Episode 74

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Published on:

29th Jan 2025

74 | Finding time to sleep as a business owner (rerelease)

Listen to today's episode for 10 tips to make it easier to go to bed on time (without sacrificing business success).

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Transcript
Speaker:

I'm Alex, and you're listening to the Mindful with Media podcast.

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Today's podcast episode is Rerun

from one of my most popular episodes.

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It's from August of 2023.

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So about a year and a half ago.

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And it's all about how to make

yourself go to bed on time.

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And.

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This is one thing that I have

noticed that makes me pretty

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different from most business owners.

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Is that.

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Aye.

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Never just wanted to make

good money for my business.

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Aye.

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I wanted to make good money and I have

made good money, but I wanted to do it

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in a way that was fulfilling for me.

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And without sacrificing other

things that are important to me.

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So like sleep.

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Like I talk about in this episode

also adventuring with my kids,

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many of you know, that I do the

:

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it's really important to me too.

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Run and take care of my body and just so

many more things than just my business.

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And so.

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I have a new program that

is starting tomorrow.

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It's a four week program

called flourish by design.

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And this is where I'm going to

help you do this in your business.

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Create schedules and systems

that are personalized to you so

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that you will make more money.

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And more importantly than

that is you'll spend more of

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your time doing what you love.

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And in the future, this program

will be around $500, but I'm

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running a beta group for only $97.

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And so I'll put the link in

the show notes to sign up.

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Without further ado here

is a rerun of episode, 20.

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How to make yourself go to bed on time.

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Today, we're going to be talking about

how to make yourself go to bed on time.

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Today, we're talking about a

topic that I'm probably even

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more passionate about then.

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Being intentional with

our phones and screens.

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And that is sleep and.

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It's actually very related, like our phone

use and I scream, use and sleep so we'll

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get into that a little bit later, but.

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I have always been like this.

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I've always been really

passionate about going to bed

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early and getting enough sleep.

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I was the nerd in high school and college

who would leave parties early to go

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to bed because I really value going to

bed on time and getting enough sleep.

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And anybody who knows me

personally knows this about me.

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And there are a few reasons why

I'm this way and why I care so

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much about going to bed on time.

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First of all, I am much less

productive at night, so.

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When I do try to get things

done at night, especially things

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that take more brainpower.

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I.

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I am way less efficient.

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So it doesn't really make sense

for me to do things at night.

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And if I stay up later, then.

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My bedtime.

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It's a lot harder for

me to make decisions.

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Like I experienced a lot

more decision fatigue.

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And so I ended up wasting more time and.

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Everything feels more urgent.

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At night, everything.

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just feels like a bigger deal.

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And I get way more worked up about things.

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And then it's harder for me to fall

asleep because I'm wound up from

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the things I've been working on.

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So if I don't go to bed on time and

I stay up and work on something,

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which I will occasionally do.

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I find that it's even harder for me to

fall asleep because I'm out of my routine.

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And so I'll get into later

about like how to actually make

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yourself go to bed on time.

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But when I do get enough sleep, I am

so much more productive the next day.

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So it doesn't even make

sense for me to stay up.

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The night before and

get things done because.

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Not only am I more productive, but I'm

less grumpy and I'm way more patient

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with my kids and with myself and with

other people, when I get enough sleep.

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And it's kind of a way to fill my cup.

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So that I can be there for my

family and for other people.

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And I'm also way less likely

to have panic attacks.

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So there are seasons of my life

where I wasn't as, , intentional and

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diligent about going to bed on time.

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My anxiety was way worse.

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So.

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I've decided that for me,

Sleep is a huge priority.

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So I let a lot of other

things go because of that.

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When I was in college, I

got a lot of pushback for.

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Getting so much sleep.

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I don't know what it was,

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I think that our society is getting

better at this, but generally,

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I believe that our society does

not prioritize sleep enough.

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I think.

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When we sleep a lot that can be

seen as lazy or the opposite.

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Like when we.

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Are really productive or

get a lot of things done.

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Then

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That's really valued to be a really

hard worker and get a lot done and

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maybe to sacrifice, sleep where.

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I, I don't believe that.

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I believe that sleep is really

important and to be willing to.

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Set things aside and willing to

go to bed and get enough sleep and

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care for your body in that way.

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That's really admirable.

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As well.

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So that's just my 2 cents.

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That's what I believe.

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But anyways, during this time in college,

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I read a book called why we sleep.

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I think it's by Matthew Walker.

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And, I actually don't

remember a ton from the book.

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But if you do need some convincing that

sleep should be a huge priority in your

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life, then that book is a good read.

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And he also shares some practical

tips to help you get more sleep.

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, but I'll just share a

little quote from, okay.

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Kind of a long quote from that book,

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. So he claims.

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Routinely sleeping less than

six or seven hours a night.

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Demolishes your immune system more

than doubling your risk of cancer.

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Insufficient sleep is a key lifestyle

factor determining whether or not

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you will develop Alzheimer's disease

and adequate sleep, even moderate

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reductions for just one week.

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Disrupts blood sugar levels

so profoundly that you would

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be classified as pre-diabetic.

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Short sleeping increases the likelihood

of your coronary arteries becoming

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blocked and brittle setting you on a

path toward cardiovascular disease,

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stroke and congestive heart failure.

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Fitting Charlotte Bronte's

prophetic wisdom that a ruffled

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mine makes a restless pillow sleep.

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Disruption further contributes to all

major psychiatric conditions, including

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depression, anxiety, and suicidality.

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Perhaps you have also noticed desire

to eat more when you're tired.

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This is no coincidence,

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too little sleep swells concentrations

of a hormone that makes you feel hungry

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while suppressing a companion hormone

that otherwise signals food satisfaction.

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Despite being full, you

still want to eat more.

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It's a proven recipe for weight

gain and sleep deficient,

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adults and children alike worse.

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Should you attempt to diet, but don't get

enough sleep while doing so it is feudal.

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Since most of the weight you'll lose

will come from lean body mass, not fat.

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Anyways.

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There's a little bit extreme, I don't

like scare tactics, whether that's

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for anything to improve your health.

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So.

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Don't let that freak you out.

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Honestly, my main motivations for

getting enough sleep are for

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how I feel overall as a person.

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My, I don't know my day-to-day life.

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I want to feel good.

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So today I'm going to be sharing what

works for me and what helps me to

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actually make myself go to bed on time.

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I just want to acknowledge

that the transition.

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To bedtime and that transition to

going to bed, it's really hard.

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And it's actually really uncomfortable

that transitioned to going to bed.

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And that concept might seem kind of silly,

but I really believe that it's true.

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And I've been trying to put my

finger on why it's so uncomfortable

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that transition to bedtime.

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But I think transitions in general

are just uncomfortable because there

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are some unknowns and with bedtime

specifically your day probably

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didn't go exactly as planned.

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And you may not have gotten everything

done that you wanted to, and there

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might be some disappointment there.

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And accepting that your

day is over, can be hard.

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You're also trying to process your day at

this time, and that can be uncomfortable.

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And you're anticipating the next day.

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And again, The unknowns of

a new day are uncomfortable.

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And if you're like me, there's always

one more thing you can do at night.

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And you're trying to decide what to do.

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So there's like this decision fatigue

of, should you relax or should you

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do something productive or she do.

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Try to get all the things on your to-do

list done, or should you just go to bed?

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Another thing that can make this

transition to bedtime challenging is

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the process of getting ready for bed.

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Might be tedious.

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I really don't like washing my face.

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I don't know why, but that's like

one part of my bedtime routine

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that I I'm still working on.

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I'm like actually doing consistently.

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So tonight as you are approaching bedtime.

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Just really take a step back and

think about these three questions.

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So one, why are you

resisting, going to bed?

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To what about this transition

is uncomfortable for you?

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And then three.

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Practice allowing yourself

to feel uncomfortable.

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And this is hard.

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Like I've been practicing this a lot

in all different aspects of my life.

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, but some ways that you can practice

feeling uncomfortable is too.

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Identify where in your body

you're feeling the discomfort.

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Is it in your stomach?

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Is it in your chest?

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Is it in your head?

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And then what thoughts

are you having with this?

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. Um, comfortableness.

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Is that a word?

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These feelings of discomfort.

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So this transition to

bedtime, that's uncomfortable.

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If you have a really clear plan.

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And you know exactly when you're

going to go to bed and exactly

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what you're going to do before Bed.

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Then you don't have to experience

this decision fatigue every night Like

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you know when you're thinking should

i stay up and do this one more thing

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is it okay to leave my house messy?

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is it okay to do something relaxing

even though i didn't finish everything i

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wanted to do today so all those thoughts

that you're having you're going to

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decide once And then Nighttime won't be

so stressful anymore because you won't

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have to make those decisions every night

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So, if you have been in this late

night cycle for a while, then you've

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probably experienced this will

actually, I don't know if yeah,

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but this is what happens to me.

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Where.

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I go to bed late.

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And then.

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I get up the next

morning and I'm so tired.

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And I say to my husband, Matt,

Remind me to go to bed early tonight.

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And then it gets denied time.

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And.

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It gets to the time that I.

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Want to go to bed because I know

that I'll feel better in the morning.

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But then I feel good then.

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And I I feel awake.

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And so I want to get all these things done

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And it's nice to finally have some alone time where my kids don't need me.

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So I actually have some time

to get some things done.

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And then I go to bed late and then

I get up early the next morning

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again, and I'm like, okay, I

got to go to bed early tonight.

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And I just get in this cycle

and I'm like, This is not how

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I want to be living my life.

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So.

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How do you get out of

this late night cycle?

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Kind of, like I said

earlier, you have to decide.

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A time that you want to go to bed and

that will be different for every person.

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I know I go to bed weirdly early.

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Like I get ready for bed

at eight 30 and then.

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Start reading in my bed at nine.

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And then.

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It's all asleep.

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9 9 30, depending on how tired I am.

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. It doesn't really matter what time it is.

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It's just whatever time

you want to go to bed.

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And then once you've decided that time.

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Then , ask yourself what things do

you find yourself doing at night

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after you wanted to go to bed?

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So like, Are you cleaning or doing

projects that you didn't get to during

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the day or texting people back or planning

things or working, or are you watching

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a show or scrolling on your phone and.

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Just figure out what you're

actually doing at night.

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And then think about when

else can you do those things?

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So if it's something like.

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Scrolling on your phone that

isn't necessary, but it's not

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bad to scroll on your phone.

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When can you plan a time

to scroll on your phone?

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Maybe you schedule a time.

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15 minutes after your kids go to bed to.

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Scroll or , Maybe it's cleaning

that you're not getting to during

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the day that's happening at night.

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Can you hire somebody to clean?

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Can you hire someone in your neighborhood

to come watch your kids for a few hours.

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So you can clean.

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Or can you do a trade, a

babysitting trade with a friend.

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So you have that time to clean.

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Like for me, I didn't want to be

staying up late working anymore.

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And so I have hired a.

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Girl that I know in my neighborhood

that watches my kids for six

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hours a week so that I don't have

to work late at night anymore.

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And I can go to bed on time again.

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And I just want to reiterate here

that there will always be something

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that you want to be doing at night.

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At least I haven't

found a way out of this.

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That there's always one more

thing that I could be doing.

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But I've just decided what's

really important to me and what

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really matters and made sure that

I can do that in my day to day.

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Life So If you've been on a late night

cycle for a while, and then you're

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trying to go to bed earlier again.

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It can be really hard

to actually fall asleep.

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So my first tip to help

you actually fall asleep.

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If like you get in bed and you

know, you want to be sleeping, but

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you can't actually fall asleep.

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Is first to not stress about it.

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And I know this is way easier said than

done, but it's actually really good

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for your body to just rest and think.

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And this is really uncomfortable,

especially because we in this

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day and age are always used to.

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Doing something, whether that's like

having stimulation or input from our

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phones or to listening to something or.

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, getting something done.

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So it can be really hard to just

lay there and do nothing, especially

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because I'm sure you have plenty

of things you want to be doing.

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But , my first tip is

to just let yourself.

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Do nothing and just lay

in bed and it's okay.

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If you're not sleeping, that's

really healthy for your body.

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Another thing that can be helpful

is to not look at the clock.

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I know it can be really stressful

if you're trying to fall asleep

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and you just keep looking like.

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Oh, my gosh.

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It's been taking me.

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Half an hour now, an hour now,

two hours, like it's taking

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me so long to fall asleep.

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So if you can, don't look at the clock.

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, because that can make you overthink.

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Another thing that I'll do, if I can't

fall asleep is all countdown from 500.

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So like, 500, 499, 498, 497.

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And it's like counting sheep, right?

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Like they say, but that can just help you.

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Have something to do with your

mind, but not stress about life.

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Like I tend to do when

I'm trying to fall asleep.

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, this is another thing that's

really random, but this is

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actually how I fall asleep.

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I like to think of a baby name.

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For each gender that

starts with each letter.

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So like a.

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Ariana and.

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Anson.

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B.

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Brielle and.

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Brigham.

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I don't know, like I'll just go

through and think of baby names.

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I promise I'm not pregnant.

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I just always have loved baby names

and love thinking about names.

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, . That just as something that gets

my mind off of things, but it gives

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my mind something to think about

so I can actually fall asleep.

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I've also heard of this idea when.

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You're trying to fall asleep at night

and your brain starts processing

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your day, which is normal.

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And there are some good things about that.

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It can be helpful to

treat it like a movie.

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So As scenes play in your

mind, like slow it down.

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Try to play it in reverse.

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Anyways, I've never actually tried

that, but that's worth a shot.

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Another thing that's really

helps me to actually fall asleep.

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If I'm having a really hard

time, sleeping is insight timer.

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So this is a free app on your phone and

they have like free meditations and stuff.

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I've actually never used the

meditations, but I love using

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them to help me fall asleep.

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, They have ones that are specifically

designed to help you fall asleep.

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So if you get the app, it's called

insight timer, and then you go to sleep.

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And then tracks.

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And then I like to filter it by lengths.

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So.

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You can choose how long you want.

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The things to be, and then they

have tons of different meditations.

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Like the perfect way to get to sleep or.

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Guided meditation for

sleep or things like that.

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So that can help calm my mind

down if I'm really worked up.

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It can get me in a better mood to sleep.

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And I don't sleep with my

phone in my room anymore.

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I used to.

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Have my phone right by my bed.

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So I would just play it on my phone.

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I rarely use insight timer anymore.

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But every once in a while, if I'm really

worked up, I'll ask Matt to play on his

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phone because his phone is in our room.

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So.

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There's probably an alternative way.

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If you don't like to have your

phone in your room to do the,

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on some other sort of device.

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I will look into that.

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The key for.

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Helping yourself to actually fall asleep.

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On time or when you're

trying to go to bed early.

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Is to not let yourself

do anything productive.

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So if you're having a really hard

time falling asleep, it's okay to

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get up and do something relaxing.

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So like take a bath or read a

book or listen to an audio book.

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But my two pieces of advice are don't.

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Let yourself do anything on your phone.

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Do not look at your phone.

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Even if it's like productive, like it's

not just wasting time on there, whatever.

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I would just stay away from your phone.

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And then the second thing is

don't let it be productive.

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Because.

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When you're making

yourself go to bed early.

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You're training your mind and your body,

that this is the time to rest and relax.

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So if you start doing things that

are productive, then your mind and

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your body is going to want to keep

doing things that are productive.

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At that time.

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But just do anything that's

restful and relaxing.

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And I'm pretty strict about this.

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Like, this is probably backward

from maybe what you've heard.

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But if I have an idea, come to my

mind after my bedtime, whether that's

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to text someone or plan something, or

like a content idea for my business.

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Aye.

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Don't write it down or

do anything with it.

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I just let it come.

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And I believe in God.

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And so I pray and I ask God, If it's

important to help me remember at

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another time, because this is my time

to rest again, that might not work

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for you, but that helps me to just.

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Bedtime is bedtime and

it's not for anything else.

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So you'll find something that works

for you, but I thought I would

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just share my nighttime routine.

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So after we get the kids to bed.

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We clean up the kitchen and it

kind of depends if Matt does it,

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or if I do it before you do it

together, kind of depending on.

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How our kids go to bed.

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. And the level of cleanliness

of our kitchen totally

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depends on my energy levels.

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Like if I'm feeling great,

I'll do the whole thing.

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If I'm really exhausted, I'll just do.

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The base level of getting the dishwasher

started and getting the food put away.

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And then,

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I'll usually spend some

time responding to texts.

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Just doing all those things that

are hard to do on your phone when

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you're with your kids all day.

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And then when I finished that,

I'll plug my phone in the kitchen..

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So this is usually around like,

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I don't know.

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Seven 30 or eight at this point.

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I'll plug my phone in the kitchen and

then I'll go get ready for bed right then.

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So I have a very short,

bedtime routine, like.

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As short as possible because.

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I kind of dread getting ready for bed.

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So I just want to make it as

easy as possible for myself.

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So take out my contacts,

floss, brush my teeth.

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I'm trying to get better

at washing my face.

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And then after I finished getting

ready for bed, then I can do

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something again, whether that's.

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Work or do something for myself or.

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Work on a project.

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I don't know, do whatever it is.

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And this is something that would probably

help my evenings be more fulfilling.

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And again, that concept of.

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Taking away decision

fatigue is to decide once.

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So maybe have certain evenings for

cleaning or certain evenings for

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working or certain evenings for doing

something fun or certain evenings for.

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During my church service.

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And this actually totally applies to our

phone use because when we don't know what

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to do, it's really easy to just go on our

phone It's uncomfortable trying to decide

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how to use that time so turning to our

phone we're really likely to do that if

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we don't have something already planned so

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It probably helped for me to

actually decide what I do on what

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nights, but right now I don't

have anything like that set up.

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But then my cutoff time is eight 30.

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So.

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At eight 30, if I am working on

something or doing something.

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That's my time when I kind of have like

a soft cutoff and then a hard cutoff.

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So like eight 30 is when I'm like,

okay, like I want to start getting

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ready for bed, but if I'm in the

middle of something, I'll finish it up.

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But.

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Definitely before nine is when I need to

wrap things up and set aside, even if I

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didn't finish what I wanted to finish.

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Having that cutoff time and then having

a really clear plan of what I'll do.

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So.

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Aye.

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Pray.

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And if I have thoughts while I'm

praying, I'll write those in the journal

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that I have right next to my bed.

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And actually.

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For a while.

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I didn't pray at all at night because.

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When I would pray, I would talk with

God about my day and then I would

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start stressing about everything right

before I wanted to fall asleep and

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it would just get my brain worked up.

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So.

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When I noticed that started

happening, then I would pray earlier

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around like six or seven while

I was feeding my baby to sleep.

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And that was a better time for me

to connect with God about my day.

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And then after I pray and journal,

then I like to read on my Kindle

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right before you fall asleep.

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So I really like having a Kindle.

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And I know reading at night.

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Especially like right before you fall

asleep, won't work for everyone because.

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A lot of you.

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Get so sucked into books that

it might keep you up longer.

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Um, but there are other

things that you could try.

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You could try listening to an audio book.

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You could try.

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Listening to music.

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Just, I like having something

to look forward to at night,

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right before I fall asleep.

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So for me, I like to read.

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Right before I fall asleep

and then I'll read until.

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I feel a little more tired

and then I'll fall asleep.

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So I just want to give a recap on some

of the things that can help you to

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actually make yourself go to bed on time.

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I think the number one most helpful

thing is to choose a clear cutoff

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time for doing anything productive.

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So for me, that's eight 30.

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And then kind of along those same

lines, go to bed at the same time

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every night, even if you're not

falling asleep or you're not tired.

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Just choose a time to start

relaxing and doing calming things.

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And then also.

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Get up at the same time every day.

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And if you're like me, it's

really hard to be motivated to

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actually make yourself get up.

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So I either have my kids wake me up.

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Or I've started a walking

slash running group.

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And if I know somebody is waiting

for me, then that's really

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motivating for me to get up.

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It can be really helpful to have a

clear bedtime routine and make that as

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simple as possible so that you aren't

supposed to be doing all these things

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at night when that's already a hard

transition and a hard time of day.

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Charge your phone outside of your room?

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I don't think I talked about

this enough earlier, but.

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Charging my phone outside of my

room has made such a big difference.

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It can be really easy for me at night

to get caught up in like texting all

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those people and making all these plans

and like getting to all the things

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on my phone that I didn't do before.

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And I do do that.

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That's part of my nighttime routine.

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But then I plugged my phone in.

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And it's a way, and then.

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When I'm laying in bed and I have ideas.

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I don't just grab my phone and do it real

quick because it's downstairs away from me

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and I really can just rest and recharge.

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:

That's been a huge thing for me.

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Another helpful tip is to get ready

for bed way before you're tired.

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Because nobody wants to get ready

for bed when they're actually

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supposed to be falling asleep.

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So just get ready for bed way earlier,

and then you can work on other things.

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:

So then it's way easier just to.

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Fall asleep when you're ready.

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Another helpful tip is to have

something you're excited about.

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Right before you fall asleep to

have something to look forward to

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to make that transition easier.

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That could be watching a show or

reading a book or listening to music.

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:

And the last tip that I want to touch

on before we end today, is that if

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there are certain things that you find

yourself frequently doing after you want

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to go to bed, Then get creative about

a different time that you can do that.

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And when that can happen.

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So this could be.

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Involving your kids in cleaning or hiring

help or doing a trade of some sort.

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And then also just letting it go.

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And knowing that what's

important will get done.

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And then finally, to embrace

the discomfort of transitioning

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to bedtime, that this can be a

hard transition and just allowing

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yourself to feel uncomfortable.

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I would love to hear if any of these

tips work for you and if you still

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have any concerns or questions, Of

things that makes it hard for you

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to make yourself go to bed on time.

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Then please DM me on Instagram

and I am more than happy to chat.

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Thank you so much for listening.

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:

One of the best ways that you can

support me so that i can keep creating

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:

content is to send this to a friend

and share it with somebody else

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:

We'll talk to you next week

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About the Podcast

Mindful with Media
This is the podcast for entrepreneurial moms who want to grow a meaningful, profitable business without sacrificing their other priorities (like spending time with their kids or getting enough sleep).

Host Alex Fales—business coach, mindset mentor, and mom—shares honest conversations, simple strategies, and powerful mindset shifts to help you and make money doing work you love and grow as a person while you're at it.

Expect solo episodes, authentic chats, and real-life stories that help you blend business strategy with personal growth, so you can build a business that supports your life (not the other way around).

Because you don’t need more hustle.
You need clarity, confidence, and the courage to do business your way.