75 | How to turn off your work brain

: 00:00:03

I'm Alex, and you're listening to the Mindful with Media podcast.

2

: 00:00:12

Speaker: Welcome back to the podcast.

3

: 00:00:14

By the time this releases, it

will be officially February,

4

: 00:00:20

which feels really exciting.

5

: 00:00:23

I have shared this story before but it

was so impactful for me that I want to

6

: 00:00:29

share it again So this was a few years

ago now that I was at my in laws house

7

: 00:00:36

there in Wyoming and I had left my

phone in the car, and Matt had taken the

8

: 00:00:43

car to go get together with one of his

friends from Wyoming, where he's from.

9

: 00:00:50

And, I had put my kids down for naps.

10

: 00:00:53

And I was planning to do some work while

they were napping and while Matt was gone.

11

: 00:00:59

But, I couldn't connect to the

Wi Fi, like, on my computer.

12

: 00:01:04

And, My phone was in the

car, so I couldn't ask about,

13

: 00:01:07

like, what the Wi Fi was.

14

: 00:01:08

I couldn't do anything on my phone.

15

: 00:01:10

I wasn't at my house, and so I

didn't have anything, like, I

16

: 00:01:14

needed to get done at my house.

17

: 00:01:17

I didn't have my book with me,

like, I, I could not find anything,

18

: 00:01:22

quote unquote, productive to do.

19

: 00:01:25

And so, I just sat there.

20

: 00:01:28

And was still doing nothing

until one of my kids woke up.

21

: 00:01:35

And it was a really profound

experience for me because I realized

22

: 00:01:40

that it is hard to do nothing.

23

: 00:01:43

And so we, we like to be productive

or having stimulation or having

24

: 00:01:50

input or just always doing something.

25

: 00:01:53

And so that's what I want to talk about

today is how to turn off your work

26

: 00:01:58

brain and In my experience, there are

three different types of my work brain

27

: 00:02:06

that I have to intentionally turn off.

28

: 00:02:10

First is worrying and overthinking.

29

: 00:02:15

Second is related to that, but

it's more about something that I

30

: 00:02:20

didn't get done or something that

I want to do that feels urgent.

31

: 00:02:24

And then third is having new ideas

that feel exciting, like just

32

: 00:02:30

having ideas related to my business.

33

: 00:02:34

And so I'll get more into

each of these throughout the

34

: 00:02:37

episode, but how I Turn off.

35

: 00:02:43

My work brain depends on which type it is.

36

: 00:02:46

If it's worrying and overthinking, or if

it's about a task that I feel like I need

37

: 00:02:52

to do, or if it's , having new ideas.

38

: 00:02:56

But I just wanted to start by pointing

out that it is really easy to think that

39

: 00:03:03

once you've made it, whatever that means,

whether that's once you've made a certain

40

: 00:03:09

amount of money or once you have a certain

number of clients or once you've reached a

41

: 00:03:14

certain level of success in your business,

then you won't struggle with this anymore.

42

: 00:03:21

But the secret is that.

43

: 00:03:23

This doesn't just magically go

away, and if anything, I think

44

: 00:03:28

this just gets worse, or expands if

you don't learn how to manage it.

45

: 00:03:36

And It's just interesting to

think about like whatever you are

46

: 00:03:40

hoping for from your business.

47

: 00:03:42

I assume if you're listening to this

podcast that you don't want to make

48

: 00:03:47

a certain amount of money or have a

certain number of followers or have a

49

: 00:03:51

certain impact and still be worrying

about your business all the time.

50

: 00:03:56

I assume that the reason you want

to have success in your business

51

: 00:04:01

is because One, you care about

making a difference and because of

52

: 00:04:06

a certain lifestyle that you want.

53

: 00:04:08

And I assume that that lifestyle that

you dream of having doesn't include

54

: 00:04:16

worrying about your business and it

doesn't include Working all of the time.

55

: 00:04:21

And so I really think this is

something to practice right now.

56

: 00:04:27

Practice turning off your work brain,

57

: 00:04:30

like knowing that it's not just going to

go away unless you do something about it.

58

: 00:04:34

So, how do we actually do it?

59

: 00:04:37

How do we actually turn off our work

brain so that we can be more present

60

: 00:04:42

with our kids or our husband or we can

actually take a break and do self care

61

: 00:04:50

without obsessing over our business

or how do we turn off our work brain

62

: 00:04:56

so you can actually go to bed at night

and get enough sleep and fall asleep?

63

: 00:05:00

We'll get, we'll get into that.

64

: 00:05:02

So, first.

65

: 00:05:03

I just want to acknowledge

that this takes practice.

66

: 00:05:07

This isn't something that you just

implement, and it's just easy to do.

67

: 00:05:11

And actually,

68

: 00:05:13

this will feel unsafe

to your body at first.

69

: 00:05:16

If you are used to working all the time.

70

: 00:05:20

Thinking about your business all the

time, even if it's not your business,

71

: 00:05:24

if you're just used to like go, go going

all the time, it will feel dangerous to

72

: 00:05:31

your body to not think about it, or to

have a thought to do something and not do

73

: 00:05:37

it, that will feel really uncomfortable.

74

: 00:05:41

And so, just Just recognizing that that is

normal, and that's actually the sign of a

75

: 00:05:48

normal human brain that's doing its job,

76

: 00:05:51

To expect some resistance.

77

: 00:05:55

to this, that this will take practice.

78

: 00:05:58

So for that first type of work

brain that I mentioned, the

79

: 00:06:04

worrying and overthinking.

80

: 00:06:07

And

81

: 00:06:08

I actually have an example

of this just from this week.

82

: 00:06:12

So I, on my, like, kind of what I

wanted to get done during my work

83

: 00:06:17

time was to Basically, create content.

84

: 00:06:23

Post on social media, send out an

email, and I think post on my stories.

85

: 00:06:27

And I was really struggling

to create that content.

86

: 00:06:32

Like, I don't even know if, like,

at the time, I didn't think I was

87

: 00:06:37

struggling to create the content.

88

: 00:06:38

I just thought I was Like,

needing a break from work.

89

: 00:06:42

I was, like, finding myself

procrastinating a lot.

90

: 00:06:45

I just wasn't, like, and then, oh

yeah, like, I asked ChatGPT so many

91

: 00:06:49

times to rewrite whatever I was saying

and try to make it sound better.

92

: 00:06:53

And it just, I ended my workday,

like, I finished all the tasks that

93

: 00:06:57

I had wanted to get done, but I

just ended feeling, like, really

94

: 00:07:02

blah and just overthinking and

95

: 00:07:05

kind of, like, I don't even know,

just like annoyed with myself that

96

: 00:07:08

I was spending so much time creating

content and the content that I created

97

: 00:07:14

just like I was overthinking that

and how like it could have been so

98

: 00:07:19

much better and all these things.

99

: 00:07:20

Like I just, I had ended

my work day, we had dinner.

100

: 00:07:24

Together as a family and then we

were just hanging out as a family,

101

: 00:07:26

which is typically time that I like

my work brain to be off, but I found

102

: 00:07:30

myself still ruminating on work.

103

: 00:07:34

And

104

: 00:07:35

I was able to process a little bit.

105

: 00:07:40

And What I realized is that in my

content creation, I was accidentally

106

: 00:07:45

curating for the wrong person.

107

: 00:07:47

I was curating for someone who

didn't want what I was offering.

108

: 00:07:52

I was curating for someone who was

judging everything I was saying.

109

: 00:07:56

And so it ended up making that experience

really not fun and uncomfortable.

110

: 00:08:03

And so once I realized that, I was

able to, to move on and like stop.

111

: 00:08:07

Worrying about that and overthinking that.

112

: 00:08:11

And so I, I think like often if I'm

worrying and overthinking something in

113

: 00:08:16

my business, I really just need some

space to process, whether that's through

114

: 00:08:21

journaling or talking with my coach or

talking it through with somebody else.

115

: 00:08:28

It's I, yeah, often I just need

some space to process, to be able to

116

: 00:08:34

work through that and set it aside.

117

: 00:08:37

And.

118

: 00:08:38

Often I don't have time in that moment to

process and so even if I can just plan a

119

: 00:08:44

time that I will journal about it or know

that I have a call with my coach on my

120

: 00:08:51

calendar to be able to talk about it and I

can just jot down like this is what I want

121

: 00:08:54

to talk about with her, that can And then

I'll be more present with where I'm at.

122

: 00:09:06

And also with this worrying and

overthinking, it often has to do with

123

: 00:09:12

some underlying beliefs that I have

about my business and myself and if my

124

: 00:09:22

business is working and if If I know

without a doubt that my business is going

125

: 00:09:31

to be successful or, I mean, that's like

a general term, but like, if whatever

126

: 00:09:36

result I want is going to happen.

127

: 00:09:39

It's a lot easier to just let it

happen instead of just, you know,

128

: 00:09:43

keep checking, did anybody reach out?

129

: 00:09:45

Did anybody sign up?

130

: 00:09:46

Did anybody do these things?

131

: 00:09:47

Like, so if I can get to that place of

trust, because the thing is like if we're

132

: 00:09:53

just checking all the time, that feels

like you're working and like maybe making

133

: 00:09:58

progress, but it's not actually working.

134

: 00:10:01

It's not doing anything.

135

: 00:10:02

It's not helping you move

closer to your goals.

136

: 00:10:05

It's actually just well, one, it's

not a pleasant experience and it's

137

: 00:10:09

probably not the lifestyle you want.

138

: 00:10:11

And then I feel like you're, you're

growing your business from this energy of

139

: 00:10:17

like desperation, which can be repelling.

140

: 00:10:21

Even if people like, even if

just subconscious, I think people

141

: 00:10:25

can sense if you're growing your

business from a place of desperation.

142

: 00:10:29

And so if you can just let it go and

trust that it's working, it feels

143

: 00:10:34

better and people can, can sense

that and are attracted to that.

144

: 00:10:40

And so.

145

: 00:10:41

Just some ideas to help yourself

get to this place of trust.

146

: 00:10:44

Well, one, this is why I love having a

coach to help me work through beliefs

147

: 00:10:51

I have about myself and my business.

148

: 00:10:53

But I also love regularly

engaging in journaling practices

149

: 00:10:59

where I train my brain.

150

: 00:11:01

to imagine things working for me and for

my business, even when I'm not working.

151

: 00:11:08

So this is journaling about people

binging my podcast, finding me, and

152

: 00:11:15

then listening to tons of my podcast

episodes from the past several

153

: 00:11:20

years, even when I'm not working.

154

: 00:11:22

They can still be

155

: 00:11:23

consuming things I've created in the past.

156

: 00:11:26

I can imagine people Talking at the

park and somebody sharing about me and

157

: 00:11:34

how I have a certain offer that might

be a good fit for that person or I can

158

: 00:11:42

journal about somebody who is writing

in their journal looking for a certain

159

: 00:11:48

coach that fits my skill set and basically

journaling about wanting to work with a

160

: 00:11:56

coach like me or I can imagine Through

journaling, somebody who is talking

161

: 00:12:03

with their husband about how they can

make it work financially to hire me.

162

: 00:12:09

So these are just some examples, but I

regularly imagine these types of things to

163

: 00:12:16

help me to believe that those things are

happening and lots of things are happening

164

: 00:12:22

that I can't see to, to help my business.

165

: 00:12:25

And so.

166

: 00:12:26

I would regularly journal about these

things, imagining things working,

167

: 00:12:31

and then also if you find yourself

starting to worry about your business

168

: 00:12:37

when you're not wanting to be

thinking about your business, you can.

169

: 00:12:41

Take a deep breath and imagine one

of those things and then let it go.

170

: 00:12:46

And that can bring you kind of back to

that place of trust instead of worrying.

171

: 00:12:52

And then another thing that will

actually fit into all three types,

172

: 00:12:55

but sometimes things feel really

Like, , what if somebody reached out

173

: 00:13:01

and they want to work with me and

I haven't gotten back to them yet?

174

: 00:13:03

Like I just need to check so that I can

get back to them as soon as possible.

175

: 00:13:07

And it's like, I love to ask

myself the question, is this truly

176

: 00:13:11

as urgent as it feels right now?

177

: 00:13:14

Because often I'm experiencing a false

sense of urgency, almost nothing.

178

: 00:13:20

is very urgent.

179

: 00:13:21

And so just remembering that in

the moment, like, is this, is this

180

: 00:13:24

really as urgent as this feels?

181

: 00:13:26

And then letting that go.

182

: 00:13:28

So that was for worrying and overthinking.

183

: 00:13:31

So the next type of work brain that

I mentioned that I feel like I have

184

: 00:13:36

to intentionally turn off is thinking

about doing something that feels urgent.

185

: 00:13:42

And the thing that helps me with this

the most is having designated times to

186

: 00:13:49

work and designated times not to work.

187

: 00:13:54

So I typically have like times that are

For working and I'm pretty strict about

188

: 00:14:02

like I use that time to work It's not

for other things and then I also have

189

: 00:14:08

pretty strict times that I do not work

during this time even if I want to this

190

: 00:14:13

is time strictly for not working and

then also like times when I don't plan

191

: 00:14:20

to work, but like if something were to

come up like And I wanted to work then

192

: 00:14:25

and I could, like, I don't know, that's

how, what's been helpful for me is just

193

: 00:14:29

kind of having those designated times to

protect my work and protect other things

194

: 00:14:34

that are important to me in my life.

195

: 00:14:36

And so within my work times, I like

to establish my non negotiables.

196

: 00:14:44

And then if those are done.

197

: 00:14:47

Then declare my efforts as enough.

198

: 00:14:49

And as an entrepreneur, there is

always, always, always, always

199

: 00:14:55

something more you could be doing.

200

: 00:14:58

And I often think about this idea

that like everything is important

201

: 00:15:03

as an entrepreneur and also.

202

: 00:15:05

None of it is important.

203

: 00:15:07

Like, and I think I've heard that before.

204

: 00:15:10

I can't remember who I heard that from.

205

: 00:15:11

Like, everything matters

and nothing matters.

206

: 00:15:14

And, I don't know.

207

: 00:15:16

And so yeah, I think just like

deciding for yourself in this season.

208

: 00:15:20

It can change in the future, but in

this season what are your Bare, bare

209

: 00:15:25

minimum non negotiables and then

from there, you're nice to do's.

210

: 00:15:31

And if I find that I'm frequently not

finishing the things that I said I would

211

: 00:15:36

do during my set aside work time, then

that's when I brainstorm a solution.

212

: 00:15:44

So like, do I want to

have more time to work?

213

: 00:15:46

Do I want to hire a

babysitter for more hours?

214

: 00:15:49

Do I want to use more?

215

: 00:15:52

Time in my evenings.

216

: 00:15:53

Do I want to stay up later?

217

: 00:15:54

Like, do I want to have

more designated work time?

218

: 00:15:57

If not, do I need to let it go?

219

: 00:16:02

Is it something that's actually necessary

or are there other things in my business

220

: 00:16:06

that I can let go so that I have more

time for this thing, or do I want to

221

: 00:16:11

hire it out or hire something else out?

222

: 00:16:13

Like.

223

: 00:16:14

You know, that's not necessarily in your

business, but hire something else out.

224

: 00:16:19

So you have more time for that.

225

: 00:16:21

So just like being really honest

with myself of like, if I'm not

226

: 00:16:24

getting things done within the work

time I've set aside, brainstorm

227

: 00:16:30

some solutions, either let it go.

228

: 00:16:33

Make more time to work

or hire something out.

229

: 00:16:37

And I also have noticed that

typically if Certain tasks are

230

: 00:16:43

taking way longer than necessary.

231

: 00:16:46

It's usually because I'm getting caught

up in Fear and perfectionism, I think

232

: 00:16:52

the things that take, like the example I

shared earlier where like I was taking way

233

: 00:16:56

longer than I like to to create content,

it's because I was so scared and, and like

234

: 00:17:01

just recognizing that there are certain

tasks that feel really uncomfortable.

235

: 00:17:07

It feels really uncomfortable to

put yourself out there, especially

236

: 00:17:10

if you're just getting used to it.

237

: 00:17:12

And, or if you're putting yourself

out there in a new way, then that

238

: 00:17:17

can feel really uncomfortable.

239

: 00:17:19

And so just recognizing that and

actively let go of that fear and

240

: 00:17:25

perfectionism can help you to not

take as much time on certain tasks.

241

: 00:17:30

And then again, If I find myself

thinking about like, Oh, I need to get

242

: 00:17:34

that thing done that feels especially

urgent, to ask myself, Is this truly

243

: 00:17:40

as urgent as it feels right now?

244

: 00:17:42

Because like I said earlier, often I'm

experiencing a false sense of urgency.

245

: 00:17:47

Okay, that third of work brain.

246

: 00:17:51

This is more like those exciting and

Just those ideas that you have for your

247

: 00:17:56

business that like, whether that's content

ideas or offer ideas or podcast ideas or

248

: 00:18:03

yeah, just like different ideas of things.

249

: 00:18:06

I will say that this one

doesn't bother me as much.

250

: 00:18:10

Like I don't mind.

251

: 00:18:11

Having exciting ideas if they're

from a place of excitement

252

: 00:18:15

and not from a place of worry.

253

: 00:18:18

And I, there is a distinction and I

think recognizing that distinction,

254

: 00:18:21

but yeah, they don't bother me as much

unless they're pulling me away from.

255

: 00:18:27

something that's important to me.

256

: 00:18:28

So like being present with my kids

or my husband are typically the

257

: 00:18:32

things where if I'm thinking a lot

about ideas for my business, when I'm

258

: 00:18:37

wanting to be present with them, then

I want to be able to turn that off.

259

: 00:18:41

And so you can listen to

260

: 00:18:44

episode 42.

261

: 00:18:45

It's called nine tips to be more present.

262

: 00:18:48

And that has some more practical tips for

if you're having, you're having a hard

263

: 00:18:52

time like being present for something.

264

: 00:18:55

And with this, like, even with these

ideas that are exciting that I have for

265

: 00:19:01

my business, I still have designated

times that I will not write ideas down.

266

: 00:19:09

At night is one of those, when I am

having my sleep time if I have an idea

267

: 00:19:16

come to me, I pray and ask God that if

it's It's an idea that's important to

268

: 00:19:23

help me remember it at another time.

269

: 00:19:25

And it's been interesting

that like, I don't have those

270

: 00:19:28

ideas come at night anymore.

271

: 00:19:29

Like they come at different times now.

272

: 00:19:32

And I used to have designated times, like

if, when I was with my kids, that if I had

273

: 00:19:37

an idea come, I wouldn't write it down.

274

: 00:19:40

I think it's become enough of a habit.

275

: 00:19:43

Like it just hasn't been a problem that

I, I don't have that anymore, but I

276

: 00:19:47

think it is fine to just jaw ideas down.

277

: 00:19:50

And then move on.

278

: 00:19:52

But if it's becoming, yeah, like a

problem where you're like, it's kind of

279

: 00:19:57

annoying then you can use some of those

earlier tips of having designated times.

280

: 00:20:02

And something else that I've been thinking

about this with this topic, I have a

281

: 00:20:06

lot of people tell me that their best

ideas always come to them when they're

282

: 00:20:11

trying to be present with their kids.

283

: 00:20:14

And I just was thinking, because I know

this happens to me too, where I wonder

284

: 00:20:20

if it's because all of the other times,

like when you're not trying to be present

285

: 00:20:25

with your kids, if it's because you have

other inputs, whether a podcast or music

286

: 00:20:31

or reading scriptures or just too busy

trying to get things done or scrolling

287

: 00:20:39

Instagram, like, do we have enough time

where you're just trying to be present?

288

: 00:20:44

And I wonder if we have more time and

space for that in, in your calendar,

289

: 00:20:50

if those ideas will come at other

times instead of just when you're

290

: 00:20:55

trying to be present with your kids.

291

: 00:20:57

It might, anyways, may or may not be

true, but just there's something that

292

: 00:21:01

was on my mind, something to think about.

293

: 00:21:03

And again, with these exciting and

expansive ideas, if they come to me,

294

: 00:21:07

I like to check in with myself.

295

: 00:21:09

Is this really as urgent

as it feels right now?

296

: 00:21:13

So just kind of to recrap, not recrap,

recap what we talked about today.

297

: 00:21:21

So

298

: 00:21:22

the ability to turn off your work

brain won't magically go away

299

: 00:21:27

once you've reached a certain

milestone in your business.

300

: 00:21:30

This is something that you You have

to learn and practice yeah, and

301

: 00:21:36

won't just go wait a certain time.

302

: 00:21:38

And it will feel unsafe to your

body at first to, to not worry about

303

: 00:21:43

your business, to not do anything,

to sit in stillness, to have an

304

: 00:21:50

idea and not do anything with it,

to, have designated times not to

305

: 00:21:54

work, not to worry, not to think.

306

: 00:21:57

It will feel And so, just recognizing

that that's very normal and this is

307

: 00:22:03

something that you, you will practice

and to not beat yourself up for that.

308

: 00:22:08

So, the first type that we touched on

was worrying and overthinking and some

309

: 00:22:13

ideas to get to a place of more trust and

belief so that you don't spend as much

310

: 00:22:20

of your time worrying about your business

and overthinking things in your business.

311

: 00:22:24

The second type that we talked about was

when you have an idea for something that

312

: 00:22:28

feels really urgent, that you feel like

you need to get something done right then.

313

: 00:22:34

And then the third thing we talked about

was when you have ideas for your business

314

: 00:22:38

that feel exciting and feel expansive.

315

: 00:22:41

And yeah, just some different

tips and ideas to handle that.

316

: 00:22:44

So as we finish today, I think it

can be really helpful to just do a

317

: 00:22:47

little self check and ask yourself,

when do you tend to have a hard

318

: 00:22:52

time turning off your work brain?

319

: 00:22:56

And why does that matter to you?

320

: 00:22:57

Why do you want to be able to turn it off?

321

: 00:22:59

And then what do you find

yourself thinking about?

322

: 00:23:01

And then depending on what you find

yourself thinking about, use some of the

323

: 00:23:05

strategies that we talked about today.

324

: 00:23:07

And just practice closing your,

that tab, and accept that this

325

: 00:23:12

will feel uncomfortable at first.

326

: 00:23:15

Speaker 4: You want to Talk about

working one on one together, send

327

: 00:23:20

me a DM on Instagram or send me an

email at alex at mindfulwithmedia.

328

: 00:23:27

com and we can chat and see if it

would be a good fit for both of

329

: 00:23:32

us to work one on one together.