to get all these things done
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:.
And it's nice to finally have some alone time where my kids don't need me.
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:So I actually have some time
to get some things done.
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:And then I go to bed late and then
I get up early the next morning
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:again, and I'm like, okay, I
got to go to bed early tonight.
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:And I just get in this cycle
and I'm like, This is not how
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:I want to be living my life.
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:So.
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:How do you get out of
this late night cycle?
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:Kind of, like I said
earlier, you have to decide.
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:A time that you want to go to bed and
that will be different for every person.
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:I know I go to bed weirdly early.
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:Like I get ready for bed
at eight 30 and then.
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:Start reading in my bed at nine.
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:And then.
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:It's all asleep.
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:9 9 30, depending on how tired I am.
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:. It doesn't really matter what time it is.
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:It's just whatever time
you want to go to bed.
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:And then once you've decided that time.
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:Then , ask yourself what things do
you find yourself doing at night
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:after you wanted to go to bed?
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:So like, Are you cleaning or doing
projects that you didn't get to during
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:the day or texting people back or planning
things or working, or are you watching
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:a show or scrolling on your phone and.
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:Just figure out what you're
actually doing at night.
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:And then think about when
else can you do those things?
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:So if it's something like.
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:Scrolling on your phone that
isn't necessary, but it's not
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:bad to scroll on your phone.
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:When can you plan a time
to scroll on your phone?
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:Maybe you schedule a time.
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:15 minutes after your kids go to bed to.
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:Scroll or , Maybe it's cleaning
that you're not getting to during
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:the day that's happening at night.
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:Can you hire somebody to clean?
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:Can you hire someone in your neighborhood
to come watch your kids for a few hours.
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:So you can clean.
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:Or can you do a trade, a
babysitting trade with a friend.
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:So you have that time to clean.
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:Like for me, I didn't want to be
staying up late working anymore.
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:And so I have hired a.
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:Girl that I know in my neighborhood
that watches my kids for six
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:hours a week so that I don't have
to work late at night anymore.
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:And I can go to bed on time again.
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:And I just want to reiterate here
that there will always be something
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:that you want to be doing at night.
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:At least I haven't
found a way out of this.
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:That there's always one more
thing that I could be doing.
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:But I've just decided what's
really important to me and what
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:really matters and made sure that
I can do that in my day to day.
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:Life So If you've been on a late night
cycle for a while, and then you're
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:trying to go to bed earlier again.
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:It can be really hard
to actually fall asleep.
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:So my first tip to help
you actually fall asleep.
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:If like you get in bed and you
know, you want to be sleeping, but
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:you can't actually fall asleep.
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:Is first to not stress about it.
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:And I know this is way easier said than
done, but it's actually really good
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:for your body to just rest and think.
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:And this is really uncomfortable,
especially because we in this
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:day and age are always used to.
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:Doing something, whether that's like
having stimulation or input from our
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:phones or to listening to something or.
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:, getting something done.
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:So it can be really hard to just
lay there and do nothing, especially
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:because I'm sure you have plenty
of things you want to be doing.
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:But , my first tip is
to just let yourself.
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:Do nothing and just lay
in bed and it's okay.
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:If you're not sleeping, that's
really healthy for your body.
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:Another thing that can be helpful
is to not look at the clock.
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:I know it can be really stressful
if you're trying to fall asleep
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:and you just keep looking like.
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:Oh, my gosh.
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:It's been taking me.
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:Half an hour now, an hour now,
two hours, like it's taking
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:me so long to fall asleep.
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:So if you can, don't look at the clock.
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:, because that can make you overthink.
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:Another thing that I'll do, if I can't
fall asleep is all countdown from 500.
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:So like, 500, 499, 498, 497.
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:And it's like counting sheep, right?
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:Like they say, but that can just help you.
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:Have something to do with your
mind, but not stress about life.
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:Like I tend to do when
I'm trying to fall asleep.
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:, this is another thing that's
really random, but this is
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:actually how I fall asleep.
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:I like to think of a baby name.
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:For each gender that
starts with each letter.
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:So like a.
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:Ariana and.
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:Anson.
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:B.
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:Brielle and.
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:Brigham.
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:I don't know, like I'll just go
through and think of baby names.
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:I promise I'm not pregnant.
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:I just always have loved baby names
and love thinking about names.
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:, . That just as something that gets
my mind off of things, but it gives
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:my mind something to think about
so I can actually fall asleep.
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:I've also heard of this idea when.
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:You're trying to fall asleep at night
and your brain starts processing
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:your day, which is normal.
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:And there are some good things about that.
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:It can be helpful to
treat it like a movie.
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:So As scenes play in your
mind, like slow it down.
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:Try to play it in reverse.
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:Anyways, I've never actually tried
that, but that's worth a shot.
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:Another thing that's really
helps me to actually fall asleep.
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:If I'm having a really hard
time, sleeping is insight timer.
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:So this is a free app on your phone and
they have like free meditations and stuff.
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:I've actually never used the
meditations, but I love using
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:them to help me fall asleep.
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:, They have ones that are specifically
designed to help you fall asleep.
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:So if you get the app, it's called
insight timer, and then you go to sleep.
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:And then tracks.
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:And then I like to filter it by lengths.
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:So.
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:You can choose how long you want.
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:The things to be, and then they
have tons of different meditations.
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:Like the perfect way to get to sleep or.
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:Guided meditation for
sleep or things like that.
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:So that can help calm my mind
down if I'm really worked up.
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:It can get me in a better mood to sleep.
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:And I don't sleep with my
phone in my room anymore.
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:I used to.
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:Have my phone right by my bed.
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:So I would just play it on my phone.
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:I rarely use insight timer anymore.
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:But every once in a while, if I'm really
worked up, I'll ask Matt to play on his
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:phone because his phone is in our room.
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:So.
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:There's probably an alternative way.
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:If you don't like to have your
phone in your room to do the,
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:on some other sort of device.
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:I will look into that.
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:The key for.
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:Helping yourself to actually fall asleep.
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:On time or when you're
trying to go to bed early.
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:Is to not let yourself
do anything productive.
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:So if you're having a really hard
time falling asleep, it's okay to
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:get up and do something relaxing.
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:So like take a bath or read a
book or listen to an audio book.
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:But my two pieces of advice are don't.
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:Let yourself do anything on your phone.
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:Do not look at your phone.
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:Even if it's like productive, like it's
not just wasting time on there, whatever.
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:I would just stay away from your phone.
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:And then the second thing is
don't let it be productive.
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:Because.
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:When you're making
yourself go to bed early.
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:You're training your mind and your body,
that this is the time to rest and relax.
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:So if you start doing things that
are productive, then your mind and
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:your body is going to want to keep
doing things that are productive.
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:At that time.
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:But just do anything that's
restful and relaxing.
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:And I'm pretty strict about this.
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:Like, this is probably backward
from maybe what you've heard.
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:But if I have an idea, come to my
mind after my bedtime, whether that's
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:to text someone or plan something, or
like a content idea for my business.
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:Aye.
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:Don't write it down or
do anything with it.
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:I just let it come.
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:And I believe in God.
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:And so I pray and I ask God, If it's
important to help me remember at
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:another time, because this is my time
to rest again, that might not work
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:for you, but that helps me to just.
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:Bedtime is bedtime and
it's not for anything else.
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:So you'll find something that works
for you, but I thought I would
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:just share my nighttime routine.
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:So after we get the kids to bed.
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:We clean up the kitchen and it
kind of depends if Matt does it,
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:or if I do it before you do it
together, kind of depending on.
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:How our kids go to bed.
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:. And the level of cleanliness
of our kitchen totally
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:depends on my energy levels.
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:Like if I'm feeling great,
I'll do the whole thing.
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:If I'm really exhausted, I'll just do.
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:The base level of getting the dishwasher
started and getting the food put away.
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:And then,
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:I'll usually spend some
time responding to texts.
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:Just doing all those things that
are hard to do on your phone when
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:you're with your kids all day.
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:And then when I finished that,
I'll plug my phone in the kitchen..
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:So this is usually around like,
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:I don't know.
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:Seven 30 or eight at this point.
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:I'll plug my phone in the kitchen and
then I'll go get ready for bed right then.
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:So I have a very short,
bedtime routine, like.
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:As short as possible because.
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:I kind of dread getting ready for bed.
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:So I just want to make it as
easy as possible for myself.
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:So take out my contacts,
floss, brush my teeth.
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:I'm trying to get better
at washing my face.
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:And then after I finished getting
ready for bed, then I can do
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:something again, whether that's.
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:Work or do something for myself or.
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:Work on a project.
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:I don't know, do whatever it is.
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:And this is something that would probably
help my evenings be more fulfilling.
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:And again, that concept of.
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:Taking away decision
fatigue is to decide once.
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:So maybe have certain evenings for
cleaning or certain evenings for
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:working or certain evenings for doing
something fun or certain evenings for.
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:During my church service.
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:And this actually totally applies to our
phone use because when we don't know what
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:to do, it's really easy to just go on our
phone It's uncomfortable trying to decide
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:how to use that time so turning to our
phone we're really likely to do that if
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:we don't have something already planned so
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:It probably helped for me to
actually decide what I do on what
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:nights, but right now I don't
have anything like that set up.
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:But then my cutoff time is eight 30.
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:So.
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:At eight 30, if I am working on
something or doing something.
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:That's my time when I kind of have like
a soft cutoff and then a hard cutoff.
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:So like eight 30 is when I'm like,
okay, like I want to start getting
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:ready for bed, but if I'm in the
middle of something, I'll finish it up.
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:But.
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:Definitely before nine is when I need to
wrap things up and set aside, even if I
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:didn't finish what I wanted to finish.
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:Having that cutoff time and then having
a really clear plan of what I'll do.
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:So.
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:Aye.
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:Pray.
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:And if I have thoughts while I'm
praying, I'll write those in the journal
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:that I have right next to my bed.
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:And actually.
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:For a while.
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:I didn't pray at all at night because.
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:When I would pray, I would talk with
God about my day and then I would
448
:start stressing about everything right
before I wanted to fall asleep and
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:it would just get my brain worked up.
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:So.
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:When I noticed that started
happening, then I would pray earlier
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:around like six or seven while
I was feeding my baby to sleep.
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:And that was a better time for me
to connect with God about my day.
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:And then after I pray and journal,
then I like to read on my Kindle
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:right before you fall asleep.
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:So I really like having a Kindle.
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:And I know reading at night.
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:Especially like right before you fall
asleep, won't work for everyone because.
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:A lot of you.
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:Get so sucked into books that
it might keep you up longer.
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:Um, but there are other
things that you could try.
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:You could try listening to an audio book.
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:You could try.
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:Listening to music.
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:Just, I like having something
to look forward to at night,
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:right before I fall asleep.
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:So for me, I like to read.
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:Right before I fall asleep
and then I'll read until.
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:I feel a little more tired
and then I'll fall asleep.
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:So I just want to give a recap on some
of the things that can help you to
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:actually make yourself go to bed on time.
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:I think the number one most helpful
thing is to choose a clear cutoff
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:time for doing anything productive.
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:So for me, that's eight 30.
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:And then kind of along those same
lines, go to bed at the same time
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:every night, even if you're not
falling asleep or you're not tired.
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:Just choose a time to start
relaxing and doing calming things.
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:And then also.
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:Get up at the same time every day.
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:And if you're like me, it's
really hard to be motivated to
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:actually make yourself get up.
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:So I either have my kids wake me up.
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:Or I've started a walking
slash running group.
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:And if I know somebody is waiting
for me, then that's really
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:motivating for me to get up.
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:It can be really helpful to have a
clear bedtime routine and make that as
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:simple as possible so that you aren't
supposed to be doing all these things
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:at night when that's already a hard
transition and a hard time of day.
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:Charge your phone outside of your room?
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:I don't think I talked about
this enough earlier, but.
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:Charging my phone outside of my
room has made such a big difference.
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:It can be really easy for me at night
to get caught up in like texting all
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:those people and making all these plans
and like getting to all the things
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:on my phone that I didn't do before.
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:And I do do that.
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:That's part of my nighttime routine.
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:But then I plugged my phone in.
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:And it's a way, and then.
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:When I'm laying in bed and I have ideas.
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:I don't just grab my phone and do it real
quick because it's downstairs away from me
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:and I really can just rest and recharge.
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:That's been a huge thing for me.
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:Another helpful tip is to get ready
for bed way before you're tired.
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:Because nobody wants to get ready
for bed when they're actually
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:supposed to be falling asleep.
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:So just get ready for bed way earlier,
and then you can work on other things.
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:So then it's way easier just to.
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:Fall asleep when you're ready.
509
:Another helpful tip is to have
something you're excited about.
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:Right before you fall asleep to
have something to look forward to
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:to make that transition easier.
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:That could be watching a show or
reading a book or listening to music.
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:And the last tip that I want to touch
on before we end today, is that if
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:there are certain things that you find
yourself frequently doing after you want
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:to go to bed, Then get creative about
a different time that you can do that.
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:And when that can happen.
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:So this could be.
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:Involving your kids in cleaning or hiring
help or doing a trade of some sort.
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:And then also just letting it go.
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:And knowing that what's
important will get done.
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:And then finally, to embrace
the discomfort of transitioning
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:to bedtime, that this can be a
hard transition and just allowing
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:yourself to feel uncomfortable.
524
:I would love to hear if any of these
tips work for you and if you still
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:have any concerns or questions, Of
things that makes it hard for you
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:to make yourself go to bed on time.
527
:Then please DM me on Instagram
and I am more than happy to chat.
528
:Thank you so much for listening.
529
:One of the best ways that you can
support me so that i can keep creating
530
:content is to send this to a friend
and share it with somebody else
531
:We'll talk to you next week